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Old Yesterday, 01:16 AM   #7721
megano28
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Can you give snippets of her conversation here? And I meant 'haven't'. The thing about expressing interest is that it's terrifying in the younger years, but it ends up being something worth embracing as you get older and would prefer to not spend so much time not knowing.

The difficulty, at first, is in moving the conversation away from the daily, friend topics, to something more personal. Find a way to nudge the conversation to be about her. Sincerity is good, you can play around or even be an asshole, if you know how. There are so many ways to flirt, that it's difficult to feed you a generic line. Get a feel to which style feels right to you, and go with that.
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Old Yesterday, 01:44 AM   #7722
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Originally Posted by megano28
Can you give snippets of her conversation here? And I meant 'haven't'. The thing about expressing interest is that it's terrifying in the younger years, but it ends up being something worth embracing as you get older and would prefer to not spend so much time not knowing.

The difficulty, at first, is in moving the conversation away from the daily, friend topics, to something more personal. Find a way to nudge the conversation to be about her. Sincerity is good, you can play around or even be an asshole, if you know how. There are so many ways to flirt, that it's difficult to feed you a generic line. Get a feel to which style feels right to you, and go with that.

You are right about it being terrifying. What would you consider personal to talk about? The conversation we had was just a friendly one. I teased her a bit about her missing school just because. Just normal talking. Would an example of flirting be "you look really pretty today!" Or something like that? When would be a good timimg to say that? You see with that kind of line, I don't see how to continue the flirting from there. Also I don't know what to say after flirting if she says something like thank you. Do I just continue the conversation by asking what's up or whatever? Thanks btw
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Old Yesterday, 02:44 AM   #7723
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 457undead
You are right about it being terrifying. What would you consider personal to talk about? The conversation we had was just a friendly one. I teased her a bit about her missing school just because. Just normal talking. Would an example of flirting be "you look really pretty today!" Or something like that? When would be a good timimg to say that? You see with that kind of line, I don't see how to continue the flirting from there. Also I don't know what to say after flirting if she says something like thank you. Do I just continue the conversation by asking what's up or whatever? Thanks btw


Personal, as in being about the person and not an object. I know it sounds like a lesson in semantics, but it's good to clarify. You make it about her, whether it's about appearance or her actions. That's where you flirt. Trying to flirt when the subject is about school or homework doesn't work as well. Now her being at school or her doing the homework is modified just enough so she can be addressed.

I'd avoid 'pretty', only because it has a degree of innocence to it that isn't usually becoming of a flirtatious attitude. On top of that, your compliment is very isolated, so that it doesn't come across as natural, and as mentioned, stagnates the conversation.

To give you an example, regarding her missing school you could go about it somewhat like:

You: So how are you going to explain your absence to (teacher)?

Her: *answer*

You: Well, you're lucky you're cute. You can give them the eyes and get some sympathy. Now me, on the other hand, I'd have to find my lowest cut V-neck and some lipstick if I wanted to get away with missing school.

It gives it a dose of humor and doesn't put a heavy emphasis on the compliment. Casual is your goal. If it comes off too forward, it can easily be misconstrued as a pending revelation of love, which no one wants.

Even for this 'goodnight' you want to give her, you could play with the concept of beauty sleep to slip one in there. My only thought is that, depending on how long you've been talking, the sudden change of focus might throw her off. It's important to flirt consistently and early, otherwise the change can seem unnatural. That being said, I don't know your situation, nor do I know her to make any kind of prediction. All I can do is wish you the best and remind you that rejection sucks, but is a learning experience. Better you do this now, than later.
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Old Yesterday, 03:07 AM   #7724
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 457undead
You are right about it being terrifying. What would you consider personal to talk about? The conversation we had was just a friendly one. I teased her a bit about her missing school just because. Just normal talking. Would an example of flirting be "you look really pretty today!" Or something like that? When would be a good timimg to say that? You see with that kind of line, I don't see how to continue the flirting from there. Also I don't know what to say after flirting if she says something like thank you. Do I just continue the conversation by asking what's up or whatever? Thanks btw


To me, flirting's key component is getting her on the same wavelength and then you can say shit implicitly or indirectly and she'll know what you're really saying. Puns, double entendres, clever plays on language are all things that i've found to work pretty well. The thing with punning is that you have to be able to...commit to the act, lol. Once she is on your same level or wavelength and stuff then making her laugh is infinitely easier and absolutely the best way to be remembered. A girl won't necessarily remember exactly what you say, but goddamn she will remember the way you make her feel.

So having said that, you ask if saying "you look really pretty today" is a good thing to say. It is, but only if you've led the conversation there. You can't just say that to a girl you have no rapport with lmao. But if you've spent some time with her and the setting is right and you can say it with confidence and no meekness then it's much more effective. Conversation is an art, you can't just splash a bucket of one paint colour on a canvas and expect to be able to paint the sistine chapel. It's a skill that is acquired over time and experience, and while now it might feel super awkward because omgz puberty but we were all right there man.

Like i said, she'll remember how you make her feel more than what you've said. So make her feel good. People like to feel good, it's not hard.
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Old Yesterday, 04:49 AM   #7725
EndTheRapture51
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How old are you?

