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Old 09-30-2014, 02:23 PM   #4501
Fisheth24
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So guys, this is the closest I've ever been to a death in the family, apart from how my uncle died before I was born so I have no knowledge of what he was like aside from family telling me things about his legacy as a very successful entertainer in Scotland and stuff. But this is weird.
Currently my gran is in a hospital, in a deep sleep and the doctors don't know what's wrong after two scans. I just, never thought this would hit me that quickly.

Plus I keep arguing with my best friend. It really sucks because I have feelings for her and I just feel that because stuff isn't going right and I keep upsetting them and hurting them. Sorry about this guys, but I need a hug.
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Old 10-08-2014, 07:27 PM   #4502
Blackwaterson89
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Originally Posted by Fisheth24
So guys, this is the closest I've ever been to a death in the family, apart from how my uncle died before I was born so I have no knowledge of what he was like aside from family telling me things about his legacy as a very successful entertainer in Scotland and stuff. But this is weird.
Currently my gran is in a hospital, in a deep sleep and the doctors don't know what's wrong after two scans. I just, never thought this would hit me that quickly.

Plus I keep arguing with my best friend. It really sucks because I have feelings for her and I just feel that because stuff isn't going right and I keep upsetting them and hurting them. Sorry about this guys, but I need a hug.

I am sorry to hear that man. I will pray for your family man.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:08 PM   #4503
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I have a question to ask about cognitive distortions. It's related to the recent 'fake it till you make it' thread.

Why do psychologists advise to, 'fake it 'till you make it'? Aside from the fact that it's dishonest, it's utterly hypocritical.

There is a kind of cognitive distortion that psychologists call, 'Emotional Reasoning' and the 'distorted' premise is that, "If I feel that I am a terrible person, I am a terrible person." And apparently, that is an irrational belief. Aside from the fact that one has a positive message and the other has a negative one, what makes the two beliefs mutually exclusive from one another?

If my therapists are going to argue that emotional reasoning is irrational, then what does that make their beliefs? How can they make that argument when the hypocrisy of such a statement is so obvious?
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Old 11-01-2014, 10:39 PM   #4504
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Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE
I have a question to ask about cognitive distortions. It's related to the recent 'fake it till you make it' thread.

Why do psychologists advise to, 'fake it 'till you make it'? Aside from the fact that it's dishonest, it's utterly hypocritical.

There is a kind of cognitive distortion that psychologists call, 'Emotional Reasoning' and the 'distorted' premise is that, "If I feel that I am a terrible person, I am a terrible person." And apparently, that is an irrational belief. Aside from the fact that one has a positive message and the other has a negative one, what makes the two beliefs mutually exclusive from one another?

If my therapists are going to argue that emotional reasoning is irrational, then what does that make their beliefs? How can they make that argument when the hypocrisy of such a statement is so obvious?

I am totally against being this dishonest with yourself. You have to be honest with yourself to find out where you are at. If I honest about my problem I can being to work on them and surrender them to God. Being dishonest with yourself sets a weak foundation. However I dont believe in beating yourself over the back either. I believe in speaking life into situations.

If I go yeah yesterday was bad day, I am going make this one better, then things will get better if I work at it. Also, I really starting grasp the fact of helping other people benefits yourself as well. It begins to show yourself that you are making a difference. It may take a while to see results, but it works man. When you start sharing love man, it is contiguous. I think that why God says walk in love, just simple fact is that we all need help each other out.

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Old 11-01-2014, 11:00 PM   #4505
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But how does any of what you've said answer my questions?

I think it's dishonest because it tries to sweep all underlying issues that are causing the problem under the rug for the sake of putting on a front. Which is the very kind of behavior that therapists advise against.

I don't mean to offend but your posts just don't seem very coherent; there are grammatical errors all over the place. And I don't believe in god, so I don't consider the suggestion regarding turning to god as being very helpful at all. You mean well, but it doesn't bring me any comfort. For the longest time, I didn't want to be that explicit, as you're very passionate about your faith. But look at it from the perspective of a non-believer; it just isn't helpful.

