Trecion

I haven't written/posted anything here for a while but here is my latest attempt. The sound I have in my head for this is pop-punkish in the style of Mayday Parade and Taking Back Sunday.

------------------------------------------------------

I'm sending my
last farewell
(to all my friends)
who took the chanche
(to take revenge)
on all the things
i never did to them

I'm giving in to
all the guilt
(they made me feel)
so miserable
(of all the shame)
but it won't
get the best of me

After all the things i did for you
After all the times i pulled you through
I never thought that
we would end like this
All I ever wonder now
and all i need to know
is

is it too
hard to
tell me how i wronged you?
Tell me what i could do!
to keep you as a friend
instead of just an end.

__________________
-Schecter Tempest Custom
-Ibanez EW20WNE-NT
-Digitech Bad Monkey
-Boss TU-3
-Boss NS-2
-ibanez PM7

fenderdude06

I'm sending my
last farewell
(to all my friends)
who took the chanche
(to take revenge)
on all the things
i never did to them

*chance. sounds like there was a misunderstanding between you and friends. the last three lines explain the feeling well.

I'm giving in to
all the guilt
(they made me feel)
so miserable
(of all the shame)
but it won't
get the best of me

frustration followed by determination, nice flow of emotions. also good use of parenthesis for the (I'm assuming) backing vocals.

After all the things i did for you
After all the times i pulled you through
I never thought that
we would end like this
All I ever wonder now
and all i need to know
is

We've all heard these lines a thousand times before in pop/punk. I would scrap this stanza and re-write it.

is it too
hard to
tell me how i wronged you?
Tell me what i could do!
to keep you as a friend
instead of just an end.

Good job keeping the flow of emotion constant. Finishing the thought with a question adds more mystery to this and personally I hope you and your friend work things out. keep writing!

Trecion

Thanks! I'll work on it and post an improved version.

__________________
-Schecter Tempest Custom
-Ibanez EW20WNE-NT
-Digitech Bad Monkey
-Boss TU-3
-Boss NS-2
-ibanez PM7

lububble17

diddo to fenderdude06!