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Old 12-13-2013, 10:45 PM   #1
BigOneEye
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New here! Some death/prog metal for ya :)

Hi, I'm new to the forum. Well I think I used to be a member; probably still am, but thought I would reincarnate.

I'm just looking for some constructive critique on my compositions, none of which are finished but give a good idea of where they might end up. Thanks in advance for any opinions.

Here's what I'm thinking.
Hitchslap: Spawn of Possession influenced death metal. Not too sure about some of the first half.

Reactivation: Thinking of changing the music box intro.

Menacing Mushrooms: A work in progress.

Solo Section: I like the way the guitars swap solo time from speaker to speaker.

Here's the metal:
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 BigOneEye - Hitchslap.gp5 (85.6 KB, 221 views)
File Type: gp5 Big One Eye - Menacing Mushrooms.gp5 (21.8 KB, 105 views)
File Type: gp5 Big One Eye - Reactivation.gp5 (123.2 KB, 175 views)
File Type: gp5 Big One Eye - Solo Section.gp5 (12.2 KB, 89 views)
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Old 12-14-2013, 05:19 AM   #2
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Reactivation and Hitchslap are like, the 2 most well written pieces I've seen on here.

RedDeath, Tarbosh, you've been replaced
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Old 12-14-2013, 07:10 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EpiExplorer
Reactivation and Hitchslap are like, the 2 most well written pieces I've seen on here.

RedDeath, Tarbosh, you've been replaced


Thanks very much :P

I need/forgot to take a section out of Reactivation which repeated an unessesary one extra time. I also forgot to say it sounds a bit like Blotted Science.

I'll also be modifying the intro to Hitchslap.

Last edited by BigOneEye : 12-14-2013 at 07:17 AM.
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Old 12-14-2013, 09:48 AM   #4
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sounds like ron jarzombek or something.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:25 PM   #5
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I think I may have been learning and tabbing out Synaptic Plasticity by Blotted Science at the time of writing Reactivation.
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Old 12-16-2013, 04:38 PM   #6
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Man this is shweet... I wish I could write metal this complex!

As Ometh would tell you, my Metal composition skills are rather lax xD
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Old 12-16-2013, 08:58 PM   #7
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**** this is so good.
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Old 12-23-2013, 06:07 PM   #8
BigOneEye
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Thanks peeps. I had a go at recording Hitchslap for real the other day, but the drums came out terribly; so weak! Even though they were done with Superior Drummer. I might have another go and post it up, if anyone's interested.
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Old 12-27-2013, 05:05 PM   #9
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Damn, those are some masterpieces right there (all of them) good job bro

And yeah I would be intersted in the recording of Hitchslap!
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Old 12-27-2013, 06:58 PM   #10
JazzDeath
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Hitchslap reminds me a lot of Obscura meets Spawn of Possession. I dig it, pretty good weedly deedly death metal.

If I had one criticism the part that starts at 66 with the triplets starts to sound really muddy in the interplay between guitars and drums and it's more confusing to the ear than anything else.

You got some unpleasant clashing with your lead at bar 93 also, you might want to give your lead line a closer look to work out a couple notes in there better.

Energy and flow wise your songwriting has potential though, keep it up.

Very dense and busy music, right up my alley. Welcome to the forums! Not as alive as it used to be but you might find some stuff you like.
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:28 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JazzDeath
Hitchslap reminds me a lot of Obscura meets Spawn of Possession. I dig it, pretty good weedly deedly death metal.


Thanks, Noctambulant is possibly my favourite death metal record. Haven't really gotten into their latest one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JazzDeath
If I had one criticism the part that starts at 66 with the triplets starts to sound really muddy in the interplay between guitars and drums and it's more confusing to the ear than anything else.


I think I understand what you mean. I've now palm muted the open strings in the right hand guitar playing the triplets, and complemented them with triplet double bass drums.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JazzDeath
You got some unpleasant clashing with your lead at bar 93 also, you might want to give your lead line a closer look to work out a couple notes in there better.