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Old 11-02-2014, 07:53 PM   #4506
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Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE
But how does any of what you've said answer my questions?

I think it's dishonest because it tries to sweep all underlying issues that are causing the problem under the rug for the sake of putting on a front. Which is the very kind of behavior that therapists advise against.

I don't mean to offend but your posts just don't seem very coherent; there are grammatical errors all over the place. And I don't believe in god, so I don't consider the suggestion regarding turning to god as being very helpful at all. You mean well, but it doesn't bring me any comfort. For the longest time, I didn't want to be that explicit, as you're very passionate about your faith. But look at it from the perspective of a non-believer; it just isn't helpful.

Honestly, I just reread that post. It was all over the place and I didnt edit it before hand. I usually try edit everything now before I post. I honesty must have been really tired or not paying attention when I posted that. I am sorry for that crap shoot of a post. I redited the post so it makes sense man. Sorry about that.

However, this is what I was trying to get to last night.There is a reason so many of them suggest that. They are working on the concept of what you think you are, is what you will become. A part of that is all fine and well, but it is being dishonest to yourself. It builds a weak foundation that can easily be broken. It goes beyond just blind faith in yourself, it goes into the work as well. That's what they miss in that mentality.

Edit: Honesty, this is probably the last time, I am going post here. Good Luck to you guys and blessings. I mainly use this place for tabs and I have ton on my table. If you need to talk, shoot me a pm or email at Huskyboyd@gmail.com. I am working on how to be better a husband, and worker. I am also studying to be a Pastor. I might post some blogs on here, or go the PWT every once in awhile. Honesty, it is easier to evangelize face to face someone then it is on an internet forum anyways. It is about love and not condemnation. Love is hard to show on internet forum. I use facebook as ministry but I feel that really the only good avenue anymore online because you can get on a personal level with someone.

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Old 11-03-2014, 08:50 AM   #4507
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This is the last time you're posting here?

That sucks. Please take care dude.

Thank you for taking all the time you have to talk to everyone here. You've often been very willing to take the time to listen, whatever the problem might be. And sometimes that alone is enough.
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However, this is what I was trying to get to last night.There is a reason so many of them suggest that. They are working on the concept of what you think you are, is what you will become. A part of that is all fine and well, but it is being dishonest to yourself. It builds a weak foundation that can easily be broken. It goes beyond just blind faith in yourself, it goes into the work as well. That's what they miss in that mentality.

I know. That's why I think 'fake it 'till you make it' is a fallacy.

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Old 11-03-2014, 08:48 PM   #4508
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Originally Posted by T00DEEPBLUE
This is the last time you're posting here?

That sucks. Please take care dude.

Thank you for taking all the time you have to talk to everyone here. You've often been very willing to take the time to listen, whatever the problem might be. And sometimes that alone is enough.

I know. That's why I think 'fake it 'till you make it' is a fallacy.

I just need to move on. Like I said I have a lot on my plate, that and thread has been pretty dead for awhile. You can still hit me up on my email if you need to talk blue.
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Old 11-16-2014, 02:08 PM   #4509
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Old 11-16-2014, 02:59 PM   #4510
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I know that feeling all too well, I've been fielding a lot of questions from friends and family (and even my therapist) about what I want to do with my life and I just don't have an answer that doesn't feel ridiculous/unachievable.

Are you seeing a therapist currently?
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Old 11-16-2014, 03:08 PM   #4511
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No, I don't know how you'd even go about finding a therapist. I understand therapy is quite a big thing in the US but I don't know who you'd go to in the UK for that kind of stuff, especially free (being unemployed = no money)
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Old 11-16-2014, 04:20 PM   #4512
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You've just got to explain how you're feeling to your GP and ask if you can have access a talking therapy. I'll warn you now the wait is gonna be a while, it could be something like 6 months unless they think you're condition is serious enough to warrant immediate action. But it's free and after the initial 12 sessions, if you need to, the sessions can go on indefinitely.
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Old 11-17-2014, 07:53 PM   #4513
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So I lost my friend mentioned in my last post
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