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Old Yesterday, 07:38 PM   #8021
chev311e
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Quote:
Originally Posted by genghisgandhi
yeah that at least calls on a shared interest though. it's a bit different saying something like 'today the New York Times had a great article about the cost of petrol in Russia' or 'I had the best lasagna the other day'. like to me it just seems like a cry for attention, but the more I think about it the more I realize I do that sort of stuff with my friends so maybe not.


That's because that's boring lol you should atleast know her somewhat enough to know her interests and what you think would lead to a good conversation. At the end of the day though it usually comes down to one thing. If she's interested in you and genuinely likes you, then it doesn't really matter what you talk about as long as you are talking. You shouldn't be having to try so hard to keep her attention.
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Old Yesterday, 07:44 PM   #8022
genghisgandhi
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lasagna isn't boring

but yeah, I suppose if she's interested it really doesn't matter what you say.
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Old Yesterday, 07:44 PM   #8023
BjarnedeGraaf
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it's not that I have to try to get her attention. she always replies back (and if she doesn't she even apologizes for the time it took, which is totally not needed, but hey)
It's just annoying that I can't even come up with interesting stuff. it makes me feel like I have a very boring personality.
The fact that I have to ask stuff like this on this forum, that anyone else would just come up with kind of upsets me.

Whenever I'm finally getting close to someone it seems like I get real anxious about the posibility of them leaving me, if that makes sence. thus i'm trying to do anything it takes to make things interesting.
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Old Yesterday, 11:47 PM   #8024
superunknown
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Quote:
Originally Posted by genghisgandhi
yeah that at least calls on a shared interest though. it's a bit different saying something like 'today the New York Times had a great article about the cost of petrol in Russia' or 'I had the best lasagna the other day'. like to me it just seems like a cry for attention, but the more I think about it the more I realize I do that sort of stuff with my friends so maybe not.



isnt that the point?

The idea is to say what you need to say in order to spark up a conversation so in the literal sense, any interaction with someone you are trying to attract is a cry for attention and that is how it should be.

Honestly I think one of the best ways to get to know someone is to just blurt something out and see where it goes. If you try to talk to someone and all they can think about is how you are soooo desperate for their attention, that is on them, not you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BjarnedeGraaf
it's not that I have to try to get her attention. she always replies back (and if she doesn't she even apologizes for the time it took, which is totally not needed, but hey)
It's just annoying that I can't even come up with interesting stuff. it makes me feel like I have a very boring personality.
The fact that I have to ask stuff like this on this forum, that anyone else would just come up with kind of upsets me.

Whenever I'm finally getting close to someone it seems like I get real anxious about the posibility of them leaving me, if that makes sence. thus i'm trying to do anything it takes to make things interesting.



OK you've given me tons of advice here so I'm going to try my hand now

First of all, the fact that she is even talking to you proves that she is interested in keeping in touch.

I used to be terrible with getting-to-know-you conversation, but then I realized something: a conversation goes two ways. Just as one party should be able to ask questions and get to know someone that way, they should be able to respond to a statement and keep things moving. If she is not trying to liven up the conversation herself, then maybe that is just her personality and she is content with talking to you like that. By no means am i saying that you shouldn't try to spice things up though, because that is always a good idea and I fully support it.

Honestly though, I wouldn't worry about it too much because women are picky and if she didn't want to keep in touch then she wouldn't. Even the fact that she apologizes when she takes a while to text you back tells me that she doesn't want to give the impression that she isn't interested.

I don't know the back story, so how long have you two been talking, and have you asked her out?
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Last edited by superunknown : Yesterday at 11:50 PM.
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Old Today, 01:03 AM   #8025
Acϵ♠
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Quote:
Originally Posted by genghisgandhi
this to me seems so phony. like it's so transparent what you're doing.


Having a conversation?
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