benjmc

A piece about the past & the future, memories & projections, using rhyme, repetition, refrains & alliteration. Who knows what quality means anymore. (Not I.)

A Prayer Meeting Every Wednesday

I've got stories, so I tell her a few,
And she laughs at them all,
But then disapproves.

When I was young I liked to draw lines in the sand.
I would hit the bars or the beach every weekend:
I'd be wrecked... or walking piers watching waves
And I always ended up smoking, squinting at stars,
No matter what side of the line I found myself on;
Back then the future was fuzzy in that fairy-tale way.

Now every Wednesday I think about suicide,
About careers and vacations,
About the fact that I lack either, or the currency to live
Without the daily opening & ignoring of letter after letter

And I've got stories, so I tell her a few,
Like the one with the penguin party
Where I took something new

It was at my friend's flat, where everyone dressed in black and white
Which for a few days had somehow changed my perspective on life.
Bow-ties, and handmade fake snowflakes - a real lack of bouquets:
I sniffed some white powder, and I got lost in a haze...
...was this The Wire? an inverse haven? or somewhere more inviting...
'mutter mumble somethin' stabbing' - what was happening,
...was I standing?!

Well I've got some stories, but I tell her the truth:
About my suicide ideation,
About the loss of my youth

I used to go to quite a trendy church every Sunday,
Belt out all the post-modern hymns that I knew,
Teach my friends about Jesus, discuss holy truths.
We held a prayer meeting every Wednesday -
Once with hands placed upon me, I begged to be saved;
Nowadays, I just don't know how to behave.

So every Wednesday I think about suicide -
I dream I'm vacating with the lover I lost:
There's the parable I never unravelled,
There's the line I'm about to cross.

__________________
The Winter Romance

Leave well alone

6-String_Madman

quite interesting...