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Old 01-14-2009, 07:57 PM   #1
DiminishedFifth
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New! Soundtracky Song! Prog-ish? [C4C][GP5/GP4/MIDI]

This is my first attempt at writing for strings and this is what I came up with. ^^ I did alot of things i'm not really used to doing, like clean interludes, strings, whole-tone/dreamy sections of a song, key changes, etc.

I think the beginning up until the evil sounding part is the best, that's just me though.

I was going to make it a somewhat epic and long song, kind of like The Odyssey by Symphony X, but it ended up sounding alot like a movie soundtrack song. And the two people i've shown the song to agree it sounds like a movie soundtrack. And I think it sounds alot like Legend of Zelda at parts. >.>

Anyways... I would like to know you're opinions on this song. Be as harsh as you like, as long as it's critique. ^^

Use RSE if possible... and headphones as well.

And yes, C4C as always.

EDIT: I have decided on a name :] Manifestation The name in the context of the dark atmosphere of the song makes it feel like something has manifested... like a creature of some sort. I think it fits.
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File Type: zip Soundtrack Song.zip (17.9 KB, 399 views)

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Old 01-15-2009, 04:33 AM   #2
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Hey champ. I'm not too great at critique, but I'll do you my best. And my apologies in advance, as I know this will be totally jumbled. I'll do my best though!

I'll agree with you - the introductory passages really did it for me. In fact, it seems that those Pizzicato Sounds really enhance the overall sound wherever they appear. Of course, you've utilized them appropriately and with good judgement. They appeared correctly and in fair moderation, as to not deaden their impacts. So great job on that instrument. Oh and by the way - the evil part at the start was fine. It delivered contrast.
The guitar work was rather impressive when used, although I can't help but feel as if the alteration into the syncopated 3/4 riff diminished the overall quality. It works, certainly, although I feel as if it isn't quite up to par with the remainder of the composition. It just sounds a little forced.
Your acoustic interlude served its purpose well, and perhaps an ever so slight expansion on it - perhaps with some intertwining melodies and counter melodies - may truly make it stand out. When the distorted guitar re-enters here, you used it very appropriately, and your arpeggio work was indeed very tasteful.

I may come back to this page later to update my post, but hopefully this has helped out a bit.

But all in all, a fantastic job, ESPECIALLY for your first effort with unknown instruments. Keep up the fantastic work - I'm looking forward to more from you.

Alex

EDIT!: And by the way! Your flutters at the end of the piece are BEAUTIFUL. It really delivers that dreamy soundscape you developed in earlier sections.
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Old 01-15-2009, 12:24 PM   #3
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Haha thank you :]

Yeah, about the syncopated drums during the 3/4 riff, it was a little forced. But that was another thing I had never done before. I had just recently spent time to figure out how to do that, and I wanted to try it. In my opinion, it didn't really turn out bad, but it does change the tone of the song.

I might increase then length of the acoustic section. Though another acoustic doing a melody over it would sound really good, or harmonized chords with it. Thank you for the idea :]

Thank you for the good review on the trills at the end ;] I really like that part too

Thank you for the crit :] It's very much appreciated.
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:40 PM   #4
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I can really hear where you are coming from with the Legend Of Zelda comment, I could see this fitting into an RPG quite nicely. It's a very atmospheric song, and in all honesty I don;t think I would put vocals over it, at leats not most of it.

I love the pizzicato/whatever strings you are using in this, I think they are probalby what most hint towards Zelda, but they work very well over the breakdown at the beginning.
Also, yes, the acoustic and evil sounding bits are very good, possibly the best bits in the song.

I would work on a different ending though, sounded a bit too cheesy really.

Brillient song.
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Old 01-15-2009, 08:49 PM   #5
DiminishedFifth
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Thank you for the good comments luke :]

The strings are one of my favorite parts of this song. Those are really what make the atmosphere.

for an ending... what would you have in mind?

