Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 02-09-2013, 01:18 AM   #1
misfitsramones
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: canada
Behind Closed Doors

On the fourth floor, where they lay dormant and former; people no more.
Souls escaped, minds faded at rest in drawers.
Cold to touch, stiff with rigormortis but yet...
...names with meaning, marked on doors where people lay as they are stored.
Waiting to be at rest beneath our soles.
Some are children, parents, gunslingers and wh0res,
worthless and torn were rich and poor.
Some... young as four; older though are few, it is a tragedy to Me.
...I am the coroner, looking after the mourned,
keeping the peace as they lay behind closed doors.



..
__________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7nlgooa85M
Check out my song^ its acoustic. You're going to like it so just listen!


..
Has it ever come down to do or die
You've got to rise above the rest.
misfitsramones is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 01:53 PM   #2
ALsMistress
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
This looks like a very promising piece. I'm no expert at critiquing songs and I'm new here, so I'm probably not going to stick to the advice given on the rules thread...but I thought these lyrics were very powerful and very realistic. I'd love to see it extended a little and put into regular song form (Verse, Chorus, Verse, etc.) but that's up to you to decide I guess Anyway, nice work. Keep it up!
ALsMistress is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 09:11 PM   #3
misfitsramones
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: canada
Thanks. I was going for a poem not really a song or lyrics. This is probably as far as it will go. Glad you enjoyed it, always like to hear feed back.
__________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7nlgooa85M
Check out my song^ its acoustic. You're going to like it so just listen!


..
Has it ever come down to do or die
You've got to rise above the rest.
misfitsramones is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:43 PM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.