11-15-2012, 11:47 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Michigan
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My first thing that makes sense to me
We've been rid
of innocence, for days I don't understand Just shut your eyes And let it fly Up in the air some more Nothing again A crash land, in another way It's almost everywhere Inside my head I listen to it, But it's all that I've got There's something more in me But you have forgot I don't know. I wrote it for a lot of reasons right now. It's my first semi complete work in terms of words...everything else has been stanzas. I just wanted to post it online before the buzz is gone. Let me know what you think. Thanks |
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11-17-2012, 03:42 AM
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#2 |
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2012
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So wondful post for us,look forward you writing again.great, agree with your idea!
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11-19-2012, 02:28 PM
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Michigan
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Thanks, I appreciate it. Does anyone have any criticism/things I can work on?? I know it's not that great, but it's a start, I guess.
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11-20-2012, 06:58 PM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2012
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I Like it.
With the entire stanza thing, its good to stick with what you know and try to expand and experiment. just remember, you dont have to show it to anyone if you dont want to, so it doesnt have to be brilliant. ^^ hope that helps, it sure as hell helped me Xx |
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