Yeah I agree, definitely a duff note in there that I didn't notice!

Here's the original recorded take of Hitchslap. It's the diet version as it was just a quick test, hence the poor mix. I also left out the intro, and improvised the second solo. I don't know what happened to the drums; the toms disappeared!

https://soundcloud.com/reuben-jones-1/hitchslap

I'm not too happy with the mode in which this was written, pretty sure it's some derivation of the Andalusion progression (used in Flamenco), I think, which you seem to hear a lot of in death metal.

Last edited by BigOneEye : 12-31-2013 at 06:29 PM.
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:44 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigOneEye

Oh no you didn't.
My main complaint is that the mix doesn't leave the bass any room. Since you're going for contrapuntal, neoclassical-type DM, the guitars and bass are all playing different lines, and it's important to hear all of them. Get a decent bass synth (or really, for a demo, MIDI bass from Guitar Pro would probably work), and put a high-pass filter on the guitars (100-200Hz) to get rid of the low-end mud and free up room for the bass. Everything else is better than you probably think it is, but the bass is really important in this type of music.
Oh, and welcome aboard.
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Old 01-05-2014, 10:27 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cavalcade
Oh no you didn't.
My main complaint is that the mix doesn't leave the bass any room. Since you're going for contrapuntal, neoclassical-type DM, the guitars and bass are all playing different lines, and it's important to hear all of them. Get a decent bass synth (or really, for a demo, MIDI bass from Guitar Pro would probably work), and put a high-pass filter on the guitars (100-200Hz) to get rid of the low-end mud and free up room for the bass. Everything else is better than you probably think it is, but the bass is really important in this type of music.
Oh, and welcome aboard.


Oh yes I did! :P

Yeah, that's what I was going for. I love all the interweaving guitar lines. I would have recorded the bass, but became fed up of doing the guitars.

I've recently started putting more time into recording, and have yet to learn the ins and outs of mixing. I agree, the guitars are rather muddy and bass-filled.

I'll be changing the guitar harmonies at 0:39, as they sound very naff and not very original.

Cheers.
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Old 01-08-2014, 02:04 PM   #14
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Heey there,

If you finished (continued) on menacing mushrooms please do say so ) I m in love with that song :O
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Old 01-08-2014, 09:10 PM   #15
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Please, record at least Reactivation!
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Old 01-09-2014, 07:52 AM   #16
BigOneEye
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Menacing Mushrooms, recorded a while back. Slightly shorter

I'll give Reactivation a go at some point in the future, maybe?

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Old 01-10-2014, 03:51 PM   #17
JazzDeath
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I decided to give Reactivation a listen too, so here goes.

I like the intro on rhodes but I really don't like the chromatic passage underneath it that the guitars are doing. It sounds better when the riff changes after the swell chord, but at the beginning I don't find the notes work very well with the lead, maybe you could add variation once every 2/4 measures also so that it's not always 4 note patterns and very repetitive.

That being said the drums you put underneath are very cool, I dig it.

I can see mega spastic ink influence in this, clearly :P.

The riff at 27 is badass. I love it.

35 is pretty cool with the interplay between drums and bass and the static lead of the guitars, I like that too.

43 is a cool mad tremolo section and adds some violence and direct attack to the song, I like it even in its simplicity.

The riff at 75 is badass too, really my type of riffing. I dig it.


And the fact that you repeat it later and add an unusual harmony to it is really cool too.

I'm not really a huge fan of the solo personally. I feel like it's really a lot of small cut up sections and licks that don't particularly flow well into each other, some interesting, some not so much... I mean I like some parts of it, and some parts of it less, as a whole I just feel it says absolutely nothing, it has no story.

Take my opinion on solos with a grain of salt though, I'm of the opinion that solos should only be in songs when they're needed and lots of people disagree with me in metal .

