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Old 06-01-2013, 12:27 PM   #2221
MeGaDeth2314
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I feel like I was still a kid when this thread first started....so for me it was "Embarassing 'horney' things you do now" and it made me feel ashamed. Also, it taught me the wrong way to spell embarrassing and horny.
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Old 06-15-2013, 06:45 PM   #2222
LostLegion
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I used to be a messed up horny kid. And at this time I hadn't discovered masturbating yet so I need other ways to relieve my sexual desires. So I used to get some book that showed you how to draw, go into the bathroom, strip naked, and rub my dick on the sketches of naked women.

Around this time I also didn't have a clue about my body. I didn't know what my balls were for and I didn't know other people had them and I thought I had a tumor or something. I also noticed that when I got a boner the skin on the tip of my penis would go back. I also thought this was some body dysfunction, so I closed the tip of my dick, got sellotape, wrapped the tape around it and hey presto, it was closed.

It seemed like a good idea until I realised I couldn't piss.
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:30 PM   #2223
theogonia777
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I had this one teacher in 7th grade that I was super in love with. About halfway through the school year I started to draw vore drawings showing me in her belly. I had drawn vore type pictures before that, but it was always goofy kind of stuff, whereas this was fairly detailed and clearly erotic in nature. I was very bad at drawing, so the pictures looked pretty awful. Her pose was probably the worst part, just kind of standing there with her legs slightly apart and her arms a little bit off from her sides. It was almost like the way a really little kid draws people. As bad as the drawings were, though most cringeworthy parts were the descriptions that I wrote on the pictures.
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:49 PM   #2224
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This was my sophomore year in university. My girlfriend got an internship at an art school in Chicago for a whole year, which is 8 hours away from me, and we stayed in touch while she was away. We called each other all the time and every now and then, we would Skype. One day while we were Skyping, she decided to surprise me with her newly bought sexy lingerie. One thing lead to another and we ended up Skype fapping to each other. My roommate was gonna be in class for another hour, so I knew I was safe.

While we were Skype fapping, I heard some keys jangle. I didn't think anything of it because my roommate was supposed to be in class and I assumed it was one of my several neighbors, but it wasn't. After I heard the keys go into the door, I realized my pants were at my ankles. Fuck, my ninja pant tugging skills were only at level 7. While I franticly try to pull my pants up, the door opens up, roommate just casually says "sup" until he realizes my pants were down. We both have a deer in the headlights look until he awkwardly walks out of the room. My girlfriend saw the whole ordeal and couldn't stop laughing. I let out an embarrassed sigh and continue the Skype session with my girlfriend.

About a month later, I open the door and see him fucking his girlfriend . It was really awkward since they were doing a standing 69. He gives me the deer in the headlights look between his girl's asscheeks, but she doesn't realize I'm there. I awkwardly walk out of the room while admiring the fact they can do a standing 69.

We're even now asshole.
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:39 PM   #2225
Trowzaa
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:40 PM   #2226
LostLegion
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please someone contribute. Porn isn't doing it for me tonight.
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Old 07-19-2013, 06:52 PM   #2227
chookiecookie
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Originally Posted by Horsedick.MPEG
This was my sophomore year in university. My girlfriend got an internship at an art school in Chicago for a whole year, which is 8 hours away from me, and we stayed in touch while she was away. We called each other all the time and every now and then, we would Skype. One day while we were Skyping, she decided to surprise me with her newly bought sexy lingerie. One thing lead to another and we ended up Skype fapping to each other. My roommate was gonna be in class for another hour, so I knew I was safe.

While we were Skype fapping, I heard some keys jangle. I didn't think anything of it because my roommate was supposed to be in class and I assumed it was one of my several neighbors, but it wasn't. After I heard the keys go into the door, I realized my pants were at my ankles. Fuck, my ninja pant tugging skills were only at level 7. While I franticly try to pull my pants up, the door opens up, roommate just casually says "sup" until he realizes my pants were down. We both have a deer in the headlights look until he awkwardly walks out of the room. My girlfriend saw the whole ordeal and couldn't stop laughing. I let out an embarrassed sigh and continue the Skype session with my girlfriend.

About a month later, I open the door and see him fucking his girlfriend . It was really awkward since they were doing a standing 69. He gives me the deer in the headlights look between his girl's asscheeks, but she doesn't realize I'm there. I awkwardly walk out of the room while admiring the fact they can do a standing 69.

We're even now asshole.



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Most guys are like chookie and will **** anything.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:06 PM   #2228
Seref
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When I was in kindergarten my best friend was a girl and when the teacher would make the class stand in a single file line, I would stand behind her and grind my peepee on her butt.

And that's pretty much the most action I've ever gotten.
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:15 AM   #2229
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This deserves a bump.
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:20 AM   #2230
EndTheRapture51
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Oh god it has returned.
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Old 05-21-2014, 04:27 AM   #2231
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Originally Posted by EndTheRapture51
F**k yeah, it has returned.


FTFY
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what if you meet the perfect woman but you then can't get off in bed because you need lots of vegetables up your ass or whatever
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