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Old 01-28-2016, 01:21 AM   #9001
couchdweller
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 20Tigers
She doesn't get on with her family and has one good friend left. If she told the story three different ways as to how it went down and the version you got was the only one that sounded like rape then I would be worried about the manipulation factor.

Cutting is not a sign of a healthy mind, make sure she doesn't refuse to get help and develop an emotional dependency on you. Also if you make a reasonable attempt at trying and she refuses then maybe just walk away. I believe in helping people but not in becoming an emotional vampires bloodbag, so if you find her draining you...walk away.


Couldn't agree more, the last bit of a 5 year relationship I was in turned out like that at the very end and I lost myself down a rabbit hole with that woman, promised myself i'd never let it happen again, so if i feel it again i'm just going to turn around. Me and this new girl really have a lot in common.
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Old 01-28-2016, 03:13 AM   #9002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by couchdweller
Thanks guys, I concur on trying to be there and help her through it. 20Tiger's its funny you should mention the latter scenario of underplayed willingness/consent, I actually noticed she gave me and her friends 3 different stories about how it actually went down, where mine was more of a "I don't even know what happened". But immediately followed by "i'm sorry, I was being stupid". She's a very cautious woman so the fact that she'd let her self get driven home by him without the thought of "this could happen" crossing her mind is bogus to me, hah.

The guilt and need to even apologize tells me she probably wanted to do it, which is kind of a blow to the chest :/ But I can see why she'd say it that way to me, she doesn't get along with her family at all, and yet she's living with her 2 sisters and mother in a 2 bedroom apartment, has some social anxieties, has only one good friend left besides me.

I'm going to do my best to swallow my pride, be her friend and try to make sure she gets help, after all more than likely it's no one's fault it happened. Being calm about it has been extremely difficult considering all the different directions i'm being pulled emotionally. I appreciate the feedback from both of you guys.


I'd stop worrying about whether she's telling the truth. Anyone who has potentially gone through rape will not act in a cookie cutter way, or through normal expectation. Have her seek out help, and then let her go through the motions.

Anything else is extremely insignificant, as you being lied to isn't something that should be on your mind. Take care of that after. Way after.
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Old 01-28-2016, 10:38 PM   #9003
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Well it's been resolved so to speak, we're both taking a social hiatus, so we can go back to being friends in the future, getting rid of all the touchy feels, hah. She's getting checked out by a doctor and I suggested she take a little bit of therapy. Its up to her now.
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Old 02-02-2016, 07:44 AM   #9004
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I'm currently working as a summer intern (southern hemisphere, whaaat) and I think I'm developing feelings for one of them. She's a year below me but she's pretty cool. We're both always rostered on the same days so we tend run into each other often. Internship finishes in about 2 weeks, but we take the same course at the same school (although she is a year younger.)

Would it be cool to ask out a co-intern or would that be awk because we working together
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Old 02-02-2016, 08:38 AM   #9005
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Sure it would, treat her like a gentleman, don't shit where you sleep (coz they don't like that at all), and you should be fine. Just be aware if she rejects you you will have to live with it and trust yourself you can still act around her in a professional manner.

Good luck.
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Old 02-02-2016, 09:12 AM   #9006
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Could have a potential date on Friday, just waiting for the other to get back to me (They've not been on Skype for a couple of days and I don't have a phone right now, which makes this tricky)

Here's hoping. She seemed really keen, so that's always a plus!
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Old 02-09-2016, 03:58 AM   #9007
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So after all the shit that went on with that last person I mentioned in this thread I've now moved on to someone else after a bunch of shit went down. I started talking to a friend about it and she was really helpful. Now I'm starting to crush on her a bit so then I starting telling my OTHER friend about my new crush because I don't know if I'm moving on too fast or what and she starts sounding pretty jealous. She said shit like "Did you ever fall for me?" "I know you liked me" "I guess I'm not really cute or sweet am I?" "Maybe they like a nice cute boy who wants to be andro with them and not just you" She tries playing it off later as if she was "joking". Meanwhile the girl I like is a decent artist with a decent follow and thus gets a bunch of really horny/desperate people trying to gain her affections which kinda makes me feel insecure/unconfident. This is really vexing and I don't know how I should deal with this shit.
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Old 02-11-2016, 01:12 PM   #9008
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Hi all, so feeling a bit low atm; doing the nofap thing as well, so I guess that contributes to it.
So I wanted to know if that connection you feel when you meet a girl is something that is natural and just happens, or is it something that you can 'work on' or 'make happen'? Because there's this girl in my class who I met this week that I really like and find really attractive; I've spoke to her a few times and sometimes it's been fun, but it doesn't feel like it 'clicks' between us. My question is wether I can change this, or if this is just how it is and that she's just not that into me?

Thanks
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