Cavalcade

Screw all y'allz, I'll stick up for TS. It's generic metalcore, but it's decent generic metalcore. All the clichés are there, and they're all done well. The most important part is up to you, which is how to view it. Is it supposed to be a serious demo for a serious album? Or just a throwaway, written as a stepping stone to something more original? A track like this isn't going to get you signed in 2013, but it's not bad for what it is, just really generic.
Now that you know how to do metalcore with a vaguely symphonic flavor, try another style. If you "know your limits", then push them. They're not fixed, and acting like they are is what will kill your creativity.

tac_sundome

You and guitar_jew should be right. Basically all my songs start out like this and then I work on them to make it more complex and to add some variations, however I still feel like that I'm not at a point where I could just write something groundbreaking. This piece will be just an intro so I didn't even feel necessary to make it much more complex than it is but as everyone said it's just too generic to be okay with it. Anyway I think it serves its purpose as an intro. We'll probably play it live and to be honest: it seems like this is what the average -core fan demands from a live performance: breakdowns, and clichés. I think it's hard to write something that works on stage and is still impressive for those who like new ideas and experimenting in music.

frankibo

Way to set the bar high for yourself...

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Cavalcade

I wasn't talking about this song; I was talking about what you're going to write next. The way I see it, cheap metalcore is the first step towards writing something better. It's too easy to get stuck doing the same thing once you're good at it; I almost fell into that trap with "epic metal" stuff like Blackguard and Equilibrium. Try other genres, and learn to write them.

frankibo

That's a really good tip. If you can write generic music in a few different genres you can easily start to merge and overlap them to create something more original.

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Macabre_Turtle

As have said, there are generic elements all over this, but I don't care. They are well written, and this shows potential if you can grow and expand. Don't take the generic complaints too seriously.

Moving on. As I've said, this is written well, but I have two little problems. I don't like the way that the main riff is 3 bars long instead of 4, and I don't like the tritone chugs because you have chords playing on top of them that don't mesh. Here's a version that corrects these issues I'm having. Feel free to use it, or ignore it.

Attached Files

bbbbefosol.gp5 (18.7 KB, 25 views)

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