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Old 03-16-2013, 06:33 PM   #1
DaysofGrace
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Does this chorus seem cliche?

So, I've bee working on a semi-hard rock song called "Event Horizon". I'm thinking it's going to be a slower song, with a bit of a somber feel to it. Anyway, I've trying and trying to come up with some lyrics, beginning with the chorus. I like what I have, but I fear it might be a bit cliche. Opinions?

------------------------

I'm so tired of getting off the ground
Just to get knocked down
But something tells me there's no coming back from this.

I don't want to fight to survive
I just want to live my life
But something tells me there's no coming back from this.

I guess this is where it ends.

------------------------

Thanks!
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:23 PM   #2
sickman411
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I would rephrase "I just want to live my life". Not only does it sound a bit cliché, it also sounds like filler. And you really don't want that in a chorus.
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:43 PM   #3
Theehero
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Yes, While reading it, I imagined chad kroeger voice. That being said, I think it depends on the context.
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:49 PM   #4
kenziethomas13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Theehero
Yes, While reading it, I imagined chad kroeger voice. That being said, I think it depends on the context.


That does sound like some Nickelback type thing. I like it though, and think that the last line is a little cliche, but I think it fits well with that part.
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Old 03-16-2013, 08:43 PM   #5
DaysofGrace
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kenziethomas13
That does sound like some Nickelback type thing. I like it though, and think that the last line is a little cliche, but I think it fits well with that part.


Nickelback? Ouch.
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