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Old 10-12-2013, 11:24 PM   #4421
ChucklesMginty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemmyisgod97
What bounces and makes children cry ?
My cheque for Children in Need.


Oh God. That's not even that terrible but so funny.
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Man, I forgot how freaky those old school movie skeletons are. Especially that jerky stop motion way they move.

But seriously, everybody knows skeletons don't exist in real life.
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Old 10-13-2013, 01:18 PM   #4422
metalblaster
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I'm not sure this one's been told. But one of my staff told me this when I was on course this summer:

-Hey, did you know Princess Diana was on the radio?

-Really?

-And on the windshield, and the dashboard, and the steering wheel...


Numero dos,

-Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

-Nope.

-Yeah she totally did, they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.



Combine this script with a Afghanistan war vet who just constantly spews hilarious shit from his mouth despite his steady seriousface stare.


Also, I should point out, I really don't get why everyone liked that woman, aside from the fact that she was a humanitarian (like thousands of others). Basically she was a glorified humanitarian because she was royalty. And royalty nowadays ain't such a good thing. Except if you get married, then every woman on earth will fall in love with you and your wife for a few weeks and will dream about your wedding forever.

Last edited by metalblaster : 10-13-2013 at 01:20 PM.
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Old 10-13-2013, 01:24 PM   #4423
lemmyisgod97
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Who holds the record for the fastest reader in the world ?
911 victims, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquito's dying needlessly of aids.
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Old 11-02-2013, 11:25 AM   #4424
theogonia777
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not a joke but it fits in with this thread

jamaal the black guy
had a very dark skin color
and if you ever saw it
it was obviously during the day time

all of the white people
used to laugh and call him names
they never let poor jamaal
join in any basketball games

then one foggy christmas ever
the police came to say
jamaal the black guy
you're under arrest for automotive theft

then the white people tried him
and they gave the verdict with glee
jamaal the black guy
you're going to prison
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That's right I have a four inch penis.


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Old 11-02-2013, 11:33 AM   #4425
Obsceneairwaves
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;_;
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It's over simplified, So what!
context is irrelevant
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Old 11-02-2013, 11:47 AM   #4426
ehbacon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
not a joke but it fits in with this thread

jamaal the black guy
had a very dark skin color
and if you ever saw it
it was obviously during the day time

all of the white people
used to laugh and call him names
they never let poor jamaal
join in any basketball games

then one foggy christmas ever
the police came to say
jamaal the black guy
you're under arrest for automotive theft

then the white people tried him
and they gave the verdict with glee
jamaal the black guy
you're going to prison


I tried to sing it in my head, it really doesn't work with the song and the lyrics are stupid.
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"C'mon Helmet head, get it on!"...I borrowed that when I had sex for the first time. Too much? I don't think so.


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Old 11-02-2013, 12:50 PM   #4427
lemmyisgod97
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A pedophile was walking through the woods in the middle of the night with a little boy, the little boy said, "I'm scared" and the pedophile replied, "Your scared, i'm the one who has to walk home alone"

A man was walking through a forest when beside the top of a cliff he came across a crying boy, he asked the boy what was wrong and he said, "My mom fell off the cliff and died, and my dad fell off trying to save her and he's dead too", the man begins to take off his belt and trousers and the boy says, "Why are you taking your trousers off ?" and the man says "Son, this is not your lucky day".
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Old 11-02-2013, 12:52 PM   #4428
theogonia777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ehbacon
I tried to sing it in my head, it really doesn't work with the song and the lyrics are stupid.


you have to sing it along that theme from that disney movie

song of the south
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To die without leaving a corpse... That is the way of us Garo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lolmnt
That's right I have a four inch penis.


Now you have no excuse... | On Toni Loomi - Riffs
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Old 11-02-2013, 02:27 PM   #4429
ehbacon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theogonia777
you have to sing it along that theme from that disney movie

song of the south


you mean Rudolph?

because that's what I was singing it to and it doesn't work.
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"C'mon Helmet head, get it on!"...I borrowed that when I had sex for the first time. Too much? I don't think so.


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Old 11-02-2013, 03:39 PM   #4430
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how do you make a baby cry twice?

wipe your bloody **** on it's teddy bear
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Old 11-02-2013, 03:46 PM   #4431
k.lainad
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What did the white man say to the mexican?

You missed a spot over there.
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hello i am a big fan of tony loomi he is the best guitarist led zeppelin ever had

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Old 11-02-2013, 04:04 PM   #4432
slash_GNR666
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This thread....

My wife just asked me why I was grinning and lol'ing a lot..

She would probably kill me for laughing at some of these

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btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




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So ya this thread has just taught me that I need a longer hammer...

pls nobody sig this
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:34 PM   #4433
LostLegion
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The one thing ask.fm has showed us is that people would rather kill themselves than lose a bit of weight.
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Old 12-07-2013, 05:23 PM   #4434
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show
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Old 05-02-2014, 09:09 PM   #4435
k.lainad
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LostLegion
show



hahahahahahaa, too soon?
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hello i am a big fan of tony loomi he is the best guitarist led zeppelin ever had

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