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Old 09-12-2013, 11:51 PM   #1
Rachidj
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Pot Original metalcore song - Need some feedback!

Hello guys!

I've been sitting down at home writing a tune for a couple of days now and I have finished the structure and general idea of how the song should be. But.. I feel like there is something missing. I would appreciate if some of you folks listened to the song so I can receive some constructive criticism and make the song even better.


Below is the link to my soundcloud and the song I would like you to listen to is "No name yet"
It's not mixed yet, the only thing i've done to the track is to EQ the Snare and Bass drum. The track is also a little sloppy at some parts but it's just in the pre-production state!

https://soundcloud.com/rachidjijih/...et-rachid-jijih

Greetings from Sweden!

Last edited by Rachidj : 09-14-2013 at 09:51 AM. Reason: Link broken
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Old 09-14-2013, 09:51 AM   #2
Rachidj
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Anyone?
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Old 09-14-2013, 02:46 PM   #3
Eternalwhisper1
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Hey man. Nice job so far.

Reminds me of bands like Woe of tyrants, August burns red, As I lay dying, and
what not. Kinda hint of Dream theater in some of the low riffing.



I would love to hear the finished result.

Hmmm constructive crit..

I'd have to say Is that I felt the solo started a little late.
Maybe I'm just weird. It sounds good. Guess I was just expecting it to come in
a little bit before it actually did.

Besides that I like the sliding note that it ends with.
It'd be cool to hear a harmony there.
Like after a certain number of times by itself.

I guess more importantly then anything though is to keep playing good!
You sounded like you had good form when playing.
I'd keep that sound.

I always strive to play as best I can or I re-do it like a thousand times .-.

Anyways man hope this helps! I like it though.
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Old 09-14-2013, 03:48 PM   #4
Rachidj
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternalwhisper1
Hey man. Nice job so far.

Reminds me of bands like Woe of tyrants, August burns red, As I lay dying, and
what not. Kinda hint of Dream theater in some of the low riffing.



I would love to hear the finished result.

Hmmm constructive crit..

I'd have to say Is that I felt the solo started a little late.
Maybe I'm just weird. It sounds good. Guess I was just expecting it to come in
a little bit before it actually did.

Besides that I like the sliding note that it ends with.
It'd be cool to hear a harmony there.
Like after a certain number of times by itself.

I guess more importantly then anything though is to keep playing good!
You sounded like you had good form when playing.
I'd keep that sound.

I always strive to play as best I can or I re-do it like a thousand times .-.

Anyways man hope this helps! I like it though.


Hi Eternalwhisper!

I'm glad you liked it. I actually listen a little to ABR so i'm probably a little inspired by them. I think the breakdown is a little ABRish. I will record the song with bass and vocals as soon as possible! I will also mix the whole song so it sounds better.

Where do you think the solo should have started? Adding a harmony sounds like a great idea actually. Maybe let it run through the first part of the chorus also?

Thank you for taking a moment to give me some tips I appreciate it!

Regards,

Rachid
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Old 09-24-2013, 03:45 PM   #5
Rachidj
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bump
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Old 09-24-2013, 05:02 PM   #6
deidara10127
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Old 09-24-2013, 05:06 PM   #7
Rachidj
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Dickitydickbuttbutt?
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:11 PM   #8
Cavalcade
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Do you want mixing suggestions, since, like you said, you haven't got there yet? Either way, here's my thoughts on the music:
The lead at the beginning makes a good hook, but you've got to switch it up a bit. Maybe every fourth or eighth bar, just jam off the bar before it to make a fill.
0:54- reprising that chug riff with chord progressions to make a prechorus. Nice. Nothing mind-blowing, but it's just what that part needs.
1:10- a different lead, also a good idea, especially since the chorus lead is kind of repetitive
1:23- Incoming breakdown! Get ready to fight invisible ninjas and-
1:36- oh. Okay then. Your lead is a bit ahead of the beat at 1:46; work on the timing. And the tremolo part after it is too repetitive; maybe play it twice, then do something else? Doing it twice, then launching into a 16th-note run for a bar would sound great.
2:10- The descending pattern just feels wrong to me for some reason I can't really explain. Maybe switching it to pentatonic would help?
The drum programming sounds great.
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Old 09-24-2013, 06:23 PM   #9
deidara10127
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Originally Posted by Rachidj
Dickitydickbuttbutt?


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