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View Poll Results: Which Jokes are the best? (Choose One)
Jew Jokes 75 8.16%
Baby Jokes 174 18.93%
Sexually Related Jokes 136 14.80%
Michael Jackson Jokes 10 1.09%
Gay/Homo/Bi/Rape Jokes 41 4.46%
Fat Jokes 22 2.39%
Cookies 26 2.83%
Religous 48 5.22%
Other 67 7.29%
I Like them all, and I Wuv Cookies...From your mom! 320 34.82%
Voters: 919. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-01-2009, 06:54 PM   #81
Vince Noir
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Whats the difference between Cancer and a Goat?

Jade Goody can't milk a goat.
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:02 PM   #82
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Why do Jews have such big noses?



Air is free.
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:35 PM   #83
AlecMag
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Does it piss anyone else off when the name DIMEBAG (damn straight, i said it. "R.I.P." ) is mentioned, 10 replies are made saying "R.I.P" ?

I mention this because I saw a dimebag joke earlier in the thread.
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:48 PM   #84
maximumrocker
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hahah pit ftw
some of these are funny
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:56 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlecMag
Does it piss anyone else off when the name DIMEBAG (damn straight, i said it. "R.I.P." ) is mentioned, 10 replies are made saying "R.I.P" ?

I mention this because I saw a dimebag joke earlier in the thread.


It's a meme.
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:59 PM   #86
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlecMag
Does it piss anyone else off when the name DIMEBAG (damn straight, i said it. "R.I.P." ) is mentioned, 10 replies are made saying "R.I.P" ?

I mention this because I saw a dimebag joke earlier in the thread.

R.I.P
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:02 PM   #87
SlinkyBlue
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What does a horse eat?

Hay.

What does a gay horse eat?

HAAYYYYYYY
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Old 03-02-2009, 09:17 PM   #88
lastrockgod
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Common peoples. Lets get more F*cked up then this!
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Old 03-05-2009, 07:38 PM   #89
lastrockgod
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Ha Ha, These are Freeken Awsome and Hillarious.
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Old 03-05-2009, 07:50 PM   #90
Fivebretz
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What have Jade Goody and a chocolate egg got in common?



They'll both be in a box come Easter!



Oh hay-allllllllllll no he didn't
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Old 03-05-2009, 07:53 PM   #91
EMGs_rule
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holy sh1t some of these are awesome!
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:05 PM   #92
spacejamismyjam
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What did a black man have for breakfast today?

An apple.






...Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:10 PM   #93
Hergiswi
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This thread is REALLY sucking a fat one, though I must say:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlinkyBlue
What does a horse eat?

Hay.

What does a gay horse eat?

HAAYYYYYYY

This one was hilarious.
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:15 PM   #94
lightningjoe88
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Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver?

Because she's a woman.
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:34 PM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by A Bad Guitarist
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."


I lol'd so hard.
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:30 PM   #96
AlecMag
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So, there's these two muffins sitting in the oven.

The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here!"

And the other replies...



"HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
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If you click him, he will give you magic powers.

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If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more,
Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:38 PM   #97
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlecMag
So, there's these two muffins sitting in the oven.

The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here!"

And the other replies...



"HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Scott? Is that you?
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:41 PM   #98
razorback_al_31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by masturnate42
how does a black person kill himself?






takes his car on the interstate, sticks his head out the window and lets his lips beat him to death

OH MY GOD

we need more like this
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:10 PM   #99
slashedaxl103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dog--
Why do Jews have such big noses?



Air is free.


F*ck i love UG!
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Old 03-05-2009, 10:11 PM   #100
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Scott? Is that you?

No it's mike.
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