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Old 03-04-2013, 11:39 AM   #1
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microwaveramen's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013

hows this sound

Verse 1
Shut your mouth
Go away
I know what
You want to say
Donít you try
To make me cry
I know itís
All a lie
Tissue box
Stolen by the fox
Gotta leave now
Before the door locks

All these times Iíve failed in the things I do
Impossible to tell whoís screwed who
Now Iím in the hole with all the time Iíve spent
No way for me to pay off this debt

Verse 2
Running through the fog
Sleeping like a log
Mind is stuck
Like a rusty cog
And hell-bent
I threw out
The letters you sent
Iím confused
You are too
We are stuck
In place with glue


Verse 3
For the dents
Living in
The past tense
A second chance another glance
Dodge the blow
From the lance
Trust yourself
Nobody else
Donít ever
Ask for help


Verse 4
Empty cup
Donít look up
Enoughís enough
Falling down
Run outta town
Look for me
In the lost and found
Her perfume
Caused you to swoon
But it led
To your doom
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Old 03-06-2013, 01:22 PM   #2
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JustRooster's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
Keep working on it, bud. It honestly sounds pretty forced and sorta corny. Work on making it sound more conversational.

2012 Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:08 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2013
ok thanks
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