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Old 11-13-2012, 11:51 PM   #7041
AnEvilWalrus
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I just can't keep myself from falling for you every damn time. This is like some shit out of a Three Days Grace song or something. It's ridiculous. And I thought I'd finally been rid of it this summer, after that night. I thought it was closure. It felt like closure. But apparently not.
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Old 11-15-2012, 12:32 PM   #7042
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Just had it all typed out and ready to get this off my chest and hit "post", but I couldn't. Why do I do this to myself?; bury it deep, bottle it up until I break.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:16 PM   #7043
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I think I finally know why I'm so paranoid. It's because that's how you two raised me. Even as I write this I think, I practically know that you'll be reading this. And yeah, it's public domain, as you say. And yeah, I can understand you're only concerned about me. But honestly, you need to step off. Give me some space. Stop telling me all this crap about not being able trust people because they're all bad. Just stop. I'm not depressed because I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. I'm depressed because I have been taught, more so trained, to think that way by you two, my parents. I know you'll read this. I know you'll bring this up. Just take it to heart, and read it closely and look at it from my eyes. More importantly, just take a step back. Let me do my own thing for a while. See how much I improve.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:20 PM   #7044
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Your parents read through your posts on UG? That's ****ed up
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:30 PM   #7045
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Somekid94
I think I finally know why I'm so paranoid. It's because that's how you two raised me. Even as I write this I think, I practically know that you'll be reading this. And yeah, it's public domain, as you say. And yeah, I can understand you're only concerned about me. But honestly, you need to step off. Give me some space. Stop telling me all this crap about not being able trust people because they're all bad. Just stop. I'm not depressed because I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. I'm depressed because I have been taught, more so trained, to think that way by you two, my parents. I know you'll read this. I know you'll bring this up. Just take it to heart, and read it closely and look at it from my eyes. More importantly, just take a step back. Let me do my own thing for a while. See how much I improve.





shit dude, I know how it goes. I had to move back in with my parents for my surgery. Holy ****ing shit.

They just couldn't accept(still can't, the assholes) that I knew what was best for me, even providing that I'd lived on my own before the surgery...

anyways, Hope shit gets better for you man.
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:06 PM   #7046
Somekid94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by damian_91
Your parents read through your posts on UG? That's ****ed up

It's public domain, so naturally they feel like they have the right to read everything. Either that or my paranoia is worse than I thought. Some things are just too specific and difficult to imagine them being coincidences.
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Last edited by Somekid94 : 11-15-2012 at 02:13 PM.
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:33 PM   #7047
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I can feel my seasonal bipolarism coming. I was sure this year would be different
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Old 11-15-2012, 04:56 PM   #7048
yoman297
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Why am I ruining my life?

Why can't I just take some risks? It would make my life a lot better.
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Old 11-15-2012, 11:35 PM   #7049
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What? What? What? Who..? How? What? How can you be pregnant? I didn't think... What... How did.. WHO did.. you? how??

WHAT? HOW DID YOU GET PREGNANT?! You weren't supposed to get pregnant.. I thought you were an innocent person. The little innocent chubby girl who never got into any of that stuff...

Whaaaaaaat?
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Old 11-16-2012, 01:42 AM   #7050
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I work 35 hours a week at a horrible job that I hate, because the job I loved and that paid better couldnt afford to keep me. My managers assume that every one of their employees are untrustworthy and incompetent, even though 90% of the crew work their asses off for way less pay than they deserve. But before work, I spend 12 hours a week at college and have all kinds of homework that goes along with that. And when I come home from work exhausted and start writing my Sociology paper, all I get to hear about is how Im a brick wall to talk to, I must not love you anymore because I'd rather be at work. How was work? Everyone is terrified to make even a mistake because the bosses will slash their hours the next week as punishment.

Im not some ****ing wunderkind. I'm not going to school on a full ride like you are. I actually have to pay for every one of these classes. You're the smartest girl I know. We've been together for 2 years. And now all I hear is how I have no plan for the future, I'm all talk and no action. I'm the one working full time so I can even afford this school, and the dinner dates too. I have dreams too, they've just been put to the side while I work 10 hours shifts at a job I hate. Because dreams don't pay for shit.

You make me resent you because when we fight about this all you do is apologize for everything, we both know you don't mean a word. You just don't want to fight. And then you go to bed. Because thats the ****ing adult way to handle problems. And you ask why I'm going to the gym at 11pm? It's because Im being pulled in every direction and it's the only place where I can put in my earplugs, be wrapped in complete silence, and do something I used to enjoy and used to want to build something, anything out of.

