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Old 01-28-2013, 12:47 PM   #1
Wattsbo
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"Darwinian Nightmare" C4C/Crit for Crit

An instrumental from several years ago that I found on my computer. I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm thinking about rewriting this, and re- recording a new version. What are your thoughts? If I get some decent feedback I'll go ahead and redo this and post the new version per your suggestions. I'll crit you guys back, I promise!

https://soundcloud.com/wattsbo/darwinian-nightmare
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Old 01-29-2013, 05:25 PM   #2
Elvin Presler
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Very moody. I get a kind of dark, like Silent Hill vibe. I liked it. A couple of the ambient lead parts bordered on sounding sharp or shrill to me, but very cool over all.


Mine: http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1585456

Last edited by Elvin Presler : 01-30-2013 at 12:18 AM.
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Old 01-29-2013, 06:26 PM   #3
BloodReverence
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Get some hi-hat going with the drums, or if there is some, turn it up. It sounds really good though.
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Old 01-29-2013, 08:10 PM   #4
mattmakaha
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The sound quality of this version is solid as it is. I'm not so sure why you want to re-record it.
If anything, maybe bring up the drums a little, more specifically the hi hat. I don't know if you used a midi sync track with this or not, but if you did, it's easy to replace just the drum parts.
Overall, it's a solid track. Just curious, how many total guitar tracks/overdubs you used?
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Old 01-30-2013, 01:33 AM   #5
Smoke & Mirrors
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if you were to redo this i think it would be more worth your time if you were to:
1. remove some of the discontinuous parts
2. really nail every note
3. add another instrument for the whole song or section. Like bass guitar piano or mandolin
take the drums out of the first half before it starts rockin out and add hand percusscion like tambourine, wood blocks, egg shakers, or what ever you can band together pleasingly just about anything but a cowbell will work very well

enjoyed this piece completely,the only improvement i can see is just in production value.
if you did redo it to those specs or similar i'd love to hear it!

I'll take you up on your C4C
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1585529
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Old 01-30-2013, 07:51 AM   #6
White Python
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Didntīt find any major mistakes, everything played well. About the track, nice chilly melody thorought the song, as the track progresses more intensive and interesting it gets. Well done! Keep it up
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Old 01-30-2013, 10:30 AM   #7
DancesWithSheep
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What's up killer? Took a break from the ladies long enough for some studio time?

Like the intro.

Did the drummer not show up? Just kiddin' - but the drums are a bit buried for my perfect taste!

I think it's worth a re-write, the guys ahead of me have hit the points that I was pondering.

I like a song with feel, that's the hard part - and this one has feel. The rest is turning knobs!

Would appreciate a crit of my crap. This is a remix of one you've heard - or just hit the cloud and listen to "Doctor, Doctor."

Thanks, cat!

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1585515

DWS
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Old 01-30-2013, 02:22 PM   #8
Wattsbo
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Haha, DancesWithSheep, it's more like the ladies smartened up and took a break from me! I was hanging out with the girl I've been hanging out with the last few weeks, ran into an old friend -he was really intoxicated, making things extremely awkward. This made me nervous, since the guy tends to ruin things for everyone when he's not sober (I saw him fall out of a 2nd story window once). He said something making things REALLY uncomfortable, and in a nervous moment when he asked her name and to be introduced, I forgot her name! Been going out with her a month, and I just went blank from the uncomfortable situation, haha. I looked up at her, and her expression was "Well, you blew it!" Needless to say, that didn't go over well, and suddenly I have a lot more free time, lol. Oh well, haha

I do need to bring the drums up a bit, but I need to find the cubase file! I just found the mp3 of the finished song, but whenever I locate the source file I'll get in there and tweak it! If I can't find it, I'll keep working on a new version. And thanks for the detailed advice Smoke and Mirrors, and you too Matt, BloodRev and White Python, I'm actually experimenting with your suggestions on new draft version now!

Thank all of you for the kind words, and I'm working on critiquing you guys back now! I'll keep checking back on this throughout the next few days to see what anyone else has to say! thanks guys
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Old 01-30-2013, 04:40 PM   #9
DancesWithSheep
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wattsbo
Haha, DancesWithSheep, it's more like the ladies smartened up and took a break from me! I was hanging out with the girl I've been hanging out with the last few weeks, ran into an old friend -he was really intoxicated, making things extremely awkward. This made me nervous, since the guy tends to ruin things for everyone when he's not sober (I saw him fall out of a 2nd story window once). He said something making things REALLY uncomfortable, and in a nervous moment when he asked her name and to be introduced, I forgot her name! Been going out with her a month, and I just went blank from the uncomfortable situation, haha. I looked up at her, and her expression was "Well, you blew it!" Needless to say, that didn't go over well, and suddenly I have a lot more free time, lol. Oh well, haha



Ha! Great story! Forgot her name...priceless!

With friends like that guy who needs enemas...

Hope you feel better.

DWS
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Old 01-30-2013, 05:39 PM   #10
KevinFreund
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You should name the song "Forgot her Name" haha but I think it sounds pretty good. Others already pointed out the drums so I wont even go there. I don't think you need to redo the entire song if you can help it. How much cleaner/ better would you be able to get? That recording is pretty dran good and I don't know. Unless you're making major song changes why bother? Just my opinion. I think it sounds great the way it is!

c4c? http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1585633

Thanks Kevin
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Old 01-31-2013, 01:31 PM   #11
Wattsbo
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Thanks DWS, and no worries haha, I feel fine, but thank you! And I may actually do that Kevin, or at least make another song called that! "Forgot her name" is a pretty spiffy song title, and rings well with me haha. That seems like a good idea for a song, and if I ever learn to write lyrics that might be pretty fun! And I think I'm going to keep this version, and make another revised version as well. The main reason I wanted to redo it was that the version I posted is from 2 or 3 years ago at least. I can only find the mp3, but not the cubase file, so until I locate that I can't really tweak the drums.

A team of modders on ModDB modding for Half Life 2: Episode 2 asked me to help them with music for their mod and for a trailer, and said they liked this song but ended up requesting a modified version to fit their sci-fi setting, so I just made a shortened new version and left the old version up as well.

Looking at your link you posted now, thanks for the feedback and the kind words!
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:53 PM   #12
Vorkerman
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Digging the post rock vibes, some nice riffs maybe could have used some harmonic variations but a solid piece.
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