whywefight

this thread is soooooo 2006. I read like the first and last five pages and I didn't see one I hadn't heard or that stuck out to me for any reason

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The keeper of all things :3

LostLegion

What did the blind-deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.


Who visits little African children at night?

Death.

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REGGAE

Have a Peavey VYPYR?

Like Assassin's Creed?

Xbox - GamingFailure



LIVERPOOL F.C.

I have the least profile views on UG.

treborillusion

There were 3 men and a genie and a magic slide.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman...
The genie says to the 3 men
"Behold my magic slide, you just climb to the top, sit down, and as you go down, shout whatever your heart desires and you shall get it at the bottom."
The Englishman goes, alright...
"What have I got to loose?"
He climbs the slide, gets to the top, and goes down the slide saying
"Money!!!!!"
And at the bottom, lands in a huge pit of cash.
"Woo-hoo!" cried the Englishman.
The Scotsman sees this and runs up the slide, sits at the top, goes down the slide and says
"Gold!!!!"
and lands in a pit of gold at the bottom.
So the Irishman gets up to the top of the slide, sits down, and forgets that it's a magic slide and says
"Weeeeeeeeee!!!" going down the slide.
.. A big splash rudely met the Irishman at the bottom of the slide.

MrDo0m

A White guy, a Mexican guy, and a Black guy, all Americans, go on an expedition together to find a rumored genie's lamp inside some ancient ruins.

They find the lamp, and the genie says he will grant them three wishes, but only three wishes, so they all get just one wish each.

The Black guy goes first. He wishes, "I want Africa to be a rich and prosperous country, so all my brothas and sistas can live there!" His wish is granted.

The Mexican guy goes next. "I want Mexico to be a first-world country, and all my fellow Latinos and Latinas to live there in harmony!" His wish is granted.

Now the White guy's turn: "You mean to tell me that there are no more ****ers and sp*cs in America anymore? I think I'll wish for a Coke."

jonathan666666

The Boondock Saints. Right?

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FORZA CATANIA

MrDo0m

Ha, I actually just heard this one a long time ago from someone (years ago).

tortilla

A Rabbi, an Imam, and
a Priest are on a sinking
ship. The Imam says,
"We must save the children."
The Rabbi says, "Screw the
children." The Priest responds,
"Do we have time?"

A young girl turns to her
father and says, "Daddy
I have to go potty." The
father says, "Hold on,
sweetie, I'm busy." The
girl, insistently, restates
her need. The father
says, "Okay, I'll pull out."

"What do you do when your
wife is struggling to stay afoot?"

"What?"

"Shoot her again."

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Whenever the Will to Power, in no matter what form, begins to decline, a physiological retrogression, decadence always supervenes.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Tanglewoodguit

A little boy goes into his kitchen one day and says to his mum "Mum, Granny's got a prawn"
"What on earth do you mean?" the mother says.

The boy takes his mother and show her his granny, stark naked sleep on the sofa. He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says " Look granny's got a prawn!"

His mother whispers "That's your grandmothers clitoris son!"

To which the little boy replies......."Well it tastes like a prawn!"

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bifteksupernova

what kind of file do you use to turn a 15mm hole into a 50mm hole?
a pedophile


do you know why dr. pepper comes in a can?
cuz his wife died

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Last.fm So you can make fun of my taste in music
Youtube So you can make fun of my videos

MeTAL SOLDIER

Why did the girl fell of the swing?
cause she had no arms....


and why didn't his father catch her?
what father?

theogonia777

What do you call a Jew with one eye?
A kike-lops.

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To die without leaving a corpse... That is the way of us Garo.

Tranny Stuff (May 2nd) | Soundcloud | Now you have no excuse... | Just a thought...