I just kind of did that as an idea. Like a hero coming out of a hard time. And then I have the recurring intro, but changed as it's now major. You're the second person i've gotten that cliche comment from XD I got it from my friend, as well.
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Old 01-15-2009, 09:00 PM   #6
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It's just the ending C in bar 146 that gets me. Listen to the track Goodnight Kiss off of 6 Degrees Of Inner Turbulence at 4:40, I think this is the kind of direction to take the song in, obviously not exactely, but something a little more evil sounding.
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Old 01-15-2009, 09:02 PM   #7
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I understand what you mean by the ending C getting you. But I wanted it to have a strong cadence and what better than a perfect authentic cadence? Though ending it evil and just dropping it seems like an idea... lemme listen to the song and i'll get back at ya'.

EDIT: That seems like a good idea. The only problem with that is that it makes it seem like it would intro another part. But that's something that would make it better. More dramatic, in my opinion. Kinda like a movement. If I understand what you mean.
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Old 01-18-2009, 06:42 PM   #8
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i like it. it's pretty cool, all the different sounds, umm, wut, else, definitely agree with the soundtrack thing, it's a different sound, i don't usually hear in it these forums so that's a plus, but yeah good stuff overall. now two things, one, how do u make a signature, i've looked everywhere and can't seem to find it. and two, would u care to tak a look at the other things i've written, i'll look at yours too.
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Old 01-18-2009, 10:19 PM   #9
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one, how do u make a signature, i've looked everywhere and can't seem to find it.


It's the symbol to the left of the 4/4 symbol. It's three sharps.

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and two, would u care to tak a look at the other things i've written, i'll look at yours too.


Links to the songs?
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Old 01-19-2009, 12:25 AM   #10
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Incredibly well done, really liked it, great drum beats and the extra instruments you added like the glockenspiel and the pizzicato strings REALLY added that really sinister feel you were looking for. Only qualm I had about it was the lead guitar's solo parts just before the "happy" key change, it didn't really seem to fit and the solo part at the end didn't really seem to flow melodically.

You had some really great riffs in that song and the key changes in the song were very well chosen and placed, great job!


I'll give it a 9/10, you missed out on the 10 only because of the solo at the end but the rest of it was absolutely great.

Loved the breakdown in the intro aswell, I reckon it should stay as an instrumental.
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Old 01-19-2009, 01:02 AM   #11
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Hey that was really really good. There really isn't anything i didn't like about it. Actually i wasn't too fond of the breakdown at the start, but the orchestral instruments at that point were still enough to keep me happy.

I think i'll give it another listen and edit this post with a more detailed crit.
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:18 PM   #12
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So lets start:

I can clearly hear the Symphony X influence in the beginning, it just screams at you "LOOK, SYMPHONY X" that´s a good sign, because they have made some good stuff. A nice arrangement you used for spicing things up. I´m not a big fan of the guitar tho. I feel like the triplets should be to 32ths and 1 16th, and I´m not a big fan of Dropped C tuning, either, it tends to sound generic. I could imagine the drums doing tom fills instead of the doublebass, just 1 hit on the bass drum. The begin to the verse, it just screamed Symphony X again, I can feel it really. I´m not a big fan of the guitar work, tho, maybe back up some chords. Phyrigian Verse was better, it had a nice athmosphere going on. I wasn´t to fond on the key change, but this kind of changes are very common in this kind of music. Nice arrangement on the clean interlude, too. The drums seem nicely written. The evil sounding part as ok, too, just work a bit on your note choice. The chord/sweep change didn´t do it for me, they sounded empty. The key-change/instrumental part sounded like King Crimson, do you ocassionally listen to them? The happy part seemed to be quite nice, it seemed to put the song to a good end. Although I´d work a bit more on some sections, this has potential. The thing I´m missing is a bridge, something like Dream Theater´s stuff, with more vocal parts. Note I´m mostly pointing out bad points, because I think everybody should know where their stuff really shines.
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:58 PM   #13
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Haha does it sound like Symphony X, but different at least? That's what I was going for :]

And King Crimson? I've never listened to them before... I think i've heard of them, but not listened.

About the triplets... i've grown up with Death Metal and noticed that the heaviest songs (that I like) have triplets in the breakdowns. And i've always liked that :] I could try it with the 32nd. I'll see what it sounds like.

And for the verse... when you say backup some chords... you mean add some chords behind the guitar right?

