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Old 09-13-2013, 01:50 AM   #1
bahburah
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Thumbs down Quitting band because there not serious.

Hey so Im thinking of quitting my band, like the title says because they are not as serious as I am about making music.

I was the 4th member to join as the lead guitar. Its instrumental.
The music is more in my preference but I just can't trust the song writher to come up with an interesting arrangement and the songs are very obviously untight and they don't seem to hear it or try to fix it.

I also can't make suggestions to fix it without coming across as a dick.
(so my ideas arnt being spoken)

They also have no marketing strategy at all. (facebook, hype, bands to play with, ect.)
I think that this is what pisses me of the most because I think that the music is something new and interesting to my area and I don't see it going anywhere successful because of how ******ed there marketing is. There just doing random trial and error shit instead of being strategic about it.

To me this is the fun of being in a band. Making it a smart living breathing creative force.


They also want to add another guitar player (wtf 3 guitars) who also wants to do some synth and vocals.

I feel like there just ****ing around. I don't see the logic in adding another member other than filling up space but we wouldn't have to do that if we perfected the shit out of the songs until they are tight. And I really don't want to have to organize in a 5 member band.

Since there adding another guitar player Im thinking of just quitting because then they will have him at least. What do you know he could be my secret replacement? lol

If so then I can't wait to see there faces on how casually and easily I will be leaving.


Im a dick anyways so I don't care when I say that I feel like there not on the same level as me in regards to the success mind state.

I think even they might not know it but they just want to hang out with there music friends and make music that no one is going to judge. Which is fine but not for me.

I want to be judging the shit out of everything we do as a band so that we only get the best results together.

I mean this is art right?


So I just want some more prospective before just quitting, so thats why I posted this here.
Any of you guys been in a similar situation?

Last edited by bahburah : 09-13-2013 at 01:53 AM.
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Old 09-13-2013, 02:56 AM   #2
Phil Starr
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You should think this through just a bit, why you came here I suppose so you are being open minded.

First my wife has a saying; don't put out your dirty knickers until you have clean. If you have another band to go to then fine but you may go back to just playing in your bedroom.

Secondly think about what this says about you. You are unhappy with a lot of what the band do but don't tell them then walk out with no discussion. Is that the best way of dealing with things. A band meeting where you listen to them and they listen to you would be better. And put it in a positive way; not so much 'you guys suck' and more 'I think we have something worth doing some really hard work on' they might surprise you.

The situation however is difficult, it sounds like these guys are only interested in jamming. Nothing wrong with that but not for you. Bringing in a singer/keys however is a great move if you do want to move on. Maybe they are more ambitious than you give them credit for but just see a different way forwards. Or maybe jamming with more people is just more fun for them. Unless you talk then you won't really know.

In the end if they just want to jam then at least you know. Then you can just politely say 'sorry not what I'm looking for at the moment, hope you guys have fun but it isn't for me' and leave as a friend.

Has it occurred to you that you could be in two bands at once though. That's what I do, have fun with the semi serious band and work with a more serious one.
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:23 AM   #3
AlanHB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TS
I also can't make suggestions to fix it without coming across as a dick.
(so my ideas arnt being spoken)


I think this is the main problem, there's little to no communication within the band. I think Phil has some good ideas about having a band meeting and setting out a plan, however if you are in the sort of group where you cannot express opinions then the band is going to fail anyway.

As for coming across "like a dick", I'm not sure exactly what you mean. In the bands I play in (admittedly we're a lot more experienced than you) we simply speak our mind. If we don't like something we say it, but we always give solutions to fix it. If you say "that sucks" and nothing more, yes, you're just being a dick. If you say "that is messy, lets work on this, just try this out, I just want to hear what it sounds like" then you are being constructive. Part of being in a band is the ability to take direct criticism and changing your parts when needed to suit the band.
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:55 AM   #4
Robfreitag
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sounds like you are over it, so you should either try to fix it or leave it. Staying and not doing anything will probably just make you more bitter.
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Old 09-13-2013, 07:23 AM   #5
VanTheKraut
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They're, their, perspective, and that's.