You basically have to tell a girl she's good looking and attractive and you like what you see but in a way much more subtle than saying "You looked so pretty today!". It's really hard for us just to give you a line out of context because it will likely sound creepy and pick up artist like, plus everyone has different styles of flirting and what they respond to.

But if you're saying good night to someone just do something kinda playful and mischievous like "Sweet dreams, don't spend too long dreaming about me " or something similar to that. Obviously not explicit or offensive, it's a bit playful and fun but it honestly just depends on the conversation you've had so far. If she's into you and you're flirting well, that might be fun and go down a treat, but if it's just out of the blue it might be a bit creepy.
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Old Yesterday, 07:50 AM   #7726
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Jesus lord you guys are so cheesy. Goodnight and good morning texts are weird
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Old Yesterday, 07:54 AM   #7727
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Nah some girls love that kind of shit they think it's super cute and romantic
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Old Yesterday, 09:45 AM   #7728
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that's only the really shallow girls though. seriously who gets wet over a ****in "goodnight" text

My GF would tell me to stop being a 12 year old if I did this.
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Old Yesterday, 09:50 AM   #7729
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I like goodnight texts a lot. I don't see how liking them is shallow.
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Old Yesterday, 07:10 PM   #7730
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They don't swing either way. Just because something doesn't appeal to your habits, it doesn't make them legitimate targets of ridicule. Habits that stem from their abuse could be, but I don't see the problem with their use as greetings. Literally the same concept as a "Hey" or "Hi" except that they are associated to a certain time of day.
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Old Yesterday, 08:01 PM   #7731
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Texting "hey" or "hi" on their own is also lol

Liking them is not shallow, saying goodnight works if you've been talking leading up to it and you're like "right I gotta sleep u mug. nighttt" but random "morning/goodnight beautiful"s are just creepy
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Old Yesterday, 08:03 PM   #7732
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Why? Some girls legitimately like them. Who are you to judge what a person likes or dislikes. Good morning/night texts can infer that you're thinking of a person as the first/last thing you do in a certain day. That's pretty romantic for a lot of people. You just sound v boring.
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Old Yesterday, 08:04 PM   #7733
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Yes, I am very boring
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Old Yesterday, 08:34 PM   #7734
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Originally Posted by MapOfYourHead
but random "morning/goodnight beautiful"s are just creepy


It's a good thing everyone's not interested in dating solely you then.

I stand as a neutral on this, and I can't wrap my head around the dissent. I'm pretty sure people doing these kind of things aren't using them on random individuals, and rather, saving them for boyfriend/girlfriends.

An opinion is one thing, but you obviously don't have the numbers necessary to make a claim. Some people are cold, others want to become bundles of warmth at the first sign of affection. The only thing you accomplish by attempting to paint them all as the same is highlighting your own ignorance.

Edit: The idea of romance is a non-factor. People doing these things aren't doing them once in a blue moon. Something that is made routine begins to lose any kind of romance, especially if done daily. Not to mention that adhering to a practice only because it's romantic is misguided. Do it because you want to, not because you're trying to be a white knight.

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Old Yesterday, 09:01 PM   #7735
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Right so I've never asked for dating advice on a forum before (I think?), but here goes...

I've been seeing a girl for just about a month now and 2 weeks ago we became 'official'. Everyone I've told that immediately goes 'woah, that's fast!' and thinking about it I wonder if I agree with them.

We get on really well but I just can't shake that nagging feeling that we've jumped in at the deep end too quickly. I have expressed these concerns to her and while she does agree and is happy to attempt to slow things down, I also don't really feel like that's really happening.

Long story short, she's more than happy with how things are going and I guess seems very 'keen', whereas I'm still on the fence I suppose. As I say, we get along great, but I can't quite put my finger on why I'm still umming and ahhing about it all.

With that in mind, is it fair to keep things as they are? With me carrying on but still making my mind up, while she is well and truly into it all, or is it much fairer if I just end it for her sake? My conscience tells me the latter, but I also don't want to end up regretting something that could've been good...

EDIT: For a little more context, when I say I've been seeing her about a month, I mean I hadn't even met her before that (we met via a dating site), so it's not like it's a friendship that's progressed or anything, our ultimate intentions have been clear all along by the very fact that we were both on a dating site.

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Old Yesterday, 09:30 PM   #7736
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Find out what it is that's making you uneasy first. I mean the actual cause, and not the fact that it started faster than normal. Depending on what that issue is, your actions could be changed. Assuming you still liked her, and saw something long term with her as your partner, it would be unfair to both of you to simply end it. At the same time, if you weren't as invested in the concept of long term as she is, then you shouldn't string her along and hope that your mindset will change. There is a third option here, and that's slowing down, but actually following through with it.

Don't get hung up on the time frames, if that's the only problem. But you have to figure out why you're still on the fence, as that's an important factor in deciding whether you want this or not.
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Old Yesterday, 09:32 PM   #7737
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and 2 weeks ago we became 'official'.

what does this even mean? is it just the agreement that you'll each stop seeing other people?
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Old Yesterday, 09:37 PM   #7738
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Dating would assume the were going out from time to time, but not tied down. Official is usually reserved for the title of boyfriend/girlfriend.
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