Go Back   UG Community @ Ultimate-Guitar.Com > Music > Songwriting & Lyrics
User Name  
Password
Search:

Reply
Old 08-08-2013, 05:53 PM   #1
ryan.bollinger.
Registered User
 
ryan.bollinger.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
untitled(wip)

Until the end
We do not mend
The pain that life does send

You can't hide
Or subside
No more time to bide

Take it now
Or take it never
Say goodbye forever

Ever clever
This last endeavor
As your ties now do sever
ryan.bollinger. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2013, 09:32 PM   #2
21wickwing
wick2107
 
21wickwing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
Everything here feels like it is forced into its structure. I think you should just write everything down and then compress it. Structure is still something I struggle with. However, it comes with practice. You will get it down eventually! Keep On Writing
__________________
-C4C-
Snap. Crackle. Pop.

Do you like poems?
Do you like Bow Ties?
Like my page!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Poem...474186376003952
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/poemsandbowties
21wickwing is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-10-2013, 12:18 AM   #3
ryan.bollinger.
Registered User
 
ryan.bollinger.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
For sure! I'll work on that. Thanks for the feedback
ryan.bollinger. is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:04 AM.

Forum Archives / About / Terms of Use / Advertise / Contact / Ultimate-Guitar.Com © 2014
Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.