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Old 01-06-2014, 11:52 AM   #1
Dregen
damien wren
 
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: hell
well,

great
minds would
think alike- if
great were a recipe for
stagnance.
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Old 01-06-2014, 04:31 PM   #2
hippieboy444
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brevity is often overlooked in writing, but i think its usage has to be deliberate and heavy. this is not a bad piece by any means, but it lacks a weight and sensibility that makes its brevity more like bluntness. maybe that's your intention, and if so, keep it the way it is. but for me, this lacks a certain nourishment that would make me want to come back.
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Old 01-06-2014, 09:21 PM   #3
Dregen
damien wren
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hippieboy444
brevity is often overlooked in writing, but i think its usage has to be deliberate and heavy. this is not a bad piece by any means, but it lacks a weight and sensibility that makes its brevity more like bluntness. maybe that's your intention, and if so, keep it the way it is. but for me, this lacks a certain nourishment that would make me want to come back.


it was supposed to be blunt, like a sort of punchline, but i definitely see what you mean. i just thought on that phrase ("great minds think alike") one day, and decided to write it down. i have a bad habit of putting up my OTS stuff, but this was kind of one of those 'lightbulb' thoughts that amused me, considering it's a phrase i hear often. don't know how i'd revise it, but something may come to me that will give this one a bit more depth.

edit: i think i may have an idea... but it needs some time. may be able to still retain the bluntness while giving it the brevity you were talking about. thanks.

Last edited by Dregen : 01-06-2014 at 10:47 PM.
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