Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 02-10-2013, 11:01 PM   #1
WildMiles96
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ohio
Phase (W.I.P)

I havn't posted any lyrics in a while, so here's something I recently came up with

Well I find it kind of funny,
How you find me so frail
Well I find it kind of funny,
How you're leaving me to fail

Now Your out of breath, from your last cigarette
(Some secrets weren't meant to be told)
Now Your holding on while you pirouette
(That breath was yours to hold)

Well dont you know(It's just a f***ing phase)
And I have to admitt(There's nothing I would change)
It's nothing old, but nothing new
This wasn't meant to be said to you
I've Had Enough!
You've Had It Too!
And so you know:
My life isn't a f***ing phase for you

Critiquing myself, I feel that "holding/hold" was a bit redundant in the 2nd stanza, and the 1st stanza seems kind of overly cliche
Any comments or criticism welcome
WildMiles96 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:52 AM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.