Thats my vent, I dont care if you read it. I just had to get it out.
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Old 11-16-2012, 06:59 PM   #7051
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How did I end up here, my future resting on a job at a fucking supermarket.
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Old 11-16-2012, 07:17 PM   #7052
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Lately I've had this sort of emotion/feeling of discomfort and irritation, but I can't seem to explain what it is. I just feel negatively weird. I don't feel angry or depressed, I just have this negative, "cloudy" feeling that I just can't explain, and I very much dislike it. I'm feeling "bothered" or "disturbed".

I very vaguely know what may be bothering me, but I don't know "enough" what it is, let alone how to explain it. Almost everything (and I mean almost EVERYTHING) sort of "offends" or "bothers" me. How do I get myself to just feel better? I really have no idea what the source of this negative, indescribable emotion is, so I couldn't possibly explain it to a therapist, so that option is out.
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Old 11-17-2012, 08:37 PM   #7053
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Again, your lack of basic consideration is truly astounding. Just so you know, I have a whole fucking week off of school for thanksgiving and now, because of your shit, I'm not going to be able to actually enjoy even a single minute of it.

It really sucks that I am at the point where the only thought in my life that keeps me moving forward is that I will one day be able to walk away from this place and never have to deal with the bullshit of this "family" again.
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Old 11-18-2012, 09:01 PM   #7054
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Maybe we tried at a relationship. Maybe I was na´ve as **** that you didn't want one. Maybe my friend was right and you were just using me the entire time. I don't know. That doesn't matter now, though, because we're still friends and I can still love you as that. Thanks for putting up with me as long as you did.
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:45 PM   #7055
Somekid94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfinator-x
Lately I've had this sort of emotion/feeling of discomfort and irritation, but I can't seem to explain what it is. I just feel negatively weird. I don't feel angry or depressed, I just have this negative, "cloudy" feeling that I just can't explain, and I very much dislike it. I'm feeling "bothered" or "disturbed".

I very vaguely know what may be bothering me, but I don't know "enough" what it is, let alone how to explain it. Almost everything (and I mean almost EVERYTHING) sort of "offends" or "bothers" me. How do I get myself to just feel better? I really have no idea what the source of this negative, indescribable emotion is, so I couldn't possibly explain it to a therapist, so that option is out.

I feel this way a lot, man. You're not alone.
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Old 11-19-2012, 12:46 AM   #7056
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I don't like you. Not one bit.

But I ****ing love you to pieces.
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Old 11-19-2012, 12:59 AM   #7057
OddSalads
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What is wrong with me? I hate myself, though others like me. I cannot take a compliment to save my life. I am far too internal, and have trouble expressing anything, except through writing, which I am reluctant to do. I feel like no one understands me. My thoughts are far too intricate for me to try to explain, and I don't feel like explaining for fear of being judged. I'm pretty sure I've gone through some major changes since my grandfather died. Since then, I have felt an extremely powerful sense of detachment. Like my life is a TV show that I'm watching, and doesn't effect me at all.

I like people, but only from a good safe distance. I don't let people close because I have had three terrible experiences with girls. (I'm only 16, in case anyone was wondering.) I hate whining to you guys/girls, but this seemed like an appropriate place to do it.

Directly a person:
We are at an awkward impasse. I love you and have for as long as I have known you. You aren't perfect, as no one is, but there is a perfection about you. However: I will not ever ever make any sort of advances, due to what happened last time. I know you don't want me, but in my condition, I need stability.

I need empathy and someone to talk to who won't tell and won't judge.

tl;dr: I am weird. I am bad at people. I love a girl, she doesn't like me, help plox.
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Old 11-19-2012, 05:23 PM   #7058
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I've thought about it over the past few days, and I can't seem to decide how I feel about you. One day I love you and want to try again, but know I can't because I ****ed up. Another day I hate you and wish you would die because you used me for so long and still have the nerve to talk to me. Yet another day I can forgive you for all you've done, apologize for all I've done, and accept that we're just friends now. Just remember that no matter how I end up deciding to feel about you, the blame for what happened goes to both of us.
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Old 11-19-2012, 09:54 PM   #7059
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What's the point, I don't fit in around here any more. Everyone turns out the same in the end.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:14 PM   #7060
Somekid94
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Woaw. I just had the flashback of flashbacks. It made me wonder if I even loved you back when we were in school... But I did.. I know I did... Why can't I remember any of it...? I can't remember what day it was, what the weather was like... Shit I can't even remember what season it was... Why is this all so hard to remember...? EVERYTHING is becoming harder and harder to remember... Its like I have Alzheimer's disease, but I'm coherent... Mostly at least.. I think.

If anyone reads this.. Could someone chime in..? Please? Maybe you've heard of this before?
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