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Old 01-29-2009, 03:56 PM   #1
tushmeister
Just uh, one more thing..
 
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Long Metal(ish) GP4/GP5

I can't explain this, it's somewhat black metal, if anything I'd dub it a depressive BM song, but I just don't know
I warn you now it's quite long (~12 minutes I think), I wrote it a long time ago, still haven't found a way to record it which I feel would do it justice

Depending on the response I get I'll post a few others I've done, I consider this the best of them, though I suppose thats subjective, even for me to say.
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File Type: zip Misanthropy; Pt.1.zip (11.9 KB, 180 views)
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Old 01-29-2009, 04:08 PM   #2
SPBY
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Take out about half of those repeat signs and it would be a pretty good song
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Old 01-29-2009, 04:12 PM   #3
tushmeister
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SPBY
Take out about half of those repeat signs and it would be a pretty good song


It would also be too 'changeable', I've experimented with them and I found it sounded too choppy without the repeats, that and there are dedicated verses in there which need to repeat to have lyrics over the top, otherwise each verse would be two relatively short lines in most cases

If you could perhaps explain exactly which ones need cutting out etc I could work on shaping things around the idea, but removing them randomly wouldn't work.

Thank you for the input however
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Old 07-10-2009, 12:27 AM   #4
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I like it, nice work.

I really like bar 30 into 31.

Bar 59 into 60 sounds too sudden, you need to build it up a bit.

I didn't like 75 to 78, I think you could even just get rid of them.

I felt that the chord progression in 91 - 94 was a bit overused, it could be a great hook - but only if used in moderation.

Don't repeat 95 to 98, it sounds better if used as a lead in.

The change between bars 107 to 108 sounds a bit messy just being a fade, try something different.

I really liked how you faded into acoustic guitar at the end.

The outro sounded a bit boring and bland and went on for way too long, possibly consolidate all the parts into one without repeating them too much?

The drums had a few problems, but I wont comment on them because I know how much of a pain it is to use GP for drums.

Overall a good job, but I agree that you need to shorten it quite a bit. I also felt that although I'm not the greatest fan of the guitar solo, it would be definately be fitting.
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Old 07-10-2009, 06:36 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BGSM
I like it, nice work.

I really like bar 30 into 31.

Bar 59 into 60 sounds too sudden, you need to build it up a bit.

I didn't like 75 to 78, I think you could even just get rid of them.

I felt that the chord progression in 91 - 94 was a bit overused, it could be a great hook - but only if used in moderation.

Don't repeat 95 to 98, it sounds better if used as a lead in.

The change between bars 107 to 108 sounds a bit messy just being a fade, try something different.

I really liked how you faded into acoustic guitar at the end.

The outro sounded a bit boring and bland and went on for way too long, possibly consolidate all the parts into one without repeating them too much?

The drums had a few problems, but I wont comment on them because I know how much of a pain it is to use GP for drums.

Overall a good job, but I agree that you need to shorten it quite a bit. I also felt that although I'm not the greatest fan of the guitar solo, it would be definately be fitting.


Hey man, thanks for the crit, I lost this track ages ago when my laptop got wiped, forgot I'd even upped it here! So you've not only offered helpful words, but got me my song back shame about the other 4 I had

I see what you mean about 59-60, i may add a few bars transition or fiddle with 59 to make it fit better

Personally I like 75-78 a fair bit, but I'll work at them, see if I can't improve them for sure, I may get rid of them just to shorten it though

91-94 you have a point with, if I remember rightly I was going to use that to link two vocal sections which is why it's there, to act as a bit of a 'scene change' if that makes sense, again I'll try to improve them for sure.

I certainly know what you're saying about the fade at 108 too

I considered putting a solo in, back then I certainly lacked the talent to do one justice, I fear I still do now too, I might see what I can do but being a black metal track (if I was to be typical) it'd have to be either a crackingly **** solo or ridiculously fast/good and I don't like the former, can't do the latter

Anything you want me to crit?
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Old 07-10-2009, 06:48 AM   #6
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True about the solo, haha. :p

I recorded some really simple songs in June in the space of 10 days (writing and recording)

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1156089

If you wouldn't mind, thanks
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Old 07-10-2009, 11:56 AM   #7
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Intro- I love the overdrive guitar part.

Bar 31-36 needs to be shortened, even if there is lyrics that part just doesn't work without a solid beat. Same with the next section.

My only problem with the song so far is even by bar 60 the progression sounds the same to me. In my opinion it needs a new feel by now.

Good lead at Bar 64, kind of anticlimactic having the same progression in the next section. I guess that just my nature, need one hell of a vocal track to keep me interested.

Love the outro too. It'd be nice to hear some swells and strings but that a recording thing.

C4C?
My first deathcore song.
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Old 09-20-2009, 08:07 AM   #8
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Could you upload it again, I can't open it.
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Old 09-20-2009, 10:29 AM   #9
tushmeister
Just uh, one more thing..
 
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If it's no longer there then I can't My computer got wiped a few months back, in fact seeing this thread on my Subs made me realise I might be able to get it back, but if it isn't working, major lame

EDIT
It works perfectly fine for me ()
I'll re-up it an PM you a link now NEM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlackerBabbath
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Last edited by tushmeister : 09-20-2009 at 10:31 AM.
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Old 09-20-2009, 12:55 PM   #10
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Repeats doesn't mean length.
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Old 09-20-2009, 12:59 PM   #11
tushmeister
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zezikaro
Repeats doesn't mean length.


They kind of do... though I know what you mean to say.
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