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View Poll Results: Which Jokes are the best? (Choose One)
Jew Jokes 75 8.16%
Baby Jokes 174 18.93%
Sexually Related Jokes 136 14.80%
Michael Jackson Jokes 10 1.09%
Gay/Homo/Bi/Rape Jokes 41 4.46%
Fat Jokes 22 2.39%
Cookies 26 2.83%
Religous 48 5.22%
Other 67 7.29%
I Like them all, and I Wuv Cookies...From your mom! 320 34.82%
Voters: 919. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-01-2009, 01:09 AM   #1
lastrockgod
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Angry Most F*cked Up Jokes *Official*

Hello. This thread is all about How F*cked Up your Jokes can be. I'm asking for some really Funny and F*cked up ones.

Let the Community of UG understand How corrupt and F*cked up this thread and somewhat your mind is. Range your jokes from Gross to Extremely F*cked up!

Here are some examples taken from the thread.
________________________

Whats the diference between a dead baby and a corvette?
I dont have a thousand Corvettes in my garage

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies?
Unloading them with a pitchfork

~~Made by~~
Cockpuncher 2.0

_________________________

What do you call a thousand dead gays?
A good hunt.

How can you tell if a nigra is about to attack you?
It's breathing.

What's the difference between Jews and pizzas?
Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

What happens when a jew with an erection walks into a wall?
His nose breaks

~~Made by~~
A Bad Guitarist

__________________________

A woman has just given birth to a beautiful baby, the doctor holds the little miracle, cradled in his arms. His eyes light up and he smiles as he looks into it's little face, all full of rebirth and new life, he looks at the mother and whispers "congratulations" she smiles.

Suddenly, the doctor starts punching the baby, kicking it, biting its ears, throwing it against the wall, he stomps on its head screaming and groaning, the mother watches in horror.

The doctor picks the baby up above his head, bringing it down , its spine thumping hard againt his solid, bent knee, a loud cracking noise is produced. The doctor disposes of the baby, throwing it through a pane glass window, Off the 13th story of the hospital.

The mother, teary and screaming cries " WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! YOU'VE MURDERED MY BABY!"

The doctor, trying to choke down his laughter, turns and says with a cheeky grin " I'm just kidding! it was already dead!"

~~Made by~~
Wardy-Slash ...Holy sh*t, This is one F*cked up mind!

______________________________


Currently the best jokes are on pages 2,3,4,5
Message me through my account if you think your joke should be on this list.

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Last update 4-18-09
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Last edited by lastrockgod : 04-18-2009 at 08:14 PM.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:11 AM   #2
Cockpuncher 2.0
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"No racist or or anti religulous jokes. "
Cool thread ruined
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:11 AM   #3
bendystraw
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Searchbar, it's a joke to you.
































You're like school in July, no class.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:12 AM   #4
Hale_91
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theres always someone that trys to turn "use the search bar" into a joke.

fails EVERY time.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:12 AM   #5
EnyoAdonai
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Never tell TS to use the searchbar... oh damnit.
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MaKing thE possiBlE...
...totaLlY impossible
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:12 AM   #6
SweatyMushrooms
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What did the orange say to the apple...






























I rape little boys.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:13 AM   #7
bendystraw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hale_91
theres always someone that trys to turn "use the search bar" into a joke.

fails EVERY time.

It's not supposed to be funny, just remind the threadstarter that it has been done and that he is wasting his time.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:13 AM   #8
neverspoiled
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Elvis is dead......Ohhhh

Yeah...i brought it
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:13 AM   #9
ScottElwood
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What do you call a fat Chink? A Chunk!!

Thats a fat joke btw, not racist.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:14 AM   #10
MedicreDemon
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Did you seriously need to highlight crippled and run? Like nobody was gonna get the "joke".
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You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:15 AM   #11
lastrockgod
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bendystraw
It's not supposed to be funny, just remind the threadstarter that it has been done and that he is wasting his time.

actually lol i got nothing too do atm. hehe lil sister and her friends are using my tv. so lol got nothing to do. none of my friends are on myspace. so =( its just a sad face for me. =)
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Originally Posted by EndOfNothing656
Take out the locking nut on ur guitar man! That way u can tune whenever!

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Usernames are for the weak. I have never created a username in my life and I feel proud of that accomplishment.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:15 AM   #12
Jonjy2
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So Dimebag walks into a bar...

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Old 03-01-2009, 01:15 AM   #13
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we have a thread on dead baby jokes but we can't make religious jokes in a F'd up joke thread?
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:16 AM   #14
masturnate42
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Q: Whats small, red and crawls up your leg???

A: A homesick abortion
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I hate that...actually I just hate anyone under the age of 16


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Just get it cut a little. It will grow back. Besides why is it so important to look metal? That's just ******ed.


Gear in profile
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:16 AM   #15
MedicreDemon
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonjy2
So Dimebag walks into a bar...




RIP Dime.
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You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:16 AM   #16
bendystraw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonjy2
So Dimebag walks into a bar...


Why....










































RIP Dime.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:16 AM   #17
Haustinj
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What Did Helen Keller Say To The Deaf Kid?


UHHUHUHHUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!


What Did The Deaf Kid Say Back?

*Nothing*Cricket-Noises*
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:17 AM   #18
salsawords
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hale_91
theres always someone that trys to turn "use the search bar" into a joke.

fails EVERY time.

Except in this case it applies I'll even direct you to it. http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=430688
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___ \/ ___

Last edited by salsawords : 03-01-2009 at 01:19 AM.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:17 AM   #19
Spamwise
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Quote:
No anti religulous jokes


Why would any one make a joke about that? Bill Maher did an excellent job with that movie.
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Old 03-01-2009, 01:18 AM   #20
masturnate42
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how did helen keller's parents punish her?














by leaving the plunger in the toilet
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Originally Posted by Spoony_Bard
I hate that...actually I just hate anyone under the age of 16


Quote:
Originally Posted by RockGuitar92
Just get it cut a little. It will grow back. Besides why is it so important to look metal? That's just ******ed.


Gear in profile
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