edmodo23

I wrote this song for my post-hardcore band "A Scarlett Goodbye", its about a girl, so enjoy..

As I slash my wrists, the blood squirts in my eyes
All because she said goodbye
I cut my throat, and say so long
You'll all be sorry when I'm gone

And now it's all gonna end
My knife is my only friend
And I know what I'll do to you with this knife
But first I'll do whats right, cuz thats my life

This is the last you'll hear from me
You'll find me in my room bleeding violently

So take this knive and cut my throat into pieces
As her tears run dry and freeze like snow
The darkness surrounds me, I start to fall
But I can't see where I'm going
**** me

I cant believe what she did to me that stupid bitch
I'll slash my wrists and cut them into pieces as the blood squirts in my mouth
And I feel the pain, and feel the strain
As I look at our photos and let the memories roll

And now I cant stop crying
I think I'm dying (X8)

So take this knive and cut my throat into pieces
As her tears run dry and freeze like snow
The darkness surrounds me, I start to fall
But I can't see where I'm going
**** me

I cant stop slitting my body
I walk outside and the blood freezes
I collapse and say goodbye
As I close my eyes for the last time..

W4RP1G

I remember when I was 15...

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edmodo23

Thats funny, cause i'm 15 XD

MH400

I came here to post that.




Cliche. So cliche that it hurts to read.

Mate, when you hit 18, you'll look back at this and laugh. I've done the exact same thing - wrote songs like this at your age and thought they were awesome. So has everyone else. Trust me, you will look back and think "What the hell "

But yeah, as for crit? Typical early teen "I'm so dark" etc etc.

zgr0826

Everything this man said.

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By the light of the moon

You must escape into the deep black of the night

Fight the devil inside

Dosed + Me

#1 synth

poem experiment:
take one image, even one in this, and write a song/poem solely about that image. describe it. whose around, what are the senses picking up, etc.

then come back to this and see if you can plug that kind of singular wholeness and narrative into it.

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edmodo23

What is that?

yoman297

a facepalm so hard that it went through his head

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macaroni

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooooooo oooo

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JimiJamesThe2nd

It's typical teenage whinery.

You should definitely pursue it, though. Make the ever loving shit out of that whiney song. Write three dozen more after that, too. It's necessary for your development as a writer. We all had a phase like that, for the most part.

Gun for it, homeboy.

PSNbridgy

scare the old folk this would at least

LadyHellraiser

Honey, no need to slash your wrists. Or listen/contribute to making music like that.

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21wickwing

Don't take any of this to heart man. Everybody sucks when they start out. I read like my first 30 poems and they were all crap.

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-C4C-
Spring
Dusk
The Story Of Tommy Jones
The Story Of Timmy Fenn

kindadumb

I was hoping this was satire.

simran23

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21wickwing

__________________
Lion King has the best movie soundtrack of all time.

-C4C-
Spring
Dusk
The Story Of Tommy Jones
The Story Of Timmy Fenn