the_weirdoman

So, this is a song that started out as a few riffs I wrote when I was drunk and mopey and now its done ! with most(by most I mean abt 60%) of the tracks recorded sober ! Also theres no bass guitar in the mix.

Anyways, I'll be sure to C4C. Looking forward to ure responses !

http://soundcloud.com/clockwork-convulations/er

This is still a very rough mix and all I'm looking for is musical crit.

MaXiMuse

Private track? Because the link is not working

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the_weirdoman

Sorry abt that ! Yeah it was set to private. You can check it now

Commandantee

I assume this is the track you were trying to link .. I actually quite liked it, other than the super sterility of the mix. The riffing was pretty damn rad, it started off very pantera-ish and slowly worked its way to death metal, with a necrophagist-esque solo thrown in there which I quite liked. It flowed well, kept me interested and would make a good song if properly recorded and mixed. Good shit man, keep it up

Pond Scum

0 - .57 I thought were a bit slow could use something else maybe a background lead track?

.58-.59 nice change up

1.00 - 1,28 my favorite part needs more of this IMO

1.36 - 2.07 would be bad ass if you harmonized another guitar track in there...

2.08 - 2.24 kick ass licks I likey

2.26 - to the end I dunno i did get carpal tunnel though. Maybe another lead track here to round it out?

Overall I thought it could kick some ass!

Thanks for the crit!

aaron aardvark

the_weirdoman,
Playing is tight, good riffs. Yep, it needs some electric bass. Some cool guitar pitch bends. Drums are OK, but they'd sound better with the electric bass. You're off to a good start (assuming you'll do more with it). Please review my music at this link:

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1571779

Drummerrrrr?

Writing is very good. I think, production wise, playing could be a tad tighter. Guitars need to sit back so the drums can be brought out. Reallllllly needs bass but I understand if you don't have access to one. What I would recommend, though, is maybe looking up and purchasing the Zombass Kontakt instrument. That baby killsssss for programming bass. Just a thought. Top track, I'd be stoked!

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the_weirdoman

thanks all you guys for the feedback ! I don't think I can get it to be anymore tighter (1 year down the line and I'm still plagued by Redlight fever)

Hopefully once the mix is fully done, It'll sound much better. Till then, you're stuck listening to my crappy mix

FaceFive

Mostly criting mix here, would really need to hear how vocals fit in to judge the song properly but.

Cant really crit the mix either since its just a rough mix but the sounds..

Sounds like i'm hearing Ezdrummer and Pod Farm or something like that.

The Riffs are tight, I like that! I like the snare though what are you using for drums?

devilzdj4

Hey man, listening and writing:
Starts off pretty kickass man, great sound quality. Very Lamb of God (which I love!). you got some great ideas here man, impressive. I like that guitar dip and then into the new section, very cool and melodic. The ride here complements it well! Nice solo too! Overall good stuff man, when bass and vocals are added it would sound even more br00tz, you're very talented

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STONESHAKER

Hey man, listening now.

First riff's cool, definitely has a good structure to it and flows into the next bit well. I am assuming the vocals should be cutting in over the palm muted riff here. I can hear Phil Anselmo singing over this in my head.

Like the riff with the slur bend that follows too, and the stabbing dissonant harmonies. The harmonies that follow remind me a fair bit of something Kurt Ballou would do on earlier Converge records.

Solo kicking in at the two minute mark is good, sensing a strong thrash influence... too short though.

Tremolo part around 3 minutes in is pretty cool... adding the bass in will really increase the poignancy of that part. Ending was an easy way to wrap it up.

Overall good, production quality high esp for an early mix but you gotta finish it up with the vocals and bass man.

C4C? Bunch of stuff in my sig you can pick from.

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the_weirdoman

Yup I'm using EZDrummer Metalheads and LePou plugins. (I'm a brokeass nigga)

As stated above this is a very rough mix and not the final one. I'm looking for crits on my composition and songwriting ( while also drawing your attention away from my very shitty mixing abilities )

I'd love to have vocals in my songs, except that I can't growl for $#it. I have the patterns and lyrics written down. Hopefull will get them done someday

isispelican

try to pick harder or reduce the amount of gating on the guitars, it will sound a bit more punchy

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