Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics > Songwriting & Lyrics Contests
User Name  
Password
Search:

View Poll Results: Which piece do you like best?
Dark Orchid (purple) 5 45.45%
Dark Red 1 9.09%
Dark Slate Gray 1 9.09%
Sienna 2 18.18%
Navy 2 18.18%
Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
Old 11-27-2012, 03:48 PM   #1
jiminizzle
Lost Pilot
 
jiminizzle's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Coming Down, Cleveland Avenue
UK -[FINALS]- Autumn Competition


a Longing

actual autumn
air as sweet as anything
cold color in your cheeks
and the trees -
lonely anarchists
give it all up for the cause
we lie in some deciduous drift
exchange our secondhand gifts
an empty box and a bow you stole
an old sweater with patched up holes
a list of everything i ever wanted to know
then you lean into me, but all i have for you

is this longing -

that it were spring
that you had never given me anything
that i could take it back
but it doesn't - it doesn't work like that
and a harsh wind picks up and you arch your back
and crane your neck and listen to traffic pass
and when it leaves, i am what's left.
and i'm sorry for that.



occulta tempore suo (hidden season)

incandescent luminary tombstone
stitched upon black and purple felted skyline
changing now to light brown and faded gray-greens
returning now to home and all those delicate home-things
quietly floating down I-35 in a coma or a day dream
A tailor tracing softly along an unwritten seam
fingers pitched and poised for irreverent exchange of breathing
bracing now for Winter and a subtle deconstruction of my being
incandescent luminary tombstone
how glad I am that it's you I've been seeing.




Waiting with crystalline hands
Impatient as the cold seeps glacially upward
Let me in

A touch of burning skin; reminiscing
Cliché thoughts of days spent in damp embers
With warm hands, warm hearts...

But this is different
A late blossom
Stopped in the spring by others
Vibrant displays that lure, seduce
Leaving you with empty pockets
Wasted time
Searching through stale nectar

As the blazed ground fell to cinders
It could push through, different, unknown
Unfelt before

Let me in
Out of the cold
Out of the rain
Take my hands in yours
Just friends
It's all I can take now

Let me in
We can let the days pass
Warm inside
Together
Just friends

Just friends.




Sternocleidomastoid

Your red scarf swam through fall winds
anchored by your neck and framed by my eyes.
That part of you I said I'd kiss,
sternocleidomastoid,
a proud word to swallow, practically void
but if only you could see you,
through the lens I do.

Look further;

I'm a brown leaf - a dying husk
that dances somehow in pulse,
circling and fluttering
with red fabrics coloring
pretty necks on cold days.






Germs

We are germs
procreating with each kiss; swallowing
each other’s cough as if our lips
were the only gas mask that could
pull us through the leaf-stained air –
carrier of the season’s change flu.

Chewing our bodies,
with the blind belief that our skin
provided the vitamins
that’d keep our body hair
out of setting on end
to the chilling breeze, as though
we were making love in a room
full of recent scoured balloons
and old television sets.

We’re relying on this because
holding hands is better than wearing gloves,
while treading through humid stones
we once feared to slip on.
The waves we sometimes gaze upon
are getting more violent as our fingers
tie together more tightly.

But we’re still too afraid
to get lost on this need
and apparent dependency,
because germs are easily
eliminated and we
are deciduous.
__________________
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
jiminizzle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2012, 05:28 PM   #2
AngryGoldfish
do I "urk" you?
 
AngryGoldfish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ireland
I really liked a Longing and Sternocleidomastoid. Great work.
AngryGoldfish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2012, 06:23 PM   #3
The Hurt Within
Preserving the name...
 
The Hurt Within's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Stoking your fire...
^^^

Same. Although the last had some highs too that made me consider it. For me 1st, just.
__________________
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
The Hurt Within is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-2012, 06:47 PM   #4
#1 synth
Weeow!
 
#1 synth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
first.

but I actually did relate quite a bit to gray so it was a close second.
__________________
Fan of Spoken Word and Pornography?
Then LIKE my Facebook Page!
https://www.facebook.com/DylanDDebelis
#1 synth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2012, 12:10 PM   #5
cubs
x
 
cubs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: mexico city
dang, no multi-vote. i liked the last two, 'germs' and the big word one. wish i could vote for both. MY VOTE GOES TO THE LAST ONE.
cubs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2012, 03:18 PM   #6
JimiJamesThe2nd
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
I had to give it to gray. Dem lines was dope, son. Trell.
JimiJamesThe2nd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2012, 08:28 PM   #7
seventh_angel
So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
 
seventh_angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
This is actually quite disputed !
seventh_angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2012, 01:12 AM   #8
smartalecG94
UG's Resident MoonMoon
 
smartalecG94's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Chasing a stick
Gray. Loved em all but Gray touched something in me just wish i had managed to get mine in
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by captainsnazz
That's some nice hair you've got there.


I'm watching you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BottleOfSmoke
If I was a rich man in 17th century Britain, I'd totally adopt Alec and make him my heir.
smartalecG94 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-06-2013, 05:45 AM   #9
jiminizzle
Lost Pilot
 
jiminizzle's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Coming Down, Cleveland Avenue
sorry I forgot to post results. I would have voted for sienna, breaking the second place tie.

purple 1st
sienna 2nd
off to check who those belong to, then the points thread
__________________
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
jiminizzle is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:53 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.