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Old 04-27-2013, 05:17 PM   #1
Carmel
 
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Israel
WotW - i(ee)ma.

It was ten years ago, almost eleven,
when I, who strives to be a master of words,
lost my grasp on one.

I could tell its shape on my tongue,
its sounds made sense in my ears, yet
it did not belong to me any more.
It has melted away.

It was ten years ago, almost eleven,
when language first turned its back on me, left
me hanging.

And yet I still chose to try and tame it.

In the ten years and some months since,
I have crafted a wall and a mountain,
I carved smiles, painted tears,
I drew breath. Both my lips and
my pen gently circled around it.

This word still eludes me, most stubbornly,
and I find myself using it only
in some borrowed fashions, and once,
just this miserable once,
in the title.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:22 PM   #2
24WildRovers
The Wild Hippy Rover
 
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Like most the work of yours I have read, this is absolutely fantastic. I never really have a critique against your work and this is not excepting
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:07 PM   #3
culex-knight
mon titre d'utilisateur
 
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Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
<3
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マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


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Old 04-30-2013, 12:12 AM   #4
#1 synth
Weeow!
 
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i feel closer to your poetry so much more as i get older

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Old 05-01-2013, 12:09 PM   #5
Carmel
 
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Thank you.
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Old 05-02-2013, 11:48 AM   #6
Dæmönika
Mortal Technique
 
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Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
As I was reading it, I thought there seemed to be a powerful emotion lacking, then the penultimate line came and made everything fit just right. Wonderful.
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Old 05-07-2013, 01:40 PM   #7
seventh_angel
So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
 
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I have been wondering if you still wrote and if you still lurked this place.

A joy to read!
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