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Old 11-08-2012, 07:08 AM   #21
AndruLuka
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I read all on above post that every user share a lawyer joke. So all the jokes are very funny and I really enjoying it. But I just only says that lawyer is so important person in our society.
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:40 AM   #22
Demon Wolf
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"What do you call a ship full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A step in the right direction!" - Guybrush Threepwood
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:41 AM   #23
Obsceneairwaves
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndruLuka
I read all on above post that every user share a lawyer joke. So all the jokes are very funny and I really enjoying it. But I just only says that lawyer is so important person in our society.



who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:48 AM   #24
SlackerBabbath
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What do lawyers have in common with sperm cells?
They both have a 1 in 10 million chance of becoming a human.
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:59 AM   #25
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Your ex wife and your lawyer are both drowning, what do you do first?

Catch a movie or go out to dinner?

Not as funny as the others
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:02 AM   #26
Telecaster7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndruLuka
I read all on above post that every user share a lawyer joke. So all the jokes are very funny and I really enjoying it. But I just only says that lawyer is so important person in our society.


I don't know how to feel about this...
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:06 AM   #27
MadClownDisease
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Quote:
Originally Posted by █▐▌█▐▌
we all have lawyer jokes

three lawyers on a boat
one says to the other
"i'm going on a biz trip,
need you to water my fern.
i'll give you $5 and a handjob later
to do it."
2nd lawyer agrees
1st lawyer comes back from trip
2nd lawyer is in steam room
getting handjob from 3rd lawyer
1st lawyer says "what the heck
now how am i supposed to pay you"
2nd lawyer says
"gimme another 5 dollars"
laugh track

I don't get it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrimsonBizzare
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" wonders one of the lawyers. "Watch, and you'll see," replies one of the engineers.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats while all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers see this and agree it is quite a clever idea. After the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed lawyer. "Watch, and you'll see," replies one of the engineers.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. A few moments later, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

Also I get this but why is it being lawyers and engineers relevant?
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:27 AM   #28
Burgery
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Quote:
Originally Posted by █▐▌█▐▌
oh woe
oh woe
y did you make me
this way
with clops of
black bricks
for a name

oh woe oh woe
i try to make
a fire with no heat
or light

but i fail

it burns
just hot enough
just bright enough
to pass for fire

i fail

i try to give
a man in the desert who is
thirsty
sand to drink

but i fail

maybe because he is delirious
it quenches his thirst

i fail

i used to be
the master
the blood of
many billy goats
i did taste

now i hunger
for their stringy
grey fur

i fail

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Old 11-08-2012, 08:34 AM   #29
Philip_pepper
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?



Accountants know they're boring.
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Old 11-08-2012, 09:26 AM   #30
captainsnazz
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Why do they
bury lawyers
under five metres
of dirt
?
Because deep down
they're really
good people
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Old 11-08-2012, 10:29 AM   #31
Ometh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by █▐▌█▐▌
I ask for lawyer jokes
people post
lawyer jokes

this thread
is a
failure

you make me
miss
tortilla

EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by AndruLuka
I read all on above post that every user share a lawyer joke. So all the jokes are very funny and I really enjoying it. But I just only says that lawyer is so important person in our society.

What the fuck.
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Last edited by Ometh : 11-08-2012 at 10:34 AM.
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Old 11-08-2012, 10:44 AM   #32
Ninja#117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by captainsnazz
Why do they
bury lawyers
under five metres
of dirt
?
Because deep down
they're really
good people



That was honestly funny to me.
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Old 11-08-2012, 10:48 AM   #33
FireFromTheVoid
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndruLuka
I read all on above post that every user share a lawyer joke. So all the jokes are very funny and I really enjoying it. But I just only says that lawyer is so important person in our society.

That is a good joke.
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Old 11-08-2012, 12:14 PM   #34
Dregen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrimsonBizzare
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. [rest of joke]


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Old 11-08-2012, 12:49 PM   #35
CrimsonBizzare
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadClownDisease
Also I get this but why is it being lawyers and engineers relevant?

I had read it before, remembered it involved lawyers and I copypasted it - they're not really relevant but that's just how the joke is written.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndruLuka
I read all on above post that every user share a lawyer joke. So all the jokes are very funny and I really enjoying it. But I just only says that lawyer is so important person in our society.

You registered, searched for threads involving lawyers, and bumped an 8-month old thread to post that shit? You're an arse. Probably a lawyer.
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Old 11-08-2012, 01:16 PM   #36
jonathan666666
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrimsonBizzare
You registered, searched for threads involving lawyers, and bumped an 8-month old thread to post that shit? You're an arse. Probably a lawyer.

Oh shit. I didn't even realize . Check his sig, He's a lawyer pig!
he also bumped a 6 month old thread about guitar insurance lol. Yea, he's a law-bot.
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Last edited by jonathan666666 : 11-08-2012 at 01:26 PM.
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Old 11-08-2012, 02:15 PM   #37
Mathedes
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"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." - Shakespeare
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:28 PM   #38
ron666
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what is a definition of waste? A bus full of lawyers going off a cliff with one empty seat in the back.

ron666
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Old 11-11-2012, 10:31 PM   #39
MH400
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I'm doing a double degree in Law and will be a Lawyer
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