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Old 06-25-2014, 07:24 AM   #7721
WibbleWobble
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I don't regret what I did, but I do regret how I did it.

That closes the door on Part One.
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Old 06-26-2014, 05:05 AM   #7722
Baby Joel
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I can't stop making the same mistakes over and over again. This stupid ****ing cycle just forever and I made it and kept it running. At this point I don't even know who I am. Am I actually this ay? Is this the way that my brain processes chemicals? Or did I just convince myself that this is how I am? I can't remember much of the good that's happened. Is it because there wasnt any or because I chose to forget? What's better, a legitimate, possibly medical reason for my misery, or a constant effort in keeping myself this way? I thought I was coming to terms with this but now I don't even know. I think part of me wants me to be miserable forever. Part of me wants to fail at everything I do and damage everything I touch, because at least that way, I'll have someone to blame when things never go right. At least that way there's someone I can hate. I don't want t be that way, but at this point, I don't know if I care enough to change. I'm scared that I'll take a bad step and I'll trip and fall and then just fall forever. What's better, to never know, or to fail in trying to reach it? I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. I don't know what answers are out there, or what questions even. I don't know of any purpose. How could I have gotten to this point? Did I choose it? I either chose it or I'm just like this, and both options are ****ed up.
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Old 06-26-2014, 07:07 PM   #7723
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Joel
I can't stop making the same mistakes over and over again. This stupid ****ing cycle just forever and I made it and kept it running. At this point I don't even know who I am. Am I actually this ay? Is this the way that my brain processes chemicals? Or did I just convince myself that this is how I am? I can't remember much of the good that's happened. Is it because there wasnt any or because I chose to forget? What's better, a legitimate, possibly medical reason for my misery, or a constant effort in keeping myself this way? I thought I was coming to terms with this but now I don't even know. I think part of me wants me to be miserable forever. Part of me wants to fail at everything I do and damage everything I touch, because at least that way, I'll have someone to blame when things never go right. At least that way there's someone I can hate. I don't want t be that way, but at this point, I don't know if I care enough to change. I'm scared that I'll take a bad step and I'll trip and fall and then just fall forever. What's better, to never know, or to fail in trying to reach it? I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. I don't know what answers are out there, or what questions even. I don't know of any purpose. How could I have gotten to this point? Did I choose it? I either chose it or I'm just like this, and both options are ****ed up.

Are... are you me?
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:34 PM   #7724
Somekid94
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I'm done here.

What's the most professional way to say, "See you in hell, asshole?"
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:57 PM   #7725
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I just realized how much I rely on different things just to feel like I can function. None of them are serious things, Monster Energy is probably the worst, but I shouldn't need 5 different things just to feel okay. I don't even know what okay is anymore. I'm always so ****ing busy with so many different goals and objectives that I can never slow down without help, and even then I can't slow down for long. I can't keep this up. It's scary.

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Originally Posted by Somekid94
I'm done here.

What's the most professional way to say, "See you in hell, asshole?"


Probably exactly how you said it.

If you don't need the reference for future jobs, don't worry about sounding professional. Just make sure you don't need the reference first.
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What the **** man? That's totally offensive. If someone chooses to identify as a bagel, they should be able to identify as a Goddamn bagel.
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Old 06-26-2014, 11:49 PM   #7726
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Originally Posted by ESPLTDV401DX
Are... are you me?

If I am, I'm sorry for you
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Old 06-26-2014, 11:52 PM   #7727
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Well, if we are each other, I certainly feel bad for you too
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Old 06-28-2014, 11:20 PM   #7728
Somekid94
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Everyone needs a hug in here.

