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Old 01-04-2013, 02:31 AM   #1
xylophone
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Why We Were Meant For Eachother

I fight to tear off the robes that clothed me in the old ways,
But I fear it will leave me naked and cold

She said, "I'd never lie to you again",
With fingers crossed,
Eyes wide open

I said, "I'll never question you again",
With arms open,
Heart on the floor

I knew all the secrets you hide,
And I always will,
You know I know,
But you'd never come clean

We were raised on different planes,
Damned to look in different ways,
I fought to tear off the robes that clothed me in the old ways,
But it left me naked and cold

She said she'd never lie,
I said I'd never question
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Old 01-04-2013, 05:31 PM   #2
JustRooster
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
Things here just seem kinda cliche to me. Sorry, bud. This is a good skeleton, but I think the real meat of this piece has yet to be attached.
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:46 PM   #3
Totallynottommy
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Join Date: Apr 2012
I disagree with the previous comment. I think this is quite brilliant. Maybe it could do with a bit of beefing up, but what's there is great, it conveys what you're trying to say, doesn't overly exaggerate it, it's relatable and I think it's quite cute. I know little about the technicalities in songwriting, but from the POV of an outsider, well done!
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