So you want to quit your band because they haven't acted on the ideas that you're not voicing. In the future is it your plan to make music with mind readers? If not, you should probably practice being able to express your opinion and make your views known on your band's work.
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Old 09-13-2013, 09:09 AM   #6
GuitardudeDK
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You keep saying 'they', which i reckon could be part of the issue here. If you took initiative, something might happen. I obviously don't fully understand your situation, other than what i've been able to read from your post, but honestly, it feels like you're just relying on them to do stuff instead of taking actions yourself. If you wanted a facebook page, make one. Sure, the band might not be interested in taking the band to another level, but it could be, they just don't know how, in which case you'll have to take the reins. Either do that, or find another band. It doesn't have to be hard.
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Old 09-14-2013, 10:23 AM   #7
axemanchris
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Lots of good advice here so far, so not going to repeat anything.

But just to add here:

Quote:
I was the 4th member to join as the lead guitar. Its instrumental.

I think that this is what pisses me of the most because I think that the music is something new and interesting to my area and I don't see it going anywhere successful because of how ******ed there marketing is. There just doing random trial and error shit instead of being strategic about it.

They also want to add another guitar player (wtf 3 guitars) who also wants to do some synth and vocals.

I don't see the logic in adding another member

I think even they might not know it but they just want to hang out with there music friends and make music that no one is going to judge. Which is fine but not for me.

I mean this is art right?



I'm really seeing conflicting ambitions - not just between you and your bandmates, but between you and.... you.

This is art, but you want to be a strategic business. You don't mind being an instrumental band, but you are upset about the prospect of it not going anywhere.

You want to make music that people are going to judge.... but judge how? On its artistic merit, or with attendance at shows and CD sales?

First, you need to decide which side of the fence you are on. In order to be an artist, you need to cast aside any inkling of giving a f*** about sales, recognition, commercial success, and how people will judge your work. Art is about having the freedom to say "it is what it is, and I'm expressing myself. If you like it, great." As soon as you venture into those other things, you are no longer creating art, but a product - a commodity. Which is it going to be for you?

Further to that.... if you add another member to play keyboards and sing, you will probably have a product that more people will be receptive to attending shows, buying music, and being recognized as "those people are a good band. We should go see them." Your bandmates may be closer to some of your goals than you are willing to accept.



and then.....

Quote:

Since there adding another guitar player Im thinking of just quitting because then they will have him at least. What do you know he could be my secret replacement? lol

If so then I can't wait to see there faces on how casually and easily I will be leaving.


The first part of that makes you sound insecure, though you keep telling us how much "better" you are, like you're maybe over-compensating for being insecure. The second part just makes you seem arrogant, which is often a way that peopel over-compensate for being insecure.

If you are a good player, and let's go with that assumption, decide which path you want to take. Don't tell others how good you are. Leave that to other people to tell others how good you are. Learn to communicate and be not only the player that people want to work with, but the team member that people want to work with, and you'll have what it takes to go pro, whether that means as an artist or as a maker of commodities.

CT
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Last edited by axemanchris : 09-14-2013 at 10:25 AM.
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Old 09-14-2013, 10:29 AM   #8
axemanchris
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TL/DR - The band that gets together in their basement and joyfully cranks out their angst in a smear of feedback-driven, atonal angular noise rock in free time are artists.

As soon as they bitch that they can't get shows, or that nobody comes to their shows, they are no longer artists, but providers of musical entertainment service. In effect, they care complaining that their "business" isn't thriving.

CT
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Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by firehawk
Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
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Old 09-14-2013, 01:00 PM   #9
CelestialGuitar
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I must say, as mentioned, if you want to band to be somewhat successful, generally, you'd be wishing they would get a vocalist. In fact, a vocalist is so important to commercial success, I refuse to join any band that doesn't have a great vocalist, and often opt to find great vocalists and help form the band around them, so, perhaps they are more serious about their success than you. If you were on a higher level than them when it comes to being a musical success, you'd be in a Post-Hardcore band, or a Pop-Punk band, not an instrumental band, so you do need to stop judging others, you seem frustrated that music that you're passionate about will not pay your bills.

Also, you need to stop with the 'I can't wait to see their faces' rubbish, they aren't going to give a damn if they've got a more willing member lined up, they wouldn't give a damn anyway, really, you're a guitarist, there are thousands of us in every city, you're not a big megastar that's doing them a favour, and all acting like an arrogant idiot will do is make you a laughing stock of your local music community. Leave with dignity, don't throw your toys out of the pram, and wish them the best of luck, that's the best advice I can give.
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Old 09-25-2013, 10:06 AM   #10
Haynus_aynus
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You sound like an entitled child. Go ahead, quit this band, it actually probably is the best situation, but I think you'll be quitting a lot of bands in the future the way you make things sound.
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