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Old 06-30-2014, 03:32 AM   #7729
Baby Joel
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I don't want to do this anymore. I really really don't.
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:56 AM   #7730
RylanThePotato
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I've given up so many times that I don't even know why I'm still here anymore, existing only to leech off of others happiness and in the process making them feel as shitty as I do even though all I want is to finally feel human again and be happy

The only thing I consistently feel is shame, every night is a ****ing struggle cause I'm a different person every time I wake up. I only get a few moments of clarity where I feel real, every other time I'm not myself whether I'm unexplainably happy or randomly suicidal, and every time I get these moments of clarity all I feel is embarrassment because I know that that wasn't really me
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Old 07-06-2014, 12:26 AM   #7731
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Thumbs up

Walking around till 3am with your friends talking about anxiety and pop punk

I don't know how I'm gonna do this but please just once don't let me fuck my life up again

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Old 07-09-2014, 11:17 AM   #7732
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ESPLTDV401DX
Walking around till 3am with your friends talking about anxiety and pop punk

Enjoy it while it lasts: the older you get the fewer opportunities you have for it to happen
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Old 07-11-2014, 01:32 PM   #7733
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Alright, so I was gonna post in here that maybe a 70 year old lawyer that I met the other day is hitting on me but I didn't know because it seems so strange and right before I finished typing it out, he texted me if I had a boyfriend or girlfriend. So I guess that confirms it. I'm just gonna never speak to this guy again.
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:19 AM   #7734
Tag43
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i can't believe i did that. i'm such a fool.......

note to self: ALWAYS check pockets before jumping into the pool.

now im feeling sad and irresponsible. heres to hoping that it survives. fun story: one of my previous phones i left in my pocket and it got thrown in the washing machine. i remembered maybe halfway through the cycle, and threw the lid open and fished it out. it was a miracle that it turned on and still worked.
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You sir are filled with win.

Listen to my band's music. We're good, I promise.

One trick pony in a one horse town.
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:31 AM   #7735
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"I find it mighty strange, yeah, that nobody knows you, when you're down and out."

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Old 08-04-2014, 02:14 AM   #7736
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Shit. Shit. Shit. Why?
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Old 08-04-2014, 06:55 PM   #7737
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You're probably right, and even if you are it won't make anything you did more justified
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I hope it doesn't seem, like I'm young, foolish, and green.
Let me in for a minute, you're not my life but I want you in it


O Dayya, te echaré de menos, siempre

Y siempre

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Old 08-12-2014, 10:38 PM   #7738
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I've typed this out a few times without submitting it. Might as well just do it this time. Anywho:

I debated throwing this in here. I don't feel depressed or anything like that. Actually, I'm not entirely sure what that feels like. In 7th grade to around freshman year of high school I often felt pretty down in the dumps. But, way down there. Scraping the bottom of the barrel. I thought that was close to depressed, but I never wanted to admit that. Conversations with myself often went along the lines of, "I can't be depressed. I'm just some slacker who happens to be a bit sad. My life isn't worth anything. Yet. Possibly never. But, definitely not right now. I can't be depressed because I have nothing to be depressed about. You need value before you can worry about it. It's just low self-esteem you stupid asshole. Don't complain about dumb stuff like this."

Nowadays? I have a hard time describing myself. My most common thoughts are that I have low self esteem (still) and I probably have no hope for the future. There are days I sit and stare at a screen and think. I don't type anything. I don't talk to anyone else. I just sit. And stare.

I have a hard time opening up to people. I don't even know if I've told anyone that. I thought sharing funny stories and ideas would be enough. But, it isn't. I guess. At least, not to the three (probably more but I only remember these three specifically) people in the last year who told me I need to find someone I can actually talk to. One said they have known me for 5 years yet know nothing about me. Another said I close myself off and never actually offer anything about myself. And the last said something along the lines of me not ever being able to talk about my emotions or feelings.

The weird part is I like it like that. I don't really want anyone that far inside my head. It's my head goddamnit. But, I do want someone to talk to. I just don't know who I want to talk to.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:06 PM   #7739
Shotgunmerc
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Why do I just randomly have these days where I hate myself and everything I've ever done? This sucks.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fatlumpthe1st
What the **** man? That's totally offensive. If someone chooses to identify as a bagel, they should be able to identify as a Goddamn bagel.
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Old 08-13-2014, 12:41 AM   #7740
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It sucks that you are probably gonna get fired but I'm not gonna lie man

Seeing you total that golf cart was one of the funniest things I have ever seen
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