The breakdown is interesting. The way you anticipate it by putting chords as leads on top of your previous riff is interesting, on guitar pro at the moment with distortion I don't particularly love it but I can hear that if you were to put an effect like a flanger on it and **** with the sound it could be a really cool rhythmic contrast.

The bass solo at 109 is 100 times better than the guitar solo for me <3 The two last notes on bar 112 seem to clash rhythmically with the three triplet guitar notes, might want to check that.


I'm really not sure about the key changes at the end, some are done much better than others.the lead on 113 sounds kind of off, after up to 115 it sounds fine, but the key change the first time measure 116 hits is pretty awkward.

I think the outro has potential to be gorgeous and very unique, I think you need to sit down and polish it a bit though. I do like the second interval let rings on your last chord though, very nice.

If you want to hear one of my pieces and comment or crit on it (c4c) here's a link http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1629733
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Old 01-13-2014, 11:24 PM   #18
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I'll get to critting this soon (been pretty busy the last week), but I just wanna say Hitchslap reminds me sooo much of SoP. One of the main riffs sounds like... Lash by Lash, I think? Anyways, this is pretty damn good stuff.
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Old 01-19-2014, 10:53 AM   #19
BigOneEye
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JazzDeath
I decided to give Reactivation a listen too, so here goes.

I like the intro on rhodes but I really don't like the chromatic passage underneath it that the guitars are doing. It sounds better when the riff changes after the swell chord, but at the beginning I don't find the notes work very well with the lead, maybe you could add variation once every 2/4 measures also so that it's not always 4 note patterns and very repetitive.

That being said the drums you put underneath are very cool, I dig it.


I definitely agree with ya buddy, I'm gonna rearrange the intro as I don't really like it either! I think it's a bit too repetitive.

Quote:
I can see mega spastic ink influence in this, clearly :P.


You got it


Quote:
I'm not really a huge fan of the solo personally. I feel like it's really a lot of small cut up sections and licks that don't particularly flow well into each other, some interesting, some not so much... I mean I like some parts of it, and some parts of it less, as a whole I just feel it says absolutely nothing, it has no story.


Yeah it could be improved. I like some bars, but others are just there for the sake of there being a solo.

Quote:
The breakdown is interesting. The way you anticipate it by putting chords as leads on top of your previous riff is interesting, on guitar pro at the moment with distortion I don't particularly love it but I can hear that if you were to put an effect like a flanger on it and **** with the sound it could be a really cool rhythmic contrast.


That part was meant to immitate a bouncy ball coming to rest after bouncing. I don't knkow why haha!

Quote:
The bass solo at 109 is 100 times better than the guitar solo for me <3 The two last notes on bar 112 seem to clash rhythmically with the three triplet guitar notes, might want to check that.


I'm really not sure about the key changes at the end, some are done much better than others.the lead on 113 sounds kind of off, after up to 115 it sounds fine, but the key change the first time measure 116 hits is pretty awkward.

I think the outro has potential to be gorgeous and very unique, I think you need to sit down and polish it a bit though. I do like the second interval let rings on your last chord though, very nice.


Cheers, yeah I like the end too. It was kinda hard to make the key changes from the 'breakdown', and it could do with a bit of adjustment.

Quote:
If you want to hear one of my pieces and comment or crit on it (c4c) here's a link http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1629733


I'll head on over!
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Old 03-22-2014, 04:24 PM   #20
RedDeath9
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Menacing Mushrooms is so damn cool. Bar 17 is so Spastik Ink it hurts (in a good way).

Intro of Hitchslap reminds me of Anata. I think it sounds a bit weird how the volume keeps resetting, though. Not sure if that's the best way to do that part. Okay, bar 11 sounds really similar to Lash by Lash. Maybe too similar.

Bar 93! It's been forever since I've heard this, but I remember this part! Strings at the end sound amazing.

Reactivation was so damn fun. Bar 79. **** me. The solo placement was pretty badass but the solo itself could probably be improved.

At 103, is that one crash supposed to be off?

Outro is pretty beautiful.
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