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Old 02-02-2013, 01:55 AM   #1
Jaguar1965
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Lyrics first try

Trying to make a non generic song I don't want metalcore labels or anything really. So here we go

"I'm just so tired
My eyes are bloodshot
My future gray
My mind dug deep into the ground
Hey!!!
Just give me another moment here to waste away!!!
The bright nights!!
The dark lights!!!
The Hate,the pain, won't go away"

All I got for now, I want feedback positive and negative.
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Old 02-02-2013, 04:27 AM   #2
Bootyboy12
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pretty cliche` and angsty but if this is your first attempt then that's excusable, just keep writing and you'll get better

pretty generic soz lol
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Old 02-03-2013, 03:29 AM   #3
Jaguar1965
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bootyboy12
pretty cliche` and angsty but if this is your first attempt then that's excusable, just keep writing and you'll get better

pretty generic soz lol

Thanks for real feedback I hate asking my friends for them lol
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