Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 08-12-2013, 02:37 PM   #1
hippieboy444
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
'reach'

in the morning the light from my window
was viscous and thick and almost
round;
i turned over and felt warm stretches of sun
wash over my back in slow waves
as if approaching a shoreline
and quietly crashing into me,
seeping between the blankets and the matress
finding nooks and crevices i was unaware of.

the miles between the parts of my body was only
imaginary, like the depth of horizon
when standing seaside; like the scaled geography
of a map
that only represents a separation.

i began remembering how ugly the beach is,
how filthy and oily the sand and boardwalks are,
how people shoot fingers off with fireworks
and the appendages are never found.
and my bed and room took on similar character:
the dirty clothes, the stiff carpet,
the clutter of artifacts that will never be found
and even if found would only hint at
the full catastrophe of my personality,
neither interesting nor postmodern nor
revealing subconscious desires;
and i began feeling
an incredible distance
between myself and others
as a necessary boundary,
as in the water surrounding a peninsula,
or an archipelago,
or
like a national park

there is too much beauty
in this slow casualty,
the high rate of frames per second
capturing the gradual deceleration of my body
as if i have been tossed overboard
in a heavy sleeping bag
with no chance of emerging
above the waterline.


if someone cast out and saved me
it would be miraculous.
hippieboy444 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2013, 11:37 PM   #2
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
 
vintage x metal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
you should read a couple of poetry books, I think you'd find them appealing:
- human wishes by robert hass
- the dream of the unified field by jorie graham

this really picks up at the third stanza. your voice is clear. your breaks speak with intention. I'm sorry for the circumstances that may have brought them about, but it feels more delicate when written out, and what a way to cope. the first stanza can be cut a bit.

keep posting
__________________
GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY



Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to alaskan_ninja
vintage x metal is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:20 AM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.