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Old 01-20-2013, 10:01 AM   #1
Bleed Away
th.
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: the alley at dawn
Rest

There are no more sentiments beneath my sleeves,
they died with me in isolation. All that remains
is the detritus of unfinished hymns;
no obituary to speak off. Meaningless thoughts,
trivial mercies, and forgotten friends
canít follow me here: rest.
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:11 PM   #2
unicornicopia
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This was really good, I thought.

I've got a habit of being partial to anything shorter, though. The more you can say with less.
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:17 PM   #3
culex-knight
mon titre d'utilisateur
 
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Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
Vedy gud. But I don't think I feel your line breaks.
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:17 PM   #4
#1 synth
Weeow!
 
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agreed about the line breaks. agreed about the goodness.
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Old 01-24-2013, 01:29 PM   #5
Bleed Away
th.
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: the alley at dawn
Thanks for reading guys. I think this may have said what I have been trying to say for the past 6 months.
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Old 01-24-2013, 06:39 PM   #6
Dregen
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Location: hell
i liked this, and don't see everybody's quips with the line breaks. looks fine to me.
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Old 01-28-2013, 12:53 AM   #7
seventh_angel
So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
 
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I agree with the line breaks, but I also read this and it felt like the culmination of your last writings. This was so good.
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Old 01-28-2013, 02:36 AM   #8
jaybearch
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I loved the different sort of beauty you gave to being tired. wonderful.
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