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Old 11-17-2012, 12:57 PM   #521
wandering_taco
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Ok, midi and the powertab file uploaded. Any critiques will be appreciated, this is my second metal song I've written. My biggest concern are some of the transitions, that was the biggest problem in my last song, which you can find in my sig if interested. Also I reuse a couple of the rhythm phrases in a lot of the harmonies, but in different contexts. I don't think it gets boring because the other side of the harmonies are quite different, but I'd like some other opinions. I'm going for a melodic-doomy type feel, akin to My Dying Bride and old Katatonia. Vocals will be growled whenever I get this recorded.

Edit: I've gotten zero comments on this, even though 17 people downloaded it, so I'm removing the files.
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Old 12-01-2012, 05:03 PM   #522
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Hey again. Any criticism is welcome. Thanks in advance.
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Old 12-11-2012, 04:36 PM   #523
Blind In 1 Ear
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs-m...eature=youtu.be

so here is my latest song, critique away! btw, i did blow my voice a couple days ago so you might hear a little pitchiness but nothing too bad.
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Old 12-18-2012, 12:56 AM   #524
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind In 1 Ear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs-m...eature=youtu.be

so here is my latest song, critique away! btw, i did blow my voice a couple days ago so you might hear a little pitchiness but nothing too bad.


I like it a lot. If I have a critique, it's that the drums seem a bit heavy for the folksy guitar/vocals. They dominate the track more than they should. I'm not drummer but if you can find some way to make them more subtle, your voice and guitar will have a stronger impact. They fit in with the bridge, though.
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:46 AM   #525
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind In 1 Ear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs-m...eature=youtu.be

so here is my latest song, critique away! btw, i did blow my voice a couple days ago so you might hear a little pitchiness but nothing too bad.


i think it's just right. you drop pitch a little bit so be careful about that. otherwise i kind of appreciate the vocal vibrato you add in there. and try not to close your throat up so much when you sing. i know it's tough to sing at that range but the sound will really open up if you relax your throat a little and let the air do the work. also the drums are a little loud at the end.
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Old 12-25-2012, 10:33 PM   #526
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind In 1 Ear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs-m...eature=youtu.be

so here is my latest song, critique away! btw, i did blow my voice a couple days ago so you might hear a little pitchiness but nothing too bad.



Nice song, your voice is amazing, maybe the drums are too loud!
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:03 AM   #527
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:14 PM   #528
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^put a score up
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Old 01-07-2013, 03:09 AM   #529
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I don't have a score ready, I could make one, but it would take some time. Or, I could try exporting it via that score maker thingy in Cubase, which would probably be very awkward to read then. Would that be OK?
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Old 01-08-2013, 06:40 PM   #530
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Nah forget it.

I just listened. It has some interesting harmony going, and there is a good sense of musical arc. But the statements in the music are unclear. The motifs are never really committed enough to become a distinct idea, so there's a sense of rambling. And sometimes the piano and cello are in the same register area, and makes it hard to tell what is foreground/background and sounds muddy. The bit around 1:55 feels very out of place, not to mention the piano material is just awkward and forced there. I think the cello could have also gotten better use throughout the piece...it's just kind of there slugging around in the background.

And I'm not sure whether you are trying to follow common practice counterpoint, but if you are, there are some pretty obvious errors like parallel 5ths and problematic voice leading.

I also believe that the lack of score is a problem, assuming your intention here is writing contemporary concert music. Without a score to visually organize your ideas, you become lost in what came before and what should come after. This piece was very symptomatic of that. You need to get in the habit of working with a score while in the process of coming up with the music.


Yes, a lot of criticism, but I can hear potential in the future.
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Last edited by Xiaoxi : 01-08-2013 at 06:43 PM.
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Old 01-08-2013, 07:53 PM   #531
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Thanks for the criticism, Xiaoxi! What exactly do you mean with that the motifs aren't really committed? I sometimes consciously (try to) follow common practice and at other times I neglect it. Would you advise to stick with one of them to avoid a discrepancy in style mid-piece, then?

