02-22-2013, 12:00 AM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2010
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How is this
I wrote this at work today. I guess it would be best if rapped.
This is one of the first things ive written. It's about conformity, mostly at my school. You're a cancer* Grown and fed through the media You try to talk to me but I have nothing to say to ya It's an annoyance* You're not really a queer Youre just being oddly flamboyant Changing yourself for the sake of fitting in* Conformity, to me thats the deadliest sin These fads are always changing Right now it's metrosexual And you just carry on like your stupidity is perpetual And you'll never get out until you find out what life is all about Diversity, what sets you apart from others Its What makes you stand out be stout and it uplifts your mothers I'm not done yet, I just want to see if it's any good |
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02-22-2013, 04:16 PM
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#2 |
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Gravedigger
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
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Rap requires a near-perfect rhythm. The last four lines are okay, if a bit shaky, in that respect. The rest needs major work. "Conformity...always changing" - these two lines, based on my interpretation, are supposed to run together, yet their is too big a shift between syllables to find a rhythm. Keep track of your syllables; they don't need to be identical, close proximity will suffice.
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03-07-2013, 11:39 AM
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#3 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Zürich
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If not rapped, in what context would you put it?
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