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Old 11-03-2012, 01:30 PM   #41
Nero Galon
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Just reading 20Tigers long post... He has the totally right idea of what would be a great idea but I think the way he worded it probably wouldn't get you far.

A version that everyone would be able to understand would be "Hey, sorry to interrupt you but i'm new here and I was just wondering if you knew anyone who played any band instruments... I would like to meet a few people who may be interested in playing together"

To say all that it would take around 12 seconds at most.

If they say no then just reply "OK no worries" or say something you would normally say in that situation to a family member. Its all about being comfortable.

If they say yes then say something like "Thanks, the thing is, i'm new here and I don't know anyone properly so could you point them out or tell me what they look like?"

And I really like what 20Tiger mentioned after that.
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Old 11-03-2012, 04:10 PM   #42
Hail
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it's really hard to stay against you 20T, you're too nice

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Originally Posted by 20Tigers
Oh and okay...Well I don't know about a debate. But what are your favourite openers, even better your favourite closers?


when you get into that, like the bit you wrote for TS, you're looking at scripts. there's just an invariable sense of that going awry. but i'm a pragmatist in everything i do. if someone does something that interests you, you start a conversation with them - man, woman, or otherwise. attracting people with common interests will lead to long-term stability, which lets you screw their slutty friends when they're drunk

but in general, just putting yourself out there and being confident will get you 90% of the way with most people. people are really easy to deal with, and if you go at meeting women to hook up with the same as meeting everyone, you'll get less casts but certainly a higher percentage of bites - and almost certainly higher quality.

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Do you recommend any literature? Have you read Neil Strauss aka Style?


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Originally Posted by Nero Galon
Just reading 20Tigers long post... He has the totally right idea of what would be a great idea but I think the way he worded it probably wouldn't get you far.


yeah, you want to keep it short, and don't be too scripted or you'll sound robotic. i had to ask for charity for work last month, and since most of my time was at a 1-man little tobacco/lottery/gas kiosk (shut up i'm in college), i had very little time to get the customers to donate anything before they drove off. when you're going up to random people for anything, you have to put yourself in their shoes and do your best to make sure they'll take you seriously and you don't waste their "precious" time.

Last edited by Hail : 11-03-2012 at 04:14 PM.
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Old 11-03-2012, 08:00 PM   #43
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Old 11-03-2012, 09:01 PM   #44
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Old 11-03-2012, 09:16 PM   #45
FireFromTheVoid
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I really liked the logic at the begining of the thread, (Solve problem with the result of fixing it) and skipping what he should actually do to fix it.
Throwing yourself out there IS good advise though, and is what I`d say to do.

Just be brave little lamb, you can do it.
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Old 11-04-2012, 07:51 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hail
it's really hard to stay against you 20T, you're too nice



when you get into that, like the bit you wrote for TS, you're looking at scripts. there's just an invariable sense of that going awry. but i'm a pragmatist in everything i do. if someone does something that interests you, you start a conversation with them - man, woman, or otherwise. attracting people with common interests will lead to long-term stability, which lets you screw their slutty friends when they're drunk

but in general, just putting yourself out there and being confident will get you 90% of the way with most people. people are really easy to deal with, and if you go at meeting women to hook up with the same as meeting everyone, you'll get less casts but certainly a higher percentage of bites - and almost certainly higher quality.
First off - given the dicsussion we have just had about that particular word I'm not sure if it is a compliment or an insult. But I like it either for it's flattery if it is the former or for it's wit if it's the latter.

I think in certain circumstances a script can be really helpful. Particularly for shy guys that are working on their first approach. the aim is to build confidence not make them reliant on a script which, I agree, will not work.

the script I gave could use some work. I rewrote a couple of lines and I was tired when I wrote it so didn't focus on how the new words affected the bigger picture and it doesn't flow particularly well. But the essence is there...

Get her attention then tell her something she will agree with (or ascribe an identity she would probably like to attribute to herself i,e, she looks like someone with good taste, someone that's pretty cool and knows what's going on, or even better - a good judge of character). Tell her you only have a few minutes but you need her help. Ask her if she could point out any musicians she knows and tell her why you need her answer - because you're a musician as well but you're new blah blah blah... If things go well and she gives you more than one name you might even ask her opinion on what they are like before asking her to point them out to you. Thank her and tell her maybe she can come to your first gig if you get something happening. Walk away feeling pretty good about yourself.

the idea is that the first statement gets agreeing with you and thinking positively about herself - she will be thinking "yes I am" even if she is too modest to say it out loud. It also signals to her that you need her help specifically and not just anybody will do. Whe will be more likely to help if she thinks she is specifically suited to the task. Telling her you only have a couple of minutes lets her know that you are not going to take up too much of her time. It's about setting her at ease. then ask your question and give a reason why she should help you. Apparently it has been proven that if you ask someone to do something and then say "because" they will be more likely to help you even if the actual reason you give is weak or meaningless.

there is method to my madness. Particularly in the end result. Not only have you found out who the musicians are at your school but you have made some female contacts at the school that will know you as "the new kid" (mysterious) and "a musician" a perfect storm for creating female intrigue and if you continue to work on your confidence over the coming months - well you're a freshman now, highschool will be your oyster.

TS: Do it bro do it do it. Once you do you will realize that can feel pretty good when you succeed and when you don't it's not really a big deal at all - in fact you can still feel good because you tried.

But do it. And smile too make eye contact walk tall speak clearly and loud enough so that she can hear you.

Do it!! Then come back and tell us how it went.
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