03-11-2013, 02:52 PM
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DT's Feminist Mom
Join Date: Sep 2006
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WotW: phone poems (I & II)
I.
the same light strained through cerulean sieve your veins, your eyes the sky, the sea scattered columns that line the insides of my cheeks blue raspberry tongue when I'm too shy to speak II. love is just sympathy, the overwhelming urge that makes beauty converge - a oneness found through the fingers and skull that muddies the details of corporeal world - two pairs of eyes can read all sets of tongues but once they are locked, everything only hums and the volume between them will quiver and crack until everything comes, until everyone comes.
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GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY
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03-12-2013, 12:06 AM
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Weeow!
Join Date: Mar 2006
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goddamn, you are so good. i think most people would say your strong point is your imagery. but i disagree. its your wonderful control of sonics and soft sounds that makes your poetry so readable and resonant.
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03-16-2013, 01:15 AM
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#3 |
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(objects) ocean.
Join Date: Jun 2009
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This was so good, Saadia. Dylan makes an interesting point. I've always thought of your poetry as very centered on imagery and that's usually what I notice first in it, but at least with this poem, the sonics took over and the imagery came after. I think it's a good thing. I hope you're doing well.
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03-16-2013, 10:30 AM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2013
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Very good job... i like your lyrics.. keep posting
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03-16-2013, 05:05 PM
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#5 |
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Full-time snail racer
Join Date: May 2006
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Fantastic writing. You have a wonderful flow, the first is just a joy to read. The start of the second wasn't as natural a read for me, the last five lines are lovely though.
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03-17-2013, 01:35 AM
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#6 |
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wick2107
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
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This was an amazing read. I was really absorbed by this.
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Lion King has the best movie soundtrack of all time. -C4C- Spring Dusk The Story Of Tommy Jones The Story Of Timmy Fenn |
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03-17-2013, 01:36 AM
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#7 | |||
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I Am Meee.... not an IT..
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Australia
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Friggin AwEsOmE
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If U dont Hav nottin Nice 2 say, say somfin else!! Quote:
Quote:
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03-23-2013, 11:43 AM
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#8 |
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DT's Feminist Mom
Join Date: Sep 2006
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thanks you so much everyone. I'm so happy these were enjoyed
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GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY
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03-27-2013, 03:59 AM
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#9 |
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mon titre d'utilisateur
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: In the bucket at the end of time.
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haven't posted here yet, but, as usual, these were really good.
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マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー じーんせいはっわんつー！ぱんち・・・ "Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching |
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04-02-2013, 07:34 PM
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#10 |
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So-Called New-Age(d) Poet
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Congrats Saadia. I agree with Dylan; at least for the past year you developed a very flowed rhythm that really stands out on your pieces.
Keep on sticking around.
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My Pieces Eh-bits Tandem There's Nothing As Silent As A Cry Forn Help Carpe Diem New one: One Step |
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