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Old 03-11-2013, 05:23 PM   #1
TheNameOfNoone
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How To Kick A Friend Out Of The Band

[OK I got it right now]
So, I have had this metal-rock band I have formed with a (really good) friend from school.
I found a drummer, and he found some really nice place we could rent to have rehearsals at (it has 6505+ head yoohoo ^__^).

However, I have found a bassist-vocalist and keyboardist for my blues project I have always wanted to make.
The thing is, I wanna kick out the other guitarist. He really wants to play anything in my bandbut he is the metalhead kind of guy who isn't quite a great player, forgot his scales long time ago and has a tough time trying to improvise. Also, he couldn't keep pace when we were playing Child in Time and For whom the bell tolls...

He is a really good friend of mine, and he leads the musicians' group at school, so I would really like to stay in good relations with him. How can I kick him out so he doesn't get mad at me or anything like that?

TL;DR
I wanna deceive the rhythm guitarist so when I kick him out he doesn't get mad. How?
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:10 PM   #2
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Tell him that it isn't working, if he wants to stay he has to improve and if he doesn't he has to let go. Give him a week or two to get him better or out of the band with this option.

Or convince him that you'll be joining some other band as a side-project and the one where you are are going to hiatus. And you'll have a fresh new start, if your friend improves you can invite him back, you know?
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:39 PM   #3
TheNameOfNoone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manualex
Tell him that it isn't working, if he wants to stay he has to improve and if he doesn't he has to let go. Give him a week or two to get him better or out of the band with this option.

Or convince him that you'll be joining some other band as a side-project and the one where you are are going to hiatus. And you'll have a fresh new start, if your friend improves you can invite him back, you know?

Well, that's quite...smart? Thanks
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:29 PM   #4
AlanHB
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNameOfNoone
Well, that's quite...smart? Thanks


No. I'm all for giving warnings but if this is just part of some master plan to do over your mate it's quite stupid actually.

If he's your friend and you want to keep on good terms you will not decieve him, you'll tell him the truth. "Sorry mate, you're not quite there with the material. Im sure in time youll get better but we cant really wait until then. All the best for the future."

If you do something stupid like tell him the band broke up then reformed without him he'll see straight through the silly act and think that you're a douchebag, which you are.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:31 PM   #5
Nero Galon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanHB
No. It's quite stupid actually.

If he's your friend and you want to keep on good terms you will not decieve him, you'll tell him the truth. "Sorry mate, you're not quite there with the material. Im sure in time youll get better but we cant really wait until then. All the best for the future."

If you do something stupid like tell him the band broke up then reformed without him he'll see straight through the silly act and think that you're a douchebag, hich you are.


This. If I was the friend then I'd want the truth.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:33 PM   #6
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Use a lawyer like everybody else this days.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:35 PM   #7
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There is no saving this friendship.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:44 PM   #8
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I kicked one of my closest friends (a guitarist) out of the band in my first band, I explained the reasons and that I didn't feel he was in it the same as the rest of us and that we needed to move forward, we're still friends to this day and though there was some tension It all worked out.

I then kicked my best friend out of that same band, he was the singer and my best mate since I was around 11-12 years old, he was having issues in life and it seemed like his heart wasn't in it to push himself forward with the rest of us, after a while we all came to the conclusion that he needed to go, and though it was hard for him and his confidence took a knock it might also have been a weight off of his shoulders. We remain best friends to this day, I talk to him on a daily basis.


Then my last band, ended january 2011. The singer who replaced my best friend joined in early 2009, we knew he had potential but he wasn't at the standard when he joined, by that point we had renamed the band and wrote a new set, going into the studio at the end of may. We played about a lot but things didn't happen as they had in the previous band and we weren't any better off, we decided that to move on we needed a new singer. We had a big chat (end of jan 2011) and basically decided to end it, the drummer stating that he wanted a break from music and maybe we would continue after that.

However I wrote a song a week later and the drummer + other guitarist got involved and we ended up writing again as the same unit minus the singer, we're now playing under another new name with a slight change of style that has made us all a lot more happy, doing the vocals ourselves.

We're still friends with the singer from that band too. Look if you be honest with him and you show him that the band is a seperate thing to the friendship and explain the reasons why as a unit you need to move forward it will be ok. There will be tension and emotions but if you're really good mate it will sort itself out.
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Last edited by Bigbazz : 03-11-2013 at 08:52 PM.
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Old 03-11-2013, 08:54 PM   #9
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If I were you I'd tell him that music is not friendship (I mean, friendship doesn't mean you have to "work" in the same band to stay friends), and that you are looking for someone who is better than him at music.
If he is an intelligent person, he'll understand your point of view and will work to improve his skills if he wants to play in the same band with you again.

Sorry for my bad english...I hope you understand what I'm saying
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:51 PM   #10
kilbie
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Have you actually spoken to your friend about the problems with his playing? If my band was unhappy with my playing, I would be pretty annoyed if they kicked me out without asking me to improve and giving me a chance. For all you know, your friend might be quite happy to work harder on his guitar playing if you told him his playing wasn't good enough (and specifically where he needs to improve). You could also try to help him with the parts he struggles with.
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:42 AM   #11
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Be straightforward, honest, and tell him how you feel.
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