I'll keep it in mind about the score for something I'm sporadically working on at the moment, cheers!
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:31 AM   #532
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Well, I hear the 3 note motivic head at the start of each melodic idea, but when it starts extending into a full melody, the melody is very indistinct...almost muttering to itself, and there's no sense of flow within it that evokes any statements.

As for going in and out of common practice, it's something that can be done (Shostakovich does it often), but the way you do it here is not effective because we don't get a clear distinction between when you're in tonal harmony and when you're out of it. Instead it creates the impression you were just not careful or have a good enough technique.
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Old 01-12-2013, 02:39 PM   #533
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Erc
i think it's just right. you drop pitch a little bit so be careful about that. otherwise i kind of appreciate the vocal vibrato you add in there. and try not to close your throat up so much when you sing. i know it's tough to sing at that range but the sound will really open up if you relax your throat a little and let the air do the work. also the drums are a little loud at the end.

i have been working on my voice a lot and i usually sing pretty open now, however i blew my voice about two days before i did the vocals on this so my voice really wasn't up to par. my recorder has been having issues so i wanted to just get it done before it crapped out. i can hear i am singing with more weight in my voice than i would have liked and it just wasn't as strong as it usually is, so yes there are some pitch issues here and there. i suppose the drums could have been a bit lower too. i'll most likely do it again when i get better recording stuff.
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Old 01-25-2013, 07:58 AM   #534
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Hey guys. I've been playing guitar for almost 3-4 years now, self taught ( I know I lack musical theory and some basic stuff), and I've finally got the courage to record something and post it online. My friends are saying that it's an okay riff, that I gotta work on it some more and record it properly. Could you please listen to it and give me an honest opinion? Any advice, criticism is welcome. Thanks for your time.

Oh, it's recorded with my phone, because I don't got any recording gear.

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Old 01-27-2013, 08:42 AM   #535
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Originally Posted by andreicristian
Hey guys. I've been playing guitar for almost 3-4 years now, self taught ( I know I lack musical theory and some basic stuff), and I've finally got the courage to record something and post it online. My friends are saying that it's an okay riff, that I gotta work on it some more and record it properly. Could you please listen to it and give me an honest opinion? Any advice, criticism is welcome. Thanks for your time.

Oh, it's recorded with my phone, because I don't got any recording gear.



Hey man! That's a pretty good chord progression you got there dude! To prevent it from becoming slightly repetative though, you could always do some more of those hendrix-esque embellishments you do. One little piece of advice though, and I don't whether this is due to the fact it's recorded with a phone, but you might wanna try and clean up your playing slightly, and also the guitar sounds a little bit out of tune to me (but I don't have greatest ears for that tbh). But yeah, keep working on it, it's definitely got potential
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Old 01-28-2013, 07:11 AM   #536
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Hello bass wizard ( cool username btw), thanks for the reply. It needs more work before I can record it properly. The quality is really awful but yeah, i need to stop stroking so hard sometimes. I changed the chords sometime last summer, I think at the beginning of July, at the moment I don't have the A chord, it broke before I recorded that piece. Once I finish with my exams I'll change them and hopefully they will sound better . Thanks for the advice.
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:15 PM   #537
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This song is in a minor key but why is it that it doesn't sound super minor (like it does when I play the chords on a keyboard)?

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Old 02-15-2013, 05:25 AM   #538
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Old 02-16-2013, 01:48 PM   #539
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I just finished up writing a short (16 bars) piece for piano and I'm more pleased with it than anything I've come up with so far so I'm putting it up here for critique. I only have a crappy MIDI rendition to offer for listening purposes because I'm a shit piano player, but I had my Mum go over the score just now and she affirms that the whole thing is physically playable. Loins have been pre-girded to be torn apart, spare no mercy, UG.

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File Type: mid Allegro.mid (3.3 KB, 20 views)
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Old 02-16-2013, 03:48 PM   #540
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I like it. I'm curious as to why you had a bar of 3/4 followed by a bar of 1/4. Doesn't matter, I'm just curious of your reasoning. My main critique is the abrupt ending. It also doesn't have much development.
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