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Old 09-30-2013, 01:58 PM   #21
Cavalcade
Days, I feel it...
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ometh
You're doing it wrong then. This sounds more similar to Slam Death/Deathcore than anything else, and a bad band at that. You need to be more upbeat and use more melodies. Black Dahlia are heavily influenced by Gothenburg Melodeath, specially At The Gates' Slaughter Of The Soul, so expect to use alot of harmonic minor riffs and pedal riffs.

That.
Let's have a look at a good TBDM song.

What are the guitars doing? Mostly pedal-point riffs (that means switching back and forth between a low "pedal" note, and notes in a higher melody), with the low note shifting with the chord progressions. They switch it up with some fast harmonies as fills, to keep things interesting, so it doesn't sound like the same thing over and over for a minute and a half. The (fucking awesome) chorus is driven by a mid-range guitar lead, harmonized along the pentatonic scale. Two guitar parts for the lead and harmony, and a third for the chords.

The great thing about TBDM is that they're not pure melodeath or metalcore. They switch it up with some pure DM (and even black metal) influence from time to time. Like in what might be the only song on Ritual that's even better than Moonlight Equilibrium.

Stuff to watch out for:
*0:38- tremolo picked melody lines, backed up with chords in the other guitar
*0:51- the backup guitars switch to a simpler tremolo line with the root of the chords
*1:05- more pedal-point riffs
*1:47- thrash-style picking; fast rhythms with lots of gallops
*2:44- technical death metal; low-range riffs built around arpeggios, with lots of palm-muting

I don't hear any of that in your tab. Instead of putting riffs together note by note, listen to the bands you like and see what they do. Play along with their songs. And eventually it'll seep into your songwriting process, one way or another.
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Last edited by Cavalcade : 09-30-2013 at 02:09 PM.
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Old 09-30-2013, 02:17 PM   #22
CelestialGuitar
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Location: Birmingham, UK
Quote:
Originally Posted by mardisaaron
Also, what was the problem with the rhythm guitar?
Let's pretend the main riff that the entire song is based around, and it's awesome...would the second guitar parts be ok then?

There really wasn't a whole lot I could do to the main riff on a second guitar.

The more I read your guy's replies, I'm led to believe that the song sucks because my drum stem sucks. I don't write drum parts. I'm aware it's not very good. But if the guitar and bass was left as is, and the drum parts were in here the way my drummer actually plays, and tension was held and released and there were actual drum transitions, I feel like you guys wouldn't have hated it so much.


I actually added snare to your drum part before I gave my critique, so that the poor drums couldn't change my views. Never think that drums can carry your song and built tension and release it for you. Great drums can add so much to your song, however, the song needs to be there in the first place. Your guitars are very percussive, mostly being on one note and using staccato and palm muting, so the drums will lock into those rhythms, there may be fills and embellishments, but those rhythms will still be there. The song didn't really have any sections, there was, again, no contrast, no dynamics, nothing to tell you we were going into another section, and it just blurred into one. I've attempted to fix it slightly, see what you think.
Attached Files
File Type: gp5 New Blood Grinder Song.gp5 (25.0 KB, 29 views)
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Last edited by CelestialGuitar : 09-30-2013 at 02:44 PM.
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Old 10-07-2013, 03:56 PM   #23
Nemesis@Germany
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When I first started writing stuff with GP it sounded akin to this (although my hihats didn't always hit the 4/4 beat, haha).
But eh.. I didn't upload those files for others to take apart.
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Old 10-07-2013, 09:44 PM   #24
From Your Grave
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mardisaaron
I actually didn't write the main riff. Our drummer was the one who actually came up with the main melody, and I messed around with it and this is what I came up with.


OF COURSE it was the drummer's riff. It seems like every drummer that comes up with riffs comes up with something like this

Quote:
Originally Posted by mardisaaron
The more I read your guy's replies, I'm led to believe that the song sucks because my drum stem sucks.


Like Cavalcade said, good drums couldn't fix this. The problem is solely in the guitar parts. the problem with the rhythm guitar is it goes chugchugchugchugdoombadedum for every riff
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