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Old Yesterday, 07:27 PM   #6441
Acϵ♠
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamett91
Thanks for the advice guys. My main hang up with just ending things indefinitely is that I feel like blowing this up and possibly doing long term damage to this relationship might just not make sense at this point. She's going away for 3 months, we're not going to be together anyway, so possibly ruining any chance at working things out afterwards seems like a knee-jerk reaction to the short term situation.

Secondly, I also don't know if anything has happened between this other guy, other than that they hung out and she lied about it. Not a good sign I know, but nonetheless, I still don't know for sure. I do know that she wants to hook up with him (only because I read her texts to one of her friends saying she wants to **** him...wrong I know and I wish i hadn't read them but I did) but other than that I have no evidence that anything has happened between them.

My inclination right now is to wait until I know for sure that something has happened or not. I want to talk to her about it, ask her 1. if she's hooking up with him or just hanging out, 2.why she'd want to see other people if she loves me and 3. how can she say she loves me but that we can't be emotionally involved. If I do find out they're hooking up, then I'm pretty sure I'll have to break things off, because I cannot handle that. I'll ask her to choose who she wants in her life. But until then, just ride it out? I wish I could talk to her and clear somethings up, but since she doesn't want any drama/emotions, I know talking about it will just end up in another big fight.

Anyways, thanks again for the advice guys


Man.

In every possible scenario with her you lose.

You ask her those three questions of hers, and she lies and says whatever it is you want to hear. You lose.

You stay with her, you'll always doubt her fidelity. You lose.

You don't stay with her, she goes and ****s 17 guys in a week and you're sad. You lose.

You maintain this status quo and nothing changes. You lose.

You tell her to put it on hold for now and wait til that 3 months is over, she goes and has her way with whatever guy she wants while she knows you're waiting at home like a pathetic sack. YOU LOSE.

We call women like this sluts. I hope you know she is wilfully preying on your inability to stand up for yourself. she knows you'll take it and come back for more. As always im the asshole that has to lay it out here like this, but if you have any shred of self respect, any at all, get rid of her. She's toying with you and you dont even know it. she's scum. She doesn't deserve you. You're being taken full advantage of here.

You have one option. Ditch her and forget about having her in your life at all in the future--you DONT WANT her in your life.
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Originally Posted by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.
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Last edited by Acϵ♠ : Yesterday at 07:30 PM.
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Old Yesterday, 08:04 PM   #6442
megano28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamett91
Anyways, thanks again for the advice guys


1. Your self respect is more important than any individual.

2. Stop being pathetic and using ignorance as the thin string that holds it all together.

You want to be with her. Exclusively. She wants to be with you. And another guy. At least, for now. Your core wants do not match, it's as simple as that. How may times have you thought about her bending over/spreading her legs for the other guy? It stings, doesn't it? How betrayed do you feel that she's practically told you that she has the freedom to give herself to whomever she wants?

She could be an angel, an absolute 10. But she's not worth you demeaning your values to stay. You're being a pushover, and guess how much respect pushovers get? I know you're attached. I know you feel like you love her. Noticed how she started saying she loved you after the sex? It's hormonal, it's not sincere.

Love is something I define as altruistic affection. She's being selfish. It's as simple as that. There's no need to wait for 3 months. She doesn't love you now, she won't love you then. All you'll be is a woeful mass for the rest of the summer. Only to find, you're not someone she wants by then, when the hormonal traces are gone.

Be a man.

Edit: Ninja'd by Ace
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Last edited by megano28 : Yesterday at 08:06 PM.
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Old Today, 04:33 AM   #6443
ali.guitarkid7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acϵ♠
Most easily and often by hurting them. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but people are going to fantasize until you give them a reason not to.

I'm starting to think that yeah, this might be it. This is actually the reason I ask, since I know I'm gonna have to challenge the expectations they have and disappoint them, for some reason I can't get over the "disappoint them" bit.



Maybe I just don't want to lose the attachment or something. Or maybe I'm not acting out of self-interest and genuinely don't want to hurt someone but I dunno if I'm capable of that lol


It's weird cuz either I go with the flow and turn into a living sex toy to act out their fantasies (and get sex), or I walk away and keep my integrity as a human person, or I somehow challenge their idea of who I am and either have them **** off or stay and accept me. As much as I don't want to label myself as superficial I think it'll all depend on how attractive they are/how many degrees they have.
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Old Today, 04:59 AM   #6444
megano28
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The problem is your self esteem. If you find yourself that uninteresting and worthless, that showing your true colors is potentially that catastrophic, you'll always run into problems.

It's easier said than done, but what you need is a mirror and 30 minutes of conversation with yourself. You need to come to terms with who you are, and not what you wish you were. Many people go into denial, telling themselves that a couple pounds lost, or a different hairstyle and/or wardrobe would have them fulfill who they 'truly' are. The truth is that it's a mechanism to cope with who they are.

Once you own who you are, you'll find it much easier to stand up to projections from other women, because you've likely stopped projecting yourself. I won't guarantee you the 9s and 10s will fall out of the sky for you, but relationships are much more fulfilling when you're accepted. And so is the sex.
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Quote:
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Old Today, 06:36 AM   #6445
ali.guitarkid7
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Everything you said is true. I actually don't mind being insecure. I'm an attractive guy (a rapidly deteriorating quality), it's not like I'll run out of people who wanna have sex with me, so in that respect I'm not too worried.

It's kind of a different topic than sex cuz to me developing confidence is more about understanding others better. I used to think it was about telling yourself you're fantastic 30 times a day, but I think the more you understand other people (and just how insecure everyone really is), you won't feel as alien or weird or whatever. Surprise, surprise, you can relate. And then joke about it and complain about it and make chicken noises about it.

My core problem is that I'm lazy. It's as simple as that. I've never conditioned myself to find reward in hard work. That's what makes me lack skills, and in turn become frustrated with, judge and berate myself.

Not to get like too deep into this, but I've also never had someone to be honest with until recently. My parents' main parental tools were guilt and anger, so I've never really been conditioned to trust them with myself, since my 'self' provoked hostile/manipulative reactions.

The problem is that so far, I've never found a good way to deal with it. I have days where I just pick myself up and do what needs to be done, and others where I'm aware of the simple "pick yourself up" route, but just don't see the value in the reward itself. At that point, I have to argue with myself about why I want to do whatever it is I want to do.

So it's not really as simple as "getting 9s" as much as it's understanding what you want to represent as a human being.

Okay I think I typed up enough about myself for a day. It's obvious I don't need to be instructed to look in a mirror
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sickman411
We're all the best except for Ali.

Quote:
Originally Posted by deadsmileyface
yeah russia is pretty shit

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Originally Posted by Veronicuh
This is extremely serious.

Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 : Today at 06:39 AM.
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