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Old 03-03-2015, 05:55 PM   #4541
FrettieMercury
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Alzheimer's is insidious. I lost my grandmother that way, too. The only thing I can tell you, advice from a memory care nurse, is to laugh when you can.

Individuals with Alzheimer's will lose inhibitions much the way people who are drunk do, and sometimes they will say hilarious things, although it might be rude or inappropriate. You make the most of the time you've got, embrace it and laugh.

That helped us out somewhat.

Always remember who she was and don't expect her to be that way again. She is who she is now, and if she's lucid today, then great. Tell her you love her. Give her a hug.

If she says, "I love you, too," it might be the last time. Whatever stupid shit is happening in your life, your job, anything at all will just be crushed under the immeasurable weight of the fact that your grandmother is here, and able to hold your hand, or smile.

You have that, which is something.

And take time for yourself. It's not selfish. If you've had enough then leave if you can. Do something you enjoy. Have a drink if you're of age. Like in the little airplane thing, "place your own mask before placing it on your child." You have to make sure you're okay. Always keep that in mind.
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:22 PM   #4542
Wormholes
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I'm one of the best huggers to have ever lived, fact.
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Old 03-03-2015, 06:32 PM   #4543
T00DEEPBLUE
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Yeah, she sometimes does say things that are grossly inappropriate, but she was like that before the Alzheimer's began. She never caught onto the concept of political correctness. Not that she means harm to anyone though.

I don't want to think about the last time she says that she loves me. That is the greatest fear I've ever had, saying goodbye to the people I love, knowing that its the last time. I hate that more than death itself. Thinking about it makes me want to puke.

And I cannot afford to grieve right now. This is my final year of my final semester of my degree. If I grieve, it will completely disable me. My nan looked after me like a second mother in my childhood. My mum would take me to her house at least twice a week when she was busy with work, and my nan and I would spend an entire afternoon playing with only a handful of toys. We made the most of them though.

I remember when I was really young when I built a ship out of duplo blocks because I knew we would be going out on a ferry later that afternoon. I would play with a few toy aeroplanes and she would join in with me. She taught me the first card games I had ever learned, she took me out on walks all the time to the market. We planted tomatoes and blackberries in the greenhouse in the back garden, nearby the giant birch tree in the center of the field. And we napped on the swing chair if it was sunny outside.

They were humble activities, but they made a significant portion of my early childhood. They are a part of my identity. And the person I shared those moments with going away feels like a loss of that identity. I'm going to miss her so, so much. God it is so painful.

I need a hug.
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Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE : 03-03-2015 at 06:38 PM.
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Old 03-20-2015, 07:26 PM   #4544
Pastafarian96
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I won't explain my predicament because it's something I have to do myself, but I need a hug
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no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls
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Old 03-20-2015, 07:36 PM   #4545
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Old 04-24-2015, 02:08 AM   #4546
Pastafarian96
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The world around me is falling apart. I'm sick of doing the same thing everyday and being unable to vary it at all, my parents are fed up with me and I haven't got any friends.

I really, really need a hug right now
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no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

Last edited by Pastafarian96 : 04-24-2015 at 02:15 AM.
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Old 04-24-2015, 09:37 AM   #4547
DiminishedFifth
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I feel that man, I feel that.

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Old 05-04-2015, 02:03 PM   #4548
T00DEEPBLUE
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I know some of us are probably very, very busy and stressed out with coursework and exams, but I just want to wish good luck to whoever reads this and I hope that everything will go well for you.
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Old 05-04-2015, 04:09 PM   #4549
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So I've contemplated suicide twice over the span of two weeks. First one was a message I got, and I just kept spiraling down. Last one was this saturday, while visiting the girl I really like. Was told that she was pregnant, and later that evening everything came crashing down. She is funny, sexy as hell, and we both like gaming and watching movies, as well as thouroughly enjoying each others company and having a good friendship. All that changed for me on saturday. I feel completely lost, and thanks to a few friends I managed to get through saturday night, yesterday and today. Until this point. Now I'm down in the dumps, and I'm not sure how I can get out of them.

Even seeing her name hurts, but I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I feel angry at her. Someone else has done what I wanted to do for a year now. Why wait so long you may ask? Because she was in the middle of a divorce and custody trials, and I didn't want to do anything that could make things difficult for her and possibly jeopardize the outcome of the trial. So foolishly I waited, and in so doing spoiled my only chance at happiness.

If none of this makes any sense, it's because I've eaten 3 cookies and barely drunk anything at all today, so my brain is running on fumes. Add into the mix a 45 minute skate and 1 hour of judo, and you have an idea of where I am mentally right now. Sleeping is almost a no go, as I lay awake contemplating all the what ifs and things I could have done differently.

So if anyone feels like giving me a hug right now, it would be much appreciated, while I go to bed and may or may not leave it tomorrow.
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Old 10-20-2015, 10:32 PM   #4550
skylerjames13
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This thread died off. I hope things are better Johnnysd
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Old 10-20-2015, 10:59 PM   #4551
Pastafarian96
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yeah we all post here now

and yeah he's better to a point, made a post in there the other day.
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si accepero tempus ego dilexi vos

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no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls
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Old 10-21-2015, 02:51 PM   #4552
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I think I saw my girlfriend getting a drive home from another guy.
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Old 12-06-2015, 11:18 PM   #4553
chaoticfables
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agggghhhhh stressed af. between summer school, part-time job and an internship I barely have time to breathe. too tired to feel anything, even depression, which I know is waiting for me when I finish two of those things in the next 2 weeks. not sure why but my friends and i aren't talking or hanging out like we used to, and i'm so fucking lonely during the rare moments of downtime that i actually have.

therapist is identifying my problems without really providing solutions. frustrated.

thinking about taking up boxing next year to relieve this shittiness forreal
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:36 AM   #4554
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastafarian96 at #33368249
The world around me is falling apart. I'm sick of doing the same thing everyday and being unable to vary it at all, my parents are fed up with me and I haven't got any friends.

I really, really need a hug right now

I remember this



I hate that part of my life so much now

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Originally Posted by chaoticfables at #33717965
agggghhhhh stressed af. between summer school, part-time job and an internship I barely have time to breathe. too tired to feel anything, even depression, which I know is waiting for me when I finish two of those things in the next 2 weeks. not sure why but my friends and i aren't talking or hanging out like we used to, and i'm so fucking lonely during the rare moments of downtime that i actually have.

therapist is identifying my problems without really providing solutions. frustrated.

thinking about taking up boxing next year to relieve this shittiness forreal

__________________
si accepero tempus ego dilexi vos

Honoured friend of Harvey Swick

Fascinating stuff by me

A poem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

Last edited by Pastafarian96 : 12-07-2015 at 02:37 AM.
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Old 12-10-2015, 04:39 AM   #4555
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Can anybody help me how to quit pornography for life here?
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Old 12-10-2015, 06:52 AM   #4556
Pastafarian96
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help you directly? no

talk to you when you need a distraction? yes, definitely
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si accepero tempus ego dilexi vos

Honoured friend of Harvey Swick

Fascinating stuff by me

A poem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls
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Old 03-11-2016, 10:36 AM   #4557
genghisgandhi
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I just had a panic attack for no discernible reason on the day I've been looking forward to for a week. I always feel so shit after nights out, so worthless. Sam Cooke is helping
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