Yeah... the drums at that part are kind of boring... but this is only my second foray into creating drums, so i'm not too good at it quite yet, but I was pretty satisfied with what I had. In my more recent songs, I have more tom fills.

I do agree with you on the emptiness... but I like it. It fits well for me. ^^

And I wanted to add a bridge to connect the Instrumental section with the Happy part, but I couldn't think of anything. I'll probably still go back and try and get one. Any ideas?
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Old 01-21-2009, 01:05 PM   #14
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If you want Ideas for a bridge, please listen to Dream Theaters "One Last Time " you can get great ideas from this one . For the verse, you could either back the chords up by a synth/keyboard, or let the guitar play some chords, with the melodic movement on top of it, like "breaking the chords up". For King Crimson, try their first 2 albums, In the Court of the Crimson King and In the Wake of Poseidon
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Old 01-21-2009, 03:05 PM   #15
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Sweet intro, especially when the pizzicato enters. Gives it a strolling kind of feel. The breakdown brings the theme forward in a nice way.

Me, I like the drums being on the 3 in the next part alot. However the part as a whole feels a bit reptitive, but just very little. If you changed it up just a little bit it'd be great. I take the verse is going to have some kind of vocals?

The interlude, though being possibly a bit too unexpected, does its work superbly. Could be a little longer maybe? The clean verse feels a bit cheesy (in a spanish-feel way, that is) but still fits with the mood. Initially I felt the 5/4 measure was quite unneeded, but it grew on me.
The following part (evil sounding and to the next marker) somehow feels kind of weak - diffuse and like it's simply dragging along. Mainly goes for the distorted part, but the initial one as well. Definitely liked this part the least. Dunno how to change it up though.

The 3/8 part made me laugh, in a good way! I like tense mood you build, and the bells and harp are really nice touches! The way you rest the piece for a while with pizzicato and harp as well.

While I can appreciate the fact that you added some variation when introducing a variant of the intro theme, I really think it would be way more effectful re-introducing the intro theme as it is (well, possibly some changes in the bass to fit in better).
The ending solo is solid work, however though I can absolutely see where you are coming from with the trills, I think it sounds too cheesy on guitar.

Can't think anything else.


All in all, it feels very thought through most of the time, and it's nice to see something really different in here! Great work.


EDIT: as to answer your question in my thread, I've worked (though that is a very diffuse term when it comes to me and my songs ) with it since very late october, however I wrote the three piano themes about nine months to a year ago.
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Old 05-07-2009, 11:25 PM   #16
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haha wow, went to download this, and it turns out I already have it on my computer.

When the pizzicato strings came in, I really started liking it.

Haha, breakdown was awesome.

Sweep at bar 43 was pretty unnecessary, I have to say. I loved the strings in Phyrgian verse.

I think the distortion guitar at 63 should fade out.

At bar 78, I was like "This isn't really evil sounding," but then at bar 80 I was like, "OK."

Can't say I'm a fan of the sweeps in the next part.

Bar 94 was good for what it was; just a ****ed up, scary transition.

MY GOD, pizzicato string fading in is amazing. It's goddamn terrifying. Sounds like something from Zelda.

Happy part was good, but I'm not sure if it really fit.

Actually, it's fine, now that I listen to it again. Overall, a pretty good song. There were some sort of "meh" parts, but... I'm not sure. It actually held my attention.
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Old 05-08-2009, 12:40 AM   #17
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the string part was breathtaking for the happy change. That does sound like some RPG soundtrack, that would be one awesome soundtrack
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Old 09-20-2009, 07:09 PM   #18
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No cc, but i listened and liked.
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Old 09-20-2009, 08:39 PM   #19
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As I listen:

Intro: Wow; a nice start.

Breakdown: I wouldn't call it a breakdown, but it's pretty cool.

Begin Verse 1: So-so. Just a little dull.

Phygrian Verse 1: Same as Verse 1

Clean Interlude: Pretty good.

Clean Verse: I like this.

Evil Sounding?: I think it sounds pretty cool.

Instrumental Section: Not bad.

Happy: I like it.

Overall, I thought it was pretty cool.

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