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Old 12-10-2012, 05:43 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2011
WotW - (luke)mia

run with me brother,
for one last time we'll hunt together.
it's been too long to say (i love you)
but i regret every yesterday,
and forget the way our lines frayed
as we stayed at arteries length,
and strayed still further.
now i'll write our hunt together.
sometime, as we aged,
our vessels gave in to high water
plasma drained all the cause i could muster,
and i was too afraid to paddle through:
i couldn't drown myself to pass air onto you.
tonight, my friend that doesn't matter;
we'll hunt together,
and tear at the cancer.
until your anaemic blood is mine.
until our veins can flow into our teeth
(cracking the marrow in lymphatic release).
so my heart might metastasise
and fight your transience with permanent peace.
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Old 12-10-2012, 06:50 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Good lyrics, sounds passionate, based on true events? Reading it though, it doesn't flow too smoothly, what style would this song be?
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Old 12-10-2012, 09:25 PM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: USA
This is definitely seeping with passion and I like that. I also like the frequent use of medical terminology throughout. Good job.
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Old 12-15-2012, 04:14 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jul 2012
This song has a lot of heart it seems almost like a poem...great job.
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Old 12-18-2012, 02:08 PM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2011
thanks for the kind words, i'm flattered
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Old 01-02-2013, 11:06 AM   #6
do I "urk" you?
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ireland
Stick around, man. Keep writing. Thanks.
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