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Old 01-21-2013, 11:28 PM   #1
mrfellow13
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Unhappy Succumb

Succumb

Intro

I've become to,
Succumb to,
The things I can never change.


I've become to,
Succumb to,
The reason I feel so strange.

Repeat2x

Verse 1
You couldn't understand,
How hard to be your man, too corny?
Why did you lie,
Couldn't we get by.

Chorus 1

You didn't listen, why-),
Didn't you listen to me, . . .
It was so easy to see,
All the things for we to be we.

Break1

You couldn't be . . .
Everything you should be-),

Verse 2 C D G Em
C********************************** D************** G
Why-) not. . just take a step back,
******** D********* Em
Rewind . Relax,
C************************** G
Learn how to act,
C******************************** Em
I shouldn't have to ask.

Break2 4k, 5k, 7k, then 6k, 3k 4-7 and 6-3

Chorus 2
You didn't listen, why,
Didn't you listen to me, . . .
It was too easy to see,
All the things for me to be me.

Break2

You wouldn't be. . .
Everything you could be-)

End D Em G
G
I've become to,
Succumb to. . .
I've become to,
Succumb to,
Everything that's changed.


Maybe these last two later. Start easy.
Verse 3 G E

Chorus 3 G C D

The k signifies muting the strings, not sure how its supposed to be written.

Last edited by mrfellow13 : 01-27-2013 at 10:39 AM.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:16 AM   #2
mrfellow13
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Oh yeah, guess I should put a question or some such.
This is the first thing I've ever written.

Any tips or scathing criticism is welcome.

Thanks.
Ryan
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:49 PM   #3
Mr.Pink101
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Location: In your wallet
Take out the notation. It's distracting and most people here will critique you on your lyrical content over musical composition anyway.

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Old 01-22-2013, 07:25 PM   #4
Saparasa
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Join Date: Oct 2012
After reading through and just thinking lyrically (I don't know music stuff...), to sum it up, it's really repetitive. There just doesn't seem to be much there, a lot of it just feels like words to fill it in, too many 'you's and 'me's. But. This may just be a problem with me as I really don't like repetitive songs and love metaphorical lyrics and I'm not really experienced enough to be criticizing it much. However, there is some nice rhyming in there which makes it feel like it would be able to be sung really well, even without knowing what the music is, there is a tune I have while reading along to it, flows well and a nice beat. So really well done on that part and to be honest, the simplicity of the lyrics are kinda growing on me.
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