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Old 05-28-2014, 04:24 PM   #1
rushmore's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
" "

e l s i e

though I am not of any
metaphysical relevancy (to you),
I do wish to impart the
strangeness of being:

" "
Blog of my writing

Last edited by rushmore : 05-28-2014 at 04:31 PM.
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Old 05-28-2014, 05:38 PM   #2
vintage x metal
Brown-Thighed Girl
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Join Date: Sep 2006
how strange it is to be anything at all.

this is nice. your travels have come to you, yes?
Originally Posted by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist

e-married to
& alaskan_ninja

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Old 05-29-2014, 12:48 AM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2006
i marvel at how you can utilize brevity. when space is such a premium, you have a way of selecting nearly the perfect words to drive the poem along. it's really quite marvelous.

as always, a great read.
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Old 05-31-2014, 03:16 AM   #4
mon titre d'utilisateur
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
Don't know if I like the somewhat explicit "to you."

Otherwise, <3.

"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching
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Old 06-01-2014, 08:13 PM   #5
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
Originally Posted by culex-knight
Don't know if I like the somewhat explicit "to you."

Otherwise, <3.

I second this motion. I found it a little bit odd and unusual for you to include something a bit unnecessary as it would be assumed anyway. I can see how it might add some other direction by specifically saying you mean something to others somewhere else, maybe as a shot to her. I just think it is either over-thought or under-thought.

But yeah, great work on the poem
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