Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 05-28-2014, 04:24 PM   #1
rushmore
bblblubluewhale
 
rushmore's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
" "

e l s i e

though I am not of any
metaphysical relevancy (to you),
I do wish to impart the
strangeness of being:

" "
__________________
Blog of my writing

Last edited by rushmore : 05-28-2014 at 04:31 PM.
rushmore is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2014, 05:38 PM   #2
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
 
vintage x metal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
how strange it is to be anything at all.




this is nice. your travels have come to you, yes?
__________________
GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY



Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to alaskan_ninja
vintage x metal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-29-2014, 12:48 AM   #3
hippieboy444
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
i marvel at how you can utilize brevity. when space is such a premium, you have a way of selecting nearly the perfect words to drive the poem along. it's really quite marvelous.

as always, a great read.
__________________
wild blue yonder
hippieboy444 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-31-2014, 03:16 AM   #4
culex-knight
mon titre d'utilisateur
 
culex-knight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
Don't know if I like the somewhat explicit "to you."

Otherwise, <3.
__________________
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching
culex-knight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-01-2014, 08:13 PM   #5
21wickwing
wick2107
 
21wickwing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by culex-knight
Don't know if I like the somewhat explicit "to you."

Otherwise, <3.



I second this motion. I found it a little bit odd and unusual for you to include something a bit unnecessary as it would be assumed anyway. I can see how it might add some other direction by specifically saying you mean something to others somewhere else, maybe as a shot to her. I just think it is either over-thought or under-thought.

But yeah, great work on the poem
21wickwing is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:02 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.