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Old 03-28-2013, 06:41 PM   #21
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: nowhere
Originally Posted by EpiExplorer
Also got some br00tal slahmz.

Will check this out for sure.

EDIT: You definitely nailed it with this song genre wise IMO. I wish I had the time for a proper crit, maybe later.
Originally Posted by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.

Last edited by Ometh : 03-28-2013 at 06:43 PM.
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Old 03-29-2013, 04:19 AM   #22
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Join Date: Apr 2011
@EpiExplorer: OK, I can finally get to this.

Like I said, the progressions are fantastic, melody is nice and calm (for now).

The (intro) triplet section reminds me of later Emperor, which I am enjoying as of now. My only recommendation for these sections are for you to take advantage of thematic development and start adding in some counter melodies and extra sections to allow these sections to develop.

Also, dotted triplet = note without triplet and dot.

Slams are pretty damn good but they feel very out of place. I think you have an over-abundance of ideas. What I would do now is split up the main ideas and start making multiple songs and develop these ideas. They need to go somewhere instead of this cyclic formula you have.

I also imagine some "The Faceless" vocals would suit this very well.

Overall, you have awesome ideas but they aren't developed enough to get anything out of them. My recommendation is for you to pull this piece apart and take the very different ideas/riffs/themes/progressions and start new pieces out of them. Think of the positives, you can probably milk half an album out of these ideas.

Seriously though, if you did this, you would (IMO) have one hell of an album on your hands.

Also, I might have a new piece on here soon. If I don't then you just received a free crit. Check back over the next couple of days and if there is something here then you owe me a crit. Sounds good to me.
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Old 04-06-2013, 05:56 PM   #23
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: BC
Alright, let's do this... I've heard this twice before, and actually had a bit of a crit written, but I decided to wait.

The intro is cool, and I love the way it suddenly transitions into the chaotic death metal bit. The synths are a really nice touch. I think I'm appreciating this a lot more, this time around.

Bar 29 is cool as fuck. Probably one of the best riffs I've heard on UG in a while. This is one of the parts that I actively recall about this song.

Ah, bar 38, too. I recall that that theme is repeated a few times, I really like it.

I also remember that my main qualm with the piece is that it doesn't go anywhere. While all the parts are cool, it doesn't build to anything. It just kind of happens, and then disappears. Of course, if that was your intention, it's all good.

Is bar 54 a reference to the intro?

At bar 76, I notice that you've gotten a little more restrained with your chords. That is good A lot of the unnecessary dissonance that was prevalent in your other songs is gone now.

Bars 95 and 99 are just awesome, loving the consonance in the middle of all that dissonance.

The transition into 117 makes no sense, and that part comes out of nowhere. This is the point at which I start giving up on the song. It seems like random part after random part.

The transition into 166 is good, though. If you decide to use 117, 166 would be very effective after it.

I'm seeing some hints of the "verse" and "chorus" in the outro. Pretty cool. The ending comes out of nowhere, though. As I said, by 117, I'm just getting lost within the song (and not in a good way). And the rest just sort of... happens.

I agree with what Hayden said. You might benefit if you developed your ideas a bit more and tread on them a bit longer, rather than quickly cycling through all of the material. This method never really allows for the development of tension over the whole duration of the piece. Rather, it all just sort of happens.

Your stuff is always cool to listen to, though.

This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time
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