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Old 01-13-2013, 07:32 PM   #1
jonthorsigmunds
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Are you mine?

Hey UG

I've had this song ready for a while that just needed lyrics and I asked a friend for some help. Last night she came to me with an idea and a structure of lyrics which, ended up like this. Please rate and don't spare me at all!

A brief overview of the story:
The lyrics are about a young man who lost the love of his life because of difficulties. They ended on good terms and he's wondering if they still have a chance.

Here are the lyrics:

Can we pretend everythings alright
Can we build castles in the sky
If we start living like weíll never die
What we lost we can find, if we try

We had it all for so long
Wish you were still here today
I thought we were too strong
Just to throw it all away

It feels so good when weíre together,
When youíre next to me, i could lay here forever
Itís like living in a dream
Are you still mine, or is it just me?

I donít want to start again from scratch
You know you were always my biggest catch
When i was lost with no one in sight
You were always there to guide me, you were my light

It feels so good when weíre together
When youíre next to me, I could lay here forever
Itís like living in a dream
Are you still mine, or is it just me?

Give me a sign that your still mine
That Iím not in this alone
Iím not ready to say goodbye
You know i canít stand to be on my own

Can we pretend everything's alright
Can we try to make it right, again

It feels so good when weíre together,
When youíre next to me, i could lay here forever
It's like living in a dream
Are you still mine, or is it just me?

© Jůn řůr Sigmundsson

Last edited by jonthorsigmunds : 01-13-2013 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 01-13-2013, 08:25 PM   #2
mr.retard
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I really like this. especially

"Give me a sign that your still mine
That Iím not in this alone
Iím not ready to say goodbye
You know i canít stand to be on my own"

i don't really like the line "Can we build castles in the sky" this may be a stupid question but what does that mean. maybe if i understood i would like that line.

i really like this. there are so many good lines. it's a solid piece of work. thanks for sharing.
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:35 AM   #3
jonthorsigmunds
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.******
I really like this. especially

"Give me a sign that your still mine
That Iím not in this alone
Iím not ready to say goodbye
You know i canít stand to be on my own"

i don't really like the line "Can we build castles in the sky" this may be a stupid question but what does that mean. maybe if i understood i would like that line.

i really like this. there are so many good lines. it's a solid piece of work. thanks for sharing.


Thank you for your response

The part you liked is the bridge and I agree, I really like that part too!

To explain the line you disliked, I guess it was basically to support the first line. That was one of the lines we kept from the original structure. Let me try and explain:
Can we pretend everything's alright? - Self explained
Can we build castles in the sky? - Building castles in the sky is somewhat of a metaphor for something that's not real... If they pretend everything's alright, they are believing in something that isn't real.

Do you get where I'm going?

-Jon
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:13 AM   #4
RecnepsDaGreat
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I think that this song has potential! Please share the finished song as well!
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:01 AM   #5
jonthorsigmunds
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RecnepsDaGreat
I think that this song has potential! Please share the finished song as well!


Thank you!
It was written for a songwriting contest and we will probably record it soon. I will be sure to share it if we do!
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:39 PM   #6
mr.retard
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonthorsigmunds

Do you get where I'm going?

-Jon


I do now. Thanks for explaining. You have a great song.
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:59 PM   #7
jonthorsigmunds
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr.******
I do now. Thanks for explaining. You have a great song.


Great Thank you for the feedback!
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:28 AM   #8
BjarnedeGraaf
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seems like a solid song I hope you dont turn it into metalcore or ska or country or anything like that haha. would be a shame to not like a song with these kind of lyrics
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Old 01-15-2013, 04:18 PM   #9
jonthorsigmunds
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
seems like a solid song I hope you dont turn it into metalcore or ska or country or anything like that haha. would be a shame to not like a song with these kind of lyrics


Don't worry, I won't ruin it :P
It's written as an acoustic song so no core there
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:40 PM   #10
AngryGoldfish
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Please give the rules a quick read through regarding bumping and thread titles. I've edited this for you.
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Old 01-19-2013, 05:12 PM   #11
jonthorsigmunds
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngryGoldfish
Please give the rules a quick read through regarding bumping and thread titles. I've edited this for you.


Sorry 'bout that, read the rules and deleted the bump. Thanks